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Original poster

ADD and ADHD testing for adult females

114 replies

Youngatheart00 · 25/02/2021 09:44

Sorry, I wasn’t sure whether to put this in general health or mental health. Apologies if it is in the wrong place.

I won’t go into heaps of detail but I suspect I may be on the spectrum for ADD of ADHD, if A spectrum is such a thing (rather than yes or no)

The last year of wfh has amplified it. I seem to operate mostly in a worn out fog with brief moments (maybe an hour or so a day) when I’m totally ‘in the zone’ (as I call it) and my productivity and brain power goes into hyperdrive. This can be when presenting to an audience on zoom or working on an important email.

I get so stressed I can’t find the zone a lot of the time and I’m worried that in some meetings I can’t even get my words out as when people ask me questions I struggle to process them and respond quickly without having time to think.

I know senior leadership might start to wonder why I’m so super impressive some of the time (largely when it matters!) and a liability at others.

After a period of being ‘in the zone’ I generally keep a euphoric feeling for a while and take that productivity into scrubbing the bathroom, for eg. But at other times all I can do is lie in bed. It’s like I have to recharge my brain and body

Is there something wrong with me or is this normal?? Does this sound like ADD or ADHD and something that could be treated / managed?

OP posts:
TheHoneyBadger · 20/03/2021 13:36

I've put it on pause for now. I had a chat with the head of sen at my school and he pointed out that a dx does place limitations on things, the example I remember was some military roles are barred to people who have ever had a dx. Chatting to him it was clear that in ds case a dx was not in his interest as he is managing mostly at school.

It's made me pause because I want to teach overseas when ds is independent and in fairly conservative countries and I need to think about whether I really want a dx.

Bythemillpond · 20/03/2021 13:56

TheHoneyBadger

I understand about the limitations but ADHD undiagnosed and untreated is in itself a imitation.

TheHoneyBadger · 20/03/2021 17:34

It is but ds is happy and able if a little poorly behaved sometimes in class and I've made it to 45 keeping a roof over our heads.

I'm letting the awareness settle in. I've developed lots of coping strategies and am actually doing well other than not being able to work more than very part time and probably needing a cleaner.

It's given me things to reflect on and reframe and inform my decisions and how to tackle things. The only difference a dx would make would be medication. I'm going to give it some time and see how I feel

Hotelhelp · 20/03/2021 17:37

I have an assessment on 30th and am happy to report back if it helps anyone?

TheHoneyBadger · 20/03/2021 17:59

Yes please Hotel.

Winecheesesleep · 20/03/2021 18:00

Would anyone be able to share the cost of a private assessment? My DS has been on the waiting list for an NHS assessment for over 2 years (we went private ages ago) so I imagine the adult waiting list is even worse.

Hotelhelp · 20/03/2021 18:14

Will do! Still need to fill in all of my forms though and I’ve had them for a month.

My assessment is £695 but there will be additional costs for the prescription, letter to GP plus meds which will rack up several hundred more.

If you’re in England you can go via Psychiatry UK with Right to Choose which would make it free.

Winecheesesleep · 20/03/2021 23:49

Thanks @Hotelhelp! Smile

I hope your assessment goes well.

Bythemillpond · 21/03/2021 15:36

I had an appointment with my doctor initially to see if I could be referred. I was told I was too old and it would take too many years.

I booked another appointment with a different doctor (not one of the regular ones) who referred me but also warned me it could take years.

I had my first telephone consultation a few weeks later and I had the forms sent to me (3 times as I kept losing them). Finally getting them off a few days ago and I am now waiting for my next assessment

My dd who started the process off a few weeks earlier had her telephone appointment at the end of January beginning February and her forms sent off within a week of getting them and has her next assessment booked in April.
How many assessments do they do and is there a point where things slow down as it seems like things are running quite smoothly and it isn’t going to take years or it could be just our area that is ok

PuzzledObserver · 25/03/2021 18:41

I’m waiting for an assessment with Psychiatry UK via NHS Right to Choose. Well, I will be once I have submitted the forms :-)

One of the things that convinced me to get referred was joining a Facebook group for UK women with ADHD. Reading the posts on there was like they had been reading my mind and living my life.

I am however concerned that I may have made it all up - perhaps I’m just a lazy under-achieving so and so who could and should do better at life. It’s not that I’m a total failure. It’s just that, in order to perform adequately, I have to work really hard to organise myself, and the longer it goes on, the harder it gets. I’ve had 2 careers, started both with great excitement, but eventually just got fed up.... and when something is no longer stimulating, it’s just..... yawn. However, there’s a FAQ on the Psychiatry UK website that of people who come to them at their own instigation because they have done their own research and approached their GP to get referred, 95% are diagnosed with ADHD. Of those who are referred because the GP suspects ADHD, it is 70%.

