ADD and ADHD testing for adult females

[Youngatheart00]

Sorry, I wasn’t sure whether to put this in general health or mental health. Apologies if it is in the wrong place.

I won’t go into heaps of detail but I suspect I may be on the spectrum for ADD of ADHD, if A spectrum is such a thing (rather than yes or no)

The last year of wfh has amplified it. I seem to operate mostly in a worn out fog with brief moments (maybe an hour or so a day) when I’m totally ‘in the zone’ (as I call it) and my productivity and brain power goes into hyperdrive. This can be when presenting to an audience on zoom or working on an important email.

I get so stressed I can’t find the zone a lot of the time and I’m worried that in some meetings I can’t even get my words out as when people ask me questions I struggle to process them and respond quickly without having time to think.

I know senior leadership might start to wonder why I’m so super impressive some of the time (largely when it matters!) and a liability at others.

After a period of being ‘in the zone’ I generally keep a euphoric feeling for a while and take that productivity into scrubbing the bathroom, for eg. But at other times all I can do is lie in bed. It’s like I have to recharge my brain and body

Is there something wrong with me or is this normal?? Does this sound like ADD or ADHD and something that could be treated / managed?

@TheHoneyBadger I completely identify with leaving jobs because they became overwhelming or unbearable. All of mine became that if I stayed long enough - including the two from which I was made redundant.

I’ve had several bouts of depression. In the last one I took antidepressants, and the difference they made was massive. However, it was the struggle to keep up with work/life/the world which prompted the depression.

We can only live one day at a time. The trouble is my mind is trying to deal with tomorrow and next week as well, and all the little things which belong to today are soooooo much and so many, my brain just kind of goes No, can’t cope.. Much easier to ignore them and go off and do something interesting instead. This is a strategy which gets me through in the short term, but longer term it results in massive backlogs, untidiness and a habit of delivering things that people want from me late, half-arsed or not at all.

I have this looming dread that eventually they will work out that I’m rubbish and come for me. So I’m leaving before that happens. Plus, I’ve had enough.

*We can only live one day at a time. The trouble is my mind is trying to deal with tomorrow and next week as well, and all the little things which belong to today are soooooo much and so many, my brain just kind of goes No, can’t cope.. Much easier to ignore them and go off and do something interesting instead. This is a strategy which gets me through in the short term, but longer term it results in massive backlogs, untidiness and a habit of delivering things that people want from me late, half-arsed or not at all.

I have this looming dread that eventually they will work out that I’m rubbish and come for me. So I’m leaving before that happens. Plus, I’ve had enough.*

This is SO me. Ugh, I hate it.

I'm too scared to write a list of what needs doing because it will be too big and I'll just get overwhelmed

Lists used to help me and I do tons of planning and writing things down etc to manage work but can't face it in the rest of my life.

I may make it my goal to write a list. I'm distracted by a potential second job that looks promising and I'm getting all the right noises from the employer but it's sapping too much of my attention and thoughts when there's other things I need to be getting on with to make the most of the easter holidays before I'm back at work.

sounds quite mild if you have it

Considering you don't have much of the symptoms or with much severity, would you consider journaling when these symptoms are worse/better? Adhd effects us worse during the Luteal phase of our menstrual cycle, so maybe you are noticing more then

I am more and more sure that I have some 'form' of ADHD.

I have posted this before I think - I was a very academically able child, with no effort. I have a brilliant memory for things that interest me or that I feel I need to know for the purposes of passing an exam - hence I was good at passing exams. Coursework - pah! If I could get myself focused enough to do it then it was usually only a few hours before the deadline and again, unless something that really interested me, not very good at all.

Distracted should be my middle name!!

I dislike housework but I think that is because I get so hyper focused on every detail that it is just exhausting!

Caffeine does not stimulate me - if I have a coffee in the afternoon I will often fall asleep afterwards.

Screens don't stimulate me - using my phone to play games sends me to sleep very quickly.

I've had a depression/anxiety diagnosis since I was 16, been on antidepressants most of my adult life - often with the most horrendous side effects when first starting on them - like being able to feel them rushing through my veins, not sleeping for several days, feeling invincible etc. The only person ones that did not have that effect on my were MAOi's - I was the most effective and creative I've ever been on those and naturally lost weight for the first time ever in my life. I came off of them to ttc. Now I'm on SSRIs again and it took weeks to get over the ott stimulated hyper feelings they gave me. I read somewhere recently that MAOis have been used previously as an ADHD medication.

I have binge eaten for years - it's one sure fire way to calm myself down - I can completely focus on the taste and texture of the food while it's in my mouth - as soon as I swallow it though I need more!

I have just have never got anywhere for long - despite having a fair few qualifications in different professions and been recruited for good well paying roles (I've re-invented myself several times.)

Like another PP said I have a good few friends dotted all over the place, but no big local friendship group (although I know nearly everyone in my area/they know me.)

