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Original poster

Social housing - mental health

177 replies

mumofboysxo · 17/03/2021 10:53

At the end of October last yeah I was evicted from my private rented accommodation by being handed a section 21. Due to Covid we had 6 months to find alternative accommodation, I didn’t find this a problem as I was currently renting and thought I’ll just find something elsewhere! Boy was I wrong!!! I never managed to find a private rent accommodation through a landlord or estate agents as I’m unemployed!

I have 3 children, 7,4 10 months. I started a homeless request with the council in January and since then my mental health has declined rapidly, I’m not eating, sleeping etc and struggle daily with the stress and no stability. I have told the council this and have been given a therapist and anti depresents by my gp.

I received a call from the council 2 days ago to say I do not have to leave the property on my eviction date. My problem is that the unknown/no stability and stress is causing me massive problems with my mental health. And I struggle in a daily basis and fear that the longer this situation carries on for the harder I’m going to fall.

I’ve never suffered with mental health before so this is all new to me. My housing officers seem to just brush off my mental health and haven’t understood or even tried to understand that the prolonging of this housing is causing me a great deal of stress.

Not to mention I want to be the best mother to my 3 children. We’ve just started a referral for my eldest for autism/adhd as he suffers from ticks and also struggles with change so I need to give him warning of any changes.

I feel the council could rectify this whole situation and I my mental health can start improving once I have stability and all they need to do is remove me from this situation but I’m not getting anywhere and they’ve said could be 6 months could be 2 months they don’t know.

Has anyone else been through anything like this and got somewhere with the council?

I would love to rent privately again but due to being good unemployed and my income they won’t accept me. I am still looking for hope I do come a cross something though.
I hope no one thinks I’m expecting a house handed to me. I’m just expecting help to find a stable home for my family.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/03/2021 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

daisyoranges · 17/03/2021 20:43

@WallaceinAnderland

Could posters please bear in mind that OP has posted in mental health for support and is in an extremely distressing situation.
This thread is absolutely awful.

FYI it is perfectly possible to be made redundant when on maternity leave. It happened to me actually.

Wondermule · 17/03/2021 20:44

[quote mumofboysxo]@Wondermule
Because a housing situation will not last forever. And I will have a home for myself and my children. I’ve never been on UC and I’ve always worked but again thank you for assuming. You also don’t need A father to raise children. My children are amazing and I’m very proud of who they are and they’re that way because of me[/quote]
Op you’ve really taken offence where none is meant. You’re judging yourself here, I am not judging you.

Of course you don’t need a father but it is ideal, proved by times like this when you have lost the only income into your house when you got made redundant.

I realise this all sounds a bit harsh and I understand you being defensive about your circumstances, but you’re basically in this situation due to the reasons I have listed. I wish you well.

Original poster
mumofboysxo · 17/03/2021 20:45

@Bluebird2021 you can’t force someone to be a father.
They have no way of helping I’ve already spoken about it with them unfortunately the pandemic has been hard financially on everyone

OP posts:
Jabba2020 · 17/03/2021 20:45

Are the Dad or Granny not in a position to help financially or have the children live with them until your housing situation is resolved? I cannot imagine how stressful this is for you. Putting my children into temporary accomodation, or having them present for an eviction would be an absolute last resort, I'd rather they stayed with family even if it was cramped.

daisyoranges · 17/03/2021 20:46

Can posters please stop berating the OP for the dad being an arse, maybe?

Wondermule · 17/03/2021 20:47

@daisyoranges

Can posters please stop berating the OP for the dad being an arse, maybe?
Who is berating the OP for the dad being an arse?
Bluebird2021 · 17/03/2021 20:48

but you say on the other thread of yours you have a partner!

you DO have some support after all's can you get all together and find some support? you aren't likely to get a council home anytime soon if you are bidding and coming in that far down the list

maybe time to formulate a plan B?

daisyoranges · 17/03/2021 20:49

You are wondermule

You are on her case, and it’s really unpleasant reading to be honest.

steelserenade · 17/03/2021 20:49

Anybody in your situation would be stressed and their mental well-being would take a bit of a hit. It's a normal reaction. It's also short term.

They can't magic up additional housing stock that doesn't exist. Especially not on the grounds of the situation being stressful because that applies to everyone.

Things like severe mental illness and domestic violence cases need to be prioritised over your well-being struggles. That's not to say your difficulties don't matter or people don't care, it's simply a matter of triage.

If unemployment is temporary, then what else could you compromise on temporarily? For instance, moving further out to provide a home and stability does not have to be permanent.