I’ve been quite poor at maintaining relationships during my life. No fall outs with family, but I can go ages without seeing them or speaking to them and it doesn’t bother me. I no longer have any friends that are just my friends - they are all couple friends with my husband.

From time to time I watch YouTube videos about ADHD. The more I see, the more sense it makes.

I have made the decision to retire at 57, because we can afford it, and then I can indulge myself in all the million and one things which interest me.

iknowimcoming · 25/03/2021 18:51

@Hotelhelp - can you suggest any particular Facebook groups please? I was diagnosed 1 year ago and I'm 50 and it would be great to be able to feel 'amongst my tribe' as most people either don't know I'm adhd or don't really understand Sad TIA

Also I'm happy to share my experience if it's helpful?

PuzzledObserver · 25/03/2021 22:38

@iknowimcoming search for UK Women With ADHD on Facebook. It does exactly what it says on the tin!

ThatOtherPoster · 25/03/2021 22:51

I relate do much to all these posts, especially about friendships. I’m lovely in person, but have lost LOADS of friends because I don’t phone them, lose their address so can’t send birthday or Christmas cards, don’t turn up to things, etc.

It’s got to the stage where I’m reluctant to start anything new - job, club, friendship, hobby - because I know I’ll let everyone down at some point.

One thing: did your mum smoke when she was pregnant with you? I’ve heard there’s a link. My mum did with me.

Bythemillpond · 25/03/2021 23:32

My mother is definitely not a smoker but I think if my family had got tested all bar one of them on my mother’s side would have been diagnosed with ADHD.

I know in my mother’s case they diagnosed bipolar but said she didn’t fit with the full bipolar diagnosis but it was the closest mental illness that they could give.

I have looked at ADHD and bipolar as when I was talking in the initial assessment bipolar was mentioned and it seems there is a connection and one can be mistaken for the other.
ADHD wasn’t a thing at the time.
Just to say when I was growing up we moved 26 times before I was 16. My mother would chop and change jobs. She would go on and off benefits and she opened and closed multiple businesses yet we didn’t have a penny to spare and money was very very tight.
One of my aunties led an equally precarious life with children by different fathers, moving her latest bf in for a couple of weeks and then dumping them for the next, always in court for petty stuff
The more I read about ADHD the more I see it in my family

iknowimcoming · 27/03/2021 12:05

@PuzzledObserver - I requested to join on Thursday but no luck so far, I've a feeling I've tried to join before and not been successful - maybe they don't like the look of me Grin

Bythemillpond · 27/03/2021 12:35

Same here. Don’t like groups that do this as they never get back to you.

PuzzledObserver · 27/03/2021 12:44

Did you answer the questions? Would you like me to ask admin if there’s a specific issue? PM me on here if you want.

Bythemillpond · 27/03/2021 12:47

What questions?

iknowimcoming · 27/03/2021 14:58

@PuzzledObserver - I've pm'd you thanks Smile

PuzzledObserver · 27/03/2021 16:40

@Bythemillpond when you ask to join the group there are some questions you have to answer, and if you don't they won't accept you. It's something like do you live in the UK, agree to abide by the group rules and do you have or think you have ADHD. It's a common feature, and I assume it's to disrupt fake accounts or bots from spamming the group.

KnottyKnitting · 27/03/2021 16:50

My DD was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 years ago aged 22. Her GP referred her to the mental health service at our local hospital. She had an initial consultation followed by an assessment and was diagnosed with both ADHD and dyspraxia within about 4 months or so. I must say I was surprised it happened so quickly (or even at all) judging by the experiences that other people have had.

Bythemillpond · 27/03/2021 16:51

Must of missed the questions. All it says is my invite is still pending. No idea where or how to answer the questions now.

SidSparrow · 27/03/2021 16:57

I half suspect I have ADD. I persisted with my doctor and got a referral to a psychiatrist who was on the fence about committing to a diagnosis, mainly because I have no adults from my childhood who could give insight to my behaviour as a child. In the end he gave me medication and also mentioned that most people with ADHD tend to abuse it. Anyway on a night out I abused it. Back at the psychiatrist he took the medication off me and told me to go away and practice mindfulness. It was a very disheartening experience. Hopefully you are treated much better.

Bythemillpond · 27/03/2021 17:00

KnottyKnitting we got told that it would take years. We can’t afford the private assessment so stuck with the NHS one.
Dd had her initial assessment then had to fill out forms and then has another assessment in a few weeks. Total time about 4 months.
Interested to see if dd gets a diagnosis as she is exactly the same as my mother and a lot of my estranged family. A lot of anger issues but incredibly hard working if doing different things everyday.
I otoh have absolutely no concentration unless something takes my fancy, lose everything, can’t follow simple instructions and can’t hold down a job. The latest job I left after 3 days because I could feel the depression setting in.

SidSparrow · 27/03/2021 17:23

I'm conscious that this thread will die quick because we all got distracted Confused