I've just always felt like a failure at everything!! But reading all of the PPs does make me feel like I'm not completely different to the rest of the world. It's just can I focus enough on pursuing a diagnosis - for me the end goal I think would be to see if medication would help me live more 'normally'.

Anyway, this has been a great distraction from what I was doing (tidying - yuk!)

Does what I've posted sound like enough to be taken seriously by a doctor?

Reading this has confirmed what I've known for a while. When I tell anyone I think I have adhd they don't really get it. I think you have convinced me to get a diagnosis

Has anyone found theirs got worse in menopause?

@RobBeckettsTeeth yes menopausal brain fog has definitely definitely definitely made my experience worse. Whereas before I was able to somewhat mask what was going on with my lack of organisation, now it’s almost impossible

@Danity1000 who was your question aimed at?

Just coming back to this thread as haven't had a chance to hop onto Mumsnet before now. Hope this isn't classed as reanimating a zombie thread?

Anyway just wanted to say how incredibly helpful this thread has been. So much that has been posted has resonated; the 'eternal adolescence'; the chaos; and particularly the earlier posts about not being able to work full-time. I'm not sure who posted (@winched or @TheHoneyBadger perhaps) about how if they focus on one thing, the rest of their life turns to shit? I am exactly that.

I have so many areas I need to focus on (the kids; the house; work; staying healthy; paying bills - and I know these are just normal life, so why are they so hard????) - but if I am thriving in one area, you know just everything else is going to utter shit. Kids are living off cereal and instant noodles; dirty washing piled on the floor; mouldy bathroom; cupboard doors falling off; debts from forgotten overdrafts as per the poster above but, wow, I'm literally winning awards for stuff at work so look like I'm too functional for an ADHD diagnosis?

Anyway yes, I always thought I was too 'creative' or whatever for fulltime work and have lived a life of half-poverty because of it. I've been working full-time for the last six months - plus freelancing on top of it, and teaching exercise as my side hustle too - and raising the kids alone - and I am so exhausted. Am about to go part-time again and cannot wait to maybe not go to shit, but of course, then there won't be enough money coming in.

I wish I had a husband or someone to help0 pay the bills but I irresponsibly married and had babies with a much younger, stupider man who - of course! - was basically an abusive bigamist who abandoned us! Because god forbid I do a risk analysis on the concept of partnering and raising kids with someone, no, let's just do it 'for a laugh' and because 'it'll be fun'. (It was not fun).

Anyway. My only other concern, which sky-rocketed after I was turned down for the initial ADHD assessment last year was - what if I am 'just shit', after all? When I first found out about ADHD in women, and matched with all the symptoms, I was so relieved - like, oh my god, I am NOT SHIT, after all? And then when not diagnosed, and told I was a 'very functional 49 years old lady', it felt like a slap in the face, a confirmation that I couldn't cope with life because I am substandard. What is that is true and the ADHD thing is just a comforting delusion?

Sorry for writing so much. After reading about functional life on meds, am tempted to start microdosing cocaine to help with things! (Because that's definitely a good idea with no possible bad ramifications, amirite?)

@warmleatherette who turned you down for the assessment. If it was the NHS persist again or do it privately.

DD became very unwell at 15 with eating, anxiety and depression. CAMHS refused to help and she was diagnosed with ADHD by a private psychiatrist. It was the turning point in her recovery and came after a minor crisis when she was admitted to hospital for CAMHS assessment. As this was going on the psychiatrist gave us the assessment results and I thought it important they know. A fully qualified and experienced MH nurse laughed because a 17 year old was too old to have ADHD.

DD is now medicated and on the last 5 years her life has transformed. I'm just glad we were able to get her the help she needed as a teenager.

I was diagnosed aged 44 via gp referal to The Maudsley hospital at Kings College London.

All fairly straightforward. Sent an appointment . Attended . Did loads of tests/games/quizzes . Received diagnosis.

Was prescribed Strattera (atomoxetine hydrochloride) which I took for a few years but ultimately decided that the door of support that opened once I had the diagnosis were sufficient to manage without drugs.

I'm a civil servant and once I was diagnosed they assessed me for specialist software to help me be more organised within my role.

I can really identify with only being able to focus on one thing and when I have to do 2 or 3 things everything turning to shit

In life I think you need to go to work to earn money, pay the bills, cook the dinner, clean the house, keep fit and raise your children.

If my only job is to pay the bills then I am the most amazing bill payer there is. I can make sure I shop around for the cheapest amounts, I can do things that will bring the costs down but cooking, cleaning, going to work, etc goes down the toilet.
If I go to work then paying the bills and all the rest doesn’t get done so I am sitting with money in my account because I haven’t paid anyone.
I had children and I think I have raised them brilliantly but the house was always a mess, because I preferred taking them to Lego Land than clean the kitchen.
We ate out a lot.

One thing that I don’t think I will ever master is cleaning. It holds absolutely no interest for me. I only do it when certain areas look really scummy