Parents of anxious kids/teen support thread(part 4)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi everyone
I cannot believe we are moving onto a fourth thread!
This is open to anyone looking for support or advice with a child or teen who suffers from anxiety
This is a long running thread and we have some popping in and out,some long term and some who just dip in for advice- all of these are just fine!
We understand the challenges of raising anxious children and how small wins matter(to others they're nothing special,and many are rude enough to say so!)and the sheer exhausting all consuming efforts that parenting very anxious children can entail
Only thing we ask is that others are respectful and kind.all situations are unique ,and there's no judgement allowed

Thanks for opening up Zoo. Signing in for the new thread.

Link to previous thread.

Thank you zoo for new thread

Thanks @Stilllivinginazoo.

Hi,
Long time lurker here.
Mum of a wonderful 12 year old ds who has been anxious since 4/5 years old and also had a certain amount of health anxiety too.
As you can imagine negotiating covid 19 has been fun.
Back to school tomorrow so I'm expecting a looong night 😒

bee good luck for today!health anxiety and covid have been highly challenging in my house too.ds and dd kick off with that.often
Let us know how it went

Pen glad you found us ok,welcome aboard!how are you doing

Glad everyone's moved across ok!

Well lil zoo returned yesterday
Hated the faff waiting others to catch up,online she can plow on or do something else once she's completed tasks!refused to eat til got home(430 once showered etc) then didn't want dinner
Dd2 declared wasn't safe to sleep in same room case she brings covid in and decamped to D's room...cue demands help to clear under D's midi sleeper and put her mattress under his bed!
DS now thinks he can talk at her 24/7(for newbies D's has ASD)when she actually likes solitude when lay in bed,effectively people's out.this isn't going to end well and I suspect I will end up losing my room....

@Stilllivinginazoo glad lil zoo went in and got through it.
DD back in today until lunch time. She's not slept well but has had breakfast. Fingers crisssed.

@Bee0808 wishing your 12 good luck today

Thank you
He didn't have too bad a night and has gone off fairly happily..
The mask issue will be interesting

Thank you for the new thread Zoo

Heyviking how's things your end?you ok?

Hi, my dd14 is super anxious about going back to school but actually went in until break today! She found it a bit much and will only do one lesson tomorrow. I am just glad she went in at all and seemed somewhat positive about it.

Dd is open(-ish) to out of school counselling, and our GP has just referred her to CAMHS. So far I have been calling the shots with school and have told them what we are doing. Dd is adamant she does not want school involved in any intervention. Is this going to be enough “engagement” with the school in the long run?

Hi zoo - frustrating, difficult day all around. . Started with DS1, then DS2, now finally DH sigh.

Sorry, didn’t mean to drip feed. In a nutshell, DH doesn’t handle stress well so he is not helpful in my opinion in a challenging DC situation. Pattern very predictable.

Welcome Bee, I hope today went as well as can be expected. Same for you Five.

Good to see you Viking. Sorry it's been a stressful day and DH isn't helping.

Pen if DD isn't in school full time they are unlikely to accept not trying further interventions. Part time timetables have to be working towards reintegration otherwise they are illegal whether or not you agree. If DD copes full time in school then if she doesn't want school interventions they aren't going to force her. Although help will make her life easier.

Zoo I hope you can sort bedroom arrangements without losing your room. You need to look after yourself.

Today has been exhausting. A tricky appointment, chasing consultants, DS1 had a meltdown over the OT making him confront tricky emotional states - I don't know how his ipad survived being thrown across the room, followed by a phone call with the dentist in which I got irrationally upset. DS1 needs some treatment which they won't do under GA so it has to be an extraction and it's an adult tooth.

Hi, I hope it's ok for me to join you. I'm mum to a 12 year old, who after having no previous signs of mental health issues, tried to commit suicide just over 2 weeks ago. Now he says he's fine (although I don't think he can be) and I'm a nervous wreck.

pengreat news she managed to attend at all.keeping the routine of at least some attendance is key.ive discovered you can't really avoid including schools if not in full attendance.it may chivvy your DD to push herself back if it not you've little choice but to work together
Bee/five how's things?are you guys doing ok
Viking sorry it's all a bit tits up.you know you can offload here or pm me it all anytime lovely.big hugs.x.
Jump that sounds highly stressful.will the extraction be manageable without GA.wish our tech was so resilient.i swear sometimes we just breathe on it and it's stops working!
Ellie welcome lovely.what an awful two weeks you've had.would you like to tell us about it?what support are you both getting now?

