ADD and ADHD testing for adult females

[Youngatheart00]

Sorry, I wasn’t sure whether to put this in general health or mental health. Apologies if it is in the wrong place.

I won’t go into heaps of detail but I suspect I may be on the spectrum for ADD of ADHD, if A spectrum is such a thing (rather than yes or no)

The last year of wfh has amplified it. I seem to operate mostly in a worn out fog with brief moments (maybe an hour or so a day) when I’m totally ‘in the zone’ (as I call it) and my productivity and brain power goes into hyperdrive. This can be when presenting to an audience on zoom or working on an important email.

I get so stressed I can’t find the zone a lot of the time and I’m worried that in some meetings I can’t even get my words out as when people ask me questions I struggle to process them and respond quickly without having time to think.

I know senior leadership might start to wonder why I’m so super impressive some of the time (largely when it matters!) and a liability at others.

After a period of being ‘in the zone’ I generally keep a euphoric feeling for a while and take that productivity into scrubbing the bathroom, for eg. But at other times all I can do is lie in bed. It’s like I have to recharge my brain and body

Is there something wrong with me or is this normal?? Does this sound like ADD or ADHD and something that could be treated / managed?

Have you looked at some of the symptom lists to see if you have other symptoms? It's best to look at lists that are female specific.

Have no advice I'm afraid but similarly think (and almost can't believe it's taken me this long to realise) that I have adhd. I can relate to what you say about the zone.

Hopefully someone will be along to tell us how you go about getting assessed and diagnosed as an adult.

Watching as I am similar but recently also can't seem to see anything through. The only thing I am Managing is my work. I have a test in July - I went thorough my GP. Also suspect I may have autism.

I’ve just taken an online test. Some of it really resonated, other bits not at all. I scored 49/72

I feel like I’m fighting so hard to present as a normal functioning adult but it’s so hard unless I’m in that zone....or sometimes a longer wave of productivity....but it’s been a long time since I had one of those.

Realise I’m also displaying strange behaviours in friendships and it’s making me feel like a bad person. In person I’ll be super engaged, chatty, interested, funny, life and soul. But I’ve no interest in phone calls and if I’m completely honest I don’t care about staying in touch. I don’t feel properly emotionally invested. Am I just a fraud???

Is the NHS a place to discuss my worries or am I likely to be fobbed off?

This is how I feel at work.

I am autistic but possibly have traits of add too.

I used to decompress on the bus to/from delivering training and I miss it so much.

I went to nhs and did get support- after one misfire of being referred for anxiety management.
I think I got the support because it affected my work and had been noticed by my manager. So impacted on me as a worker.
If I had just focused on how it impacted on eg my ability to read a novel all the way through I dont think that would have got me a referral even though to me that has an equal impact on my wellbeing.

I think from the research I did you have to be able to recognise you had it as a child - when I looked back at my adolescence I was like wow yeah that's pretty much the trajectory described. As a adult you have so many coping (or hiding mechanisms) - looking back at how I was a teenager and then tracing it forward helped and I can see that yes of course it has had an impact on my ability to achieve my potential in career, relationships, economically etc.

I am the same in that I can do work (though I only work part time) and have learned to be mega organised and productive and on top of everything (generally by being well ahead of myself by taking advantage of those 'zones' to get everything I can done whilst I can do it itms). However it leaves nothing for home.

I've read that's common in women as well - that they manage at work and have really good strategies and appear really organised but then have cluttered disorganised houses or end up eating a lot of junk because they can't make decisions and plan food and at home tend to start a million tasks but never seem to be able to finish anything.

I can't do relationships. I can do the honeymoon period whilst not working or having a lot else on my plate but when that translates into every day life I just don't have enough energy, attention or will for them itms. It's too overwhelming and to have that endless pressure of them feeling they're not getting enough of you and hence amping up the emotional demands leaves me overwhelmed and drained by the fact they can't understand that I don't have that energy at that time and just need to tune out and recharge and demanding my attention feels like being poked with an electric cattle prod

I could go on.

@SuperLoudPoppingAction and @TheHoneyBadger thanks for sharing your experiences. Whether I have ADHD, a form or autism, or not, you have made me feel (marginally) less self critical and less alone. Just posting ‘is this weird thing about me normal’ and getting a reply is reassuring in a way.

I think the keeping up a highly functioning facade is part of what is exhausting for me. Whereas I feel like I’m going to pieces in the background. I’m also drinking too much alcohol - I can’t switch my racing brain off in the evenings without a bottle of wine.

psychiatry-uk have an nhs contract and can do everything over phone and zoom, as long as your gp refers you. You can request it with the 'right to choose' thingy

psychiatry-uk.com/right-to-choose/

I have add, diagnosed last year. If you think you fit the criteria then talk to your doctor about your synptoms and ask your doctor if you can be referred for an assessment. Then you can be referred to a psychiatrist

Not sure if this is remotely helpful but things that might help with evening routine for busy brains -

Early evening walk
Sensory stuff - aromatherapy/weighted blanket/bath
Trying to avoid info-rich screens in bed (so I switch to kindle rather than smartphone).
Audio book with headband style headphones you can sleep in.
Cocoa or similar before bed. Same thing every night. Pukka make nice herbal teas for relaxation.

Last week my average sleep was about 3 hours so I'm not any kind of role model but I know I do better with my kindle than with my phone.
The idea of lying with nothing to do is horrifying.

THink I’m prob adhd/add too. I float about in a daydream OR I’m hyperfocused. There is no inbetween!

Watching with interest

I have a private assessment in March after being let down by the NHS and their lack of knowledge of women with ADHD.

