Would any one like to join in an anxiety support thread?

[Heatherandmoss]

I’ve seen lots of posts recently about people having a bad time with their anxiety and I thought an on going thread might be good do people can bob on and offer and receive support, share tips and just generally empathise with some one going through the same thing.

I’ve had anxiety since I was about ten ( I realised after my psychiatrist was able to help me pin point my earliest memory of it)

I think there is a bit of misconception of anxiety as some people think it’s just general worry - but it’s not.

When my anxiety rears her head it’s so physical. I sweat, my face can go numb, pains in my chest. I have a feeling like some one is kicking my front door in and I’m scared for my life and I could just be hoovering. Anxiety jolts me awake when I’m asleep and it rolls down my body like thunder. It makes me catastrophize at 3am and my feet start rubbing against each other ( weird) My anxiety makes me walk in to the kitchen with my kids empty dinner plates and suddenly feel so so over whelmed I struggle for breath and tears leak out in a gasp of raw emotion - all done silently so my kids can’t hear me.

I’ve had to give up drinking alcohol because Jesus the anxiety the next day was shocking and lasted days until I suddenly stepped out the anxiety room.

My anxiety has been bad since November as I’ve got some things going and I’m worried my heart is going to pack in because of the extra ‘thud thud thud’ overtime it’s being doing!

Exercise does help me take the edge of sometimes. I nearly went to the GP the other day as it was rotten but at this moment of time I need to be switched on.

Today has not been to bad. I’m considering it a win.

So I’ve you’d like to join in or have some where to say ‘holy fuck it’s bad today’ hopefully more people will be here and you will know some one knows how bad your feeling.

I’m really trying to channel my therapist’s advice of holding my anxiety while I do something. I’m getting better at it.

Feeling really headachy and sick this evening but now the youngest is asleep and DS is off to bed I am determined to get the damn pip form underway properly.

sing can you tell me more about 'holding your anxiety while you do something' please. Sounds interesting.
I'm pleased that I feel quite tired, instead of just wired and jittery. Really hoping that means I'll get some decent sleep

Hiya, I did manage to get some sleep last night but I’m very tired today. I need to call the docs in the morning, I went to collect my prescription yesterday and they said it wasn’t on repeat so I need to ask GP to put it on repeat and also need an emergency prescription as I’ve been without sertraline for 2 days now. I’ve not done much today, it was sunny earlier so I took DD to the park, I also ordered some wall stickers for the kids bedroom. I think I’m going to get some sleep now!.

WL sorry you didn’t get much sleep last night either💐 Good luck with your DD’s autism assessment!

loki that sounds like a good plan, I find I get very strict with myself when I want to change and then end up burnt out and procrastinate for about 6 months after!. Hopefully this time it works for you, I’m trying to be healthier too, I’m a healthy weight but I know I don’t eat or drink as much good stuff as I should, I might create a meal plan.

sing I completely understand feeling guilty about parenting. I work myself up so much that I’m not doing everything right for DD and then that ends up making me feel even worse. I hope your 3 year old allows you to sleep better tonight.

I’m hoping to get up early and be productive tomorrow too annabel I have a lot of course work to catch up on!

Morning everyone. Hope everyone had a decent night?
I slept quite well but woke early (5ish) feeling panicky and intense anxiety belly. I'm feeling quite sick at the moment but trying to drink a tea

Also been waking up early WL didn’t have to be up for a little while longer! Though I did go to bed later than usual so I’m absolutely exhausted

Hi all. I lost this thread and only just found you. Finding it hard to catch up which is making me feel stressed.
Hope you are all ok though

Hi again wild 💐
I had a relative lie in today - 7.54! Sorry about the early starts, it really makes the day drag.

Pleased I got the bulk of the PIP renewal form done last night, I got so tired and a bit tearful due to being in pain but I wanted to get the main 12 questions done. Woke up with a creeping feeling of dread about finishing it (especially as this involves thinking about dates and evidence letters etc which really stresses me out) but accomplished as I know most of the work is done.