I'm glad you posted over here Ellie.

Zoo I am amazed it survived unscathed. The extraction will be under GA, it's just the treatment they won't do under GA. DS1 barely copes with a check up, so can't manage treatment under local. You wouldn't even get him in the chair! I've spoken to several private dentists and hospitals, many do offer the treatment under sedation but none will treat DS1 due to age/additional needs/medical conditions. I'm irrationally upset he's going to lose an adult tooth, especially when he would be able to have treatment to save the tooth under local if it wasn't for his additional needs.

Terrible nights sleep. The wind makes DS1 very agitated. I'm starting to wonder whether changing from Risperidone to Olanzapine was worth it as there's no discernible improvement.

Ds slept badly too jump we also had a wobble as woke up 4am with a numb hand which freaked him out
Lil zoo struggling dizzy spells today,D's freaking/challenging behaviour as schools unsettling him- he's compliant to do most lessons as it's just live chatting, albeit teacher hates,at mo then kicks off rest time.struggljng do morning and evening routines and isn't taking on board requests even simple ones making it very hard going today.lots arguing and WHY..
Dd2 not great either.i need time out,but it's not looking likely

Zoo sorry today has been challenging. Do you think DD3's dizziness is due to a lack of fluids and food now she's back at school?

jump highly likely.schook were keen for her to do 5+6 every day next week as includes plenty core lessons but not eat everyday til 430 isn't clever.she would prefer that tbh as loves English,science and maths so it's a delicate balance what she and school want Vs keep her upright

Zoo I can understand school preferring core lessons, especially if those are DD3's favourites, but not eating and especially not drinking until 4.30pm isn't sustainable, so their plan isn't workable.

Do you have a bp monitor? If it were me, on a day she comes home and is particularly bad I would take her bp and hr and check if they meet the MARSIPAN alerts (which I suspect they will) and then ring the GP and EDS asking if her obs are OK and if it is safe as she is hitting the red/amber criteria - the answer should be no and should get you seen quicker, if not sent to A&E.

Had a reminder this morning why we can't let our guard down. DS1 was having a meltdown upstairs this morning because he "isn't strong." DH was dealing with it when he stepped back to get the hair wax off of DS2 when DS1 threw himself down the stairs. DS1 is fine, but it reminded us that when DS1 is in meltdown he really does still need within arms reach care.

Goodnessjump that's not the start to the day you needed.bp-blood pressure?
Hr is ?

She is currently,according to eds thread healthy weight,with WFH ratio over 100%
She is tired,but not sleepy a lot and has been complaining of feeling cold all the time when not in bed for about 4days

Crikey @1jumpforward2back that's a shock for you. It's exhausting being ever vigilant isn't it?

@Stilllivinginazoo thanks for asking unthread. DD had a panic attack on her first day back because we had forgotten to giver her her meds in the morning. What a day to forget. She got really paranoid and they called us to collect at 10.15.
However the next two days have been okZ the off anxious moment or low mood but she has managed them herself and stayed until
Lunch time both days. Great progress.
The plan is half days until Thursday next week then try and extra lesson. I don't want to push her too far though.

five that's all really positive

Five that sounds like good progress. I think you have the balance right between pushing DD out of her comfort zone to confront some of the things she finds anxiety provoking but not pushing too far that it is too much and DD can't cope.

Zoo hr = heart rate. You have done amazing to have supported DD3 alone all the time and kept her WFH above 100%. The lack of fluids must take its toll, and although her WFH is OK other markers may be abnormal.

DS1&3 are 79 & 81% WFH, not solely due to their EDNOS, a medical condition makes it hard to gain weight. Higher would be better but they put on weight as they grow and have always plotted at the bottom of the charts.

It is exhausting. The constant risk assessing and worrying a lapse in concentration will have consequences. Throwing himself down stairs and head banging are DS1's usual self injurious behaviours. Normally we try to make sure he isn't near stairs when distressed and we are close enough to be able take grab him. Thankfully bedtime was relatively smooth and he is fast asleep.