So far I’ve been given a whole load of forms to complete (exactly what someone with ADHD wants to be doing) and my husband has one to fill out too then it’s a 2 hour Zoom appointment.

I’ve been so sure for a good while now but of course now I have the assessment booked I’m convincing myself I’m lying and going to be found out

Thanks Lubey - I've downloaded the form and letter and very often is my answer to the majority, a couple only often. Only one I don't identify with is not being able to relax when I have time to myself at home - I revel in chilling alone.

There are some amazing fb groups btw so if you’re on there definitely join them as seeing so many other people with the same struggles you have just helps so much (for me anyway),

It's interesting what you say about relaxing HoneyBadger. I phoned my GP initially to find out about a possible NHS psychiatry referral/ diagnosis and scored highly enough on their questionnaire to be referred (I've booked to go privately since finding out how long the waiting list is!).

One of the GP's questions was whether or not I have trouble relaxing and it surprised me as I hadn't associated that with ADHD. I said I had no trouble relaxing at all and he sounded a little surprised as I was saying I had massive problems with most other things! But when I thought about it, I realised that to relax, I basically need to drink vast amounts of alcohol (which makes me feel amaaaaaaazing!) or get myself tucked up in bed with my laptop in front of me and jump around between 60 different tabs reading bits here and there about dozens of different things while watching Youtube videos and streaming shows etc at the same time. Without alcohol or a vast array of stimulating reading/viewing material I can jump around between, I feel constantly agitated which fits. If you have ADHD you lack dopamine (I think - I've only just started reading about all this in the last few weeks and work's been busy). When you're getting dopamine from external activities you'll feel normal but if you take the source of enjoyment away and you'll feel retched. Which is why I think I read meditation doesn't typically work for ADHD people. Without a source of dopamine we can't actually relax and remain in a constant state of mild agitation no matter how many calm peaceful beaches you imagine or whale noises you listen to!

@adhdisabastard that’s so interesting. I recognise a lot of what you say in myself.

I feel the same way that you do a lot of the time, and I have ADHD. I would suggest that you go private, it doesn't cost that much.

@adhdisabastard

It's interesting what you say about relaxing HoneyBadger. I phoned my GP initially to find out about a possible NHS psychiatry referral/ diagnosis and scored highly enough on their questionnaire to be referred (I've booked to go privately since finding out how long the waiting list is!).

One of the GP's questions was whether or not I have trouble relaxing and it surprised me as I hadn't associated that with ADHD. I said I had no trouble relaxing at all and he sounded a little surprised as I was saying I had massive problems with most other things! But when I thought about it, I realised that to relax, I basically need to drink vast amounts of alcohol (which makes me feel amaaaaaaazing!) or get myself tucked up in bed with my laptop in front of me and jump around between 60 different tabs reading bits here and there about dozens of different things while watching Youtube videos and streaming shows etc at the same time. Without alcohol or a vast array of stimulating reading/viewing material I can jump around between, I feel constantly agitated which fits. If you have ADHD you lack dopamine (I think - I've only just started reading about all this in the last few weeks and work's been busy). When you're getting dopamine from external activities you'll feel normal but if you take the source of enjoyment away and you'll feel retched. Which is why I think I read meditation doesn't typically work for ADHD people. Without a source of dopamine we can't actually relax and remain in a constant state of mild agitation no matter how many calm peaceful beaches you imagine or whale noises you listen to!

Funnily enough after posting it I realised that's the exact same with me. I suddenly remembered that whilst pregnant (and unable to drink) I used to have to watch tv, do sudoku and something else all at the same time. I realised that my idea of relaxing is as you say watching something on netflix whilst playing a game on my phone and having to stop and switch to mumsnetting then go back to show etc. At least 3 things at once. I too use alcohol and I've realised food too. I get this thing where I'm very very nearly asleep and then I suddenly burst awake with an overwhelming need to eat crap. I think that's dopamine seeking too.

I love reading but it is so rare that I can read a book now. I think I used to do it when in the zone and would read whole books in one go. Since having my son, having more responsibilities work etc my zone can't be frittered away on books so it requires me to be on holiday or something.

Sorry to repeat post but since I've been conscious of this I notice it more and more and feel more disturbed by symptoms.

I've been treated for anxiety and depression on and off since my teens and I'm feeling paranoid that when I raise this they'll think I'm a hypochondriac and try to poo poo it.

So often thee things go hand in hand with ADHD or actually it is the ADHD causing the symptoms. It’s really just so misunderstood. Makes me quite angry actually.

Can you afford to go private for assessment HoneyBadger? It does sound like you have it. I've found that private doctors usually take you more seriously (although there are some excellent NHS doctors too).

Dose your GP have a Mental health nurse? Try and get an appointment, they can refer you.

Youngatheart00

I am going through testing atm.

The one thing that is an indicator is if you have had similar symptoms throughout your life.
Both my children are going through testing as well. It was my dd who pointed it out to me.
I did a few of the tests and scored almost perfect scores. I watched the How to ADHD (I think it is called) videos on YouTube and discovered Jessica McCabe who did a video that described her life from childhood and she could have been describing my life.
It all fell into place. Why I cannot hold down a job, why I spend most of my time looking for things, why I failed at school and at life. Why my brain is buzzing all of the time with ideas but I can’t quite focus on any one thing so nothing gets done. I remember at school being in awe of other children who seemed to know what was going on or could follow 3 or 4 verbal instructions and complete tasks whilst if I was lucky I could only remember the first instruction and then would be looking around to see if I could guess what others were going next.
My one regret is that it hasn’t been picked up before and I have wasted so much of my life trying to fit in and do what others seem to find easy and failing and becoming depressed when it all goes wrong.

Interested to see how you get on.