Bad feeling in the house anyway as DD1 is angry she can’t go to school - we are self isolating due to DD2’s symptoms and as the test result isn’t back yet we aren’t sure if the negative LFT is enough for her to go back today. School aren’t answering.

WL re the holding anxiety. The psychologist I see privately (💸😭 but she’s brilliant and worth it, I wish I could afford to see her more often) mainly works with a therapy model called Acceptance Commitment Therapy. We don’t talk about reducing symptoms as an aim (which puts a lot of people off, it’s very different to stuff like CBT). The idea is you observe your thoughts instead of pushing them away with distraction or trying to reason with yourself about them. Understanding the recurring thoughts you have and how they affect your behaviour and emotions but not trying to fight against them. Humans have thoughts and feelings, they aren’t wrong! Some just have more than others. You can then sort of detach yourself from them a bit.

It’s mindfulness related which also puts people off but honestly it’s been a valuable approach for me. I feel a lot more validated and accepted. She’s excellent with trauma etc too so we’ve traced those recurring thoughts back to what caused them etc.

So the holding anxiety bit - I basically don’t waste time trying to fight the anxiety about something. Fighting against it doesn’t work for me. I’m extremely logical and analytical, have great self insight etc (psychologist’s words not mine!) but no matter how much looking at evidence etc I do it doesn’t stop the fact that I will still be convinced the unlikely worst case scenario will be the one that happens and I need to be prepared by convincing myself it will . Incidentally CBT is often less successful for autistic people/people with ADHD.

Anyway the radical-but-actually-pretty-mundane idea is that I just let myself be anxious about Doing The Thing instead. I no longer tell myself off for the anxiety. I observe and understand it in a detached, objective sort of way (like a scientist would) and it’s like it’s just there next to me. I can keep an eye on the thoughts/feelings while I Do The Thing rather than wasting energy trying to eliminate them when realistically that’s not going to happen. I don’t get so annoyed at myself for having to do things slowly because I’ve accepted the anxiety makes it difficult (eg the other day all I did was dig out the previous PIP report, I wasn’t ready for more than that, but in the past I wouldn’t have even managed that).

Sorry that was a lot of waffle. It’s not a perfect fix but I guess that’s the point really, it’s about accepting who we are and moving forward with it. In a way it’s like the whole “feel the fear and do it anyway” but framed in a much more sympathetic way that really recognises how much anxiety can consume us. I’ve often felt that anyone who could simply FTFADIA hasn’t really had the experience of completely overwhelming constant anxiety!

Thanks sing that makes sense. Acceptance was a game changer for me too.

I had a good phone call with dr who has prescribed me some propranolol to try and get over this short term hump. He did suggest citalopram but I’m not so keen on longer term, or anything that I have to survive through the side effects before seeing any benefit. It was so awful when I tried sertraline and the initial side effects made me feel so much worse.

I'm hopefully that with a bit of support for this bad patch, I'll be able to go back to the healthy things I do to manage myself.

Dr is going phone again in 3 weeks for a review. It looks like a small dose - 10mg tablets, to take one or two, up to 3 times a day. The patient info leaflet suggests a higher dose but I'm sure it's good to start lower and build up if I need to.

Hi WLmum - glad your appointment went well. I know what you mean about the side effects of Sertraline.

Hi Wild - glad you found your way back.
Hope you have managed to catch up.

Hi Sing - glad to hear that you've done most of the PIP form. The counselling you do sounds really good. Sorry you're self isolating. It's rubbish, isn't it.

Hi Tea, sorry about your early starts. It's a pain, isn't it. Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight.

I went to bed later than normal yesterday. I watched Rich House Poor house. It comes on at 9.00PM. Wouldn't normally watch something at that time on a work night but I love this programme. I still woke up half an hour before I needed to.

Day 3 of detox. I've been getting headaches on and off since yesterday evening. Feels strange not having my tea in the morning.

It was also odd yesterday when I finally managed to do a walk. I would normally reward myself with a brew and a sweet treat. I ended up doing fruit kebabs for me and