Sometimes we have to be creative and flexible rather than holding out for our ideal long term solution. Find a stepping stone.

BayandBlonde · 17/03/2021 20:50

Sorry if I have missed this, but when does the 6 month notice on the s21 expire?

Once it expires the landlord then has to apply to the court for a review hearing then a possession hearing. That in itself could take another 6 months. The Section 21 is a 'no fault' eviction. The council will tell you to sit tight when actually they have a responsibility to consider your case the moment you become at risk of eviction, which in your case has already happened

Original poster
mumofboysxo · 17/03/2021 20:50

@WallaceinAnderland
You get judged for not working, you get judged for working, you get judged for having children and then you get judged for having too many!
Also get judged for being a single parent but then you’ll get judged for taking care of the children single handed because that’s not good enough
I didn’t plan to be in this situation it’s not as though I’ve done it myself
I only wanted advice Hmm

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/03/2021 20:52

Do you have a partner, op?

Wondermule · 17/03/2021 20:52

You also said in your other thread you have no friends or family near.

Original poster
mumofboysxo · 17/03/2021 20:53

@Bluebird2021
Of course I HAD a partner, I do not have a partner anymore sometimes things do not work out.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumofboysxo · 17/03/2021 20:54

@Wondermule
I have no family near
My children have family near
My closest family is over an hour away.

@GreyhoundG1rl
I had a partner

Not please stop commenting on my thread for advice as neither of you are giving anything productive

OP posts:
Wondermule · 17/03/2021 20:55

@daisyoranges

You are wondermule

You are on her case, and it’s really unpleasant reading to be honest.

If she was posting about not being able to house her 3 dogs, everyone would be saying not to buy any more. But because it’s babies everyone gets really funny about it, like it’s a judgey and unreasonable suggestion Hmm

I’m not judging OP for having 3 children but she has had another quite recently without a resident father to help provide for it. I’m suggesting she have contraception in place so she can’t ‘accidentally’ have another which would be very detrimental to her life at the moment.

Bluebird2021 · 17/03/2021 20:56

the other thread was february

ok, well if in your shoes (and yes i was once with my dc) i would prepare for the eviction and be prepared for a hostel situation, which don't have to be a bad experience

can you ask the council if they will assist with furniture storage? you need to be prepared for the next step

Wondermule · 17/03/2021 20:56

You also put:

My children’s dad has lost his job due to Covid and is not a homeowner of so he cannot act as a guarantor for me as estate agents near me have homeowners as a requirement. Otherwise he has always been good to us and is helping anyway he can.

Can you not move in with him temporarily?

Original poster
mumofboysxo · 17/03/2021 21:00

@Wondermule
I’m sorry but why would I move in with him when we are no longer together? He lives at his mums house and she is ill? He also Cares for his mum.
The house she lives in is not even big enough for the 2 of them?

OP posts:
inmyslippers · 17/03/2021 21:01

Could posters please bear in mind that OP has posted in mental health for support and is in an extremely distressing situation.

^^ I hope I never reach a point in my life where I'm anonymously kicking people while their down on Internet forums

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/03/2021 21:02

why would I move in with him
You are worried about eviction, it's a perfectly valid question.

daisyoranges · 17/03/2021 21:02

Sorry OP I’m stepping back from this now as I’m upset by it myself. I am pretty horrified mn have let it happen. All the best.

Wondermule · 17/03/2021 21:02

[quote mumofboysxo]@Wondermule
I’m sorry but why would I move in with him when we are no longer together? He lives at his mums house and she is ill? He also Cares for his mum.
The house she lives in is not even big enough for the 2 of them?[/quote]
Because surely it’s better for your kids to live with their dad than in a hostel somewhere? You said you get along well, it’s not like you hate each other’s guts.

I find it odd you were allegedly together for 8 years but didn’t live together, split in the last few weeks and suddenly he has lost his job due to covid as well. None of it makes proper sense. But I shall duck out now.

EvilPea · 17/03/2021 21:03

I’m so sorry. The system is shit. It shouldn’t be this way. my suggestion, pack up your house as if your moving tomorrow.
So minimal kitchen stuff left to use, minimal toys. All nic nacs boxed and ready to go. You will have to wait for the bailiffs, it won’t be as scary as it sounds. Especially if your packed and ready.
It’s shit. The whole system is shit, if you’ve got a section 21 that should be good enough. And it’s shit for all whichever side your on
Is your landlord vaguely understanding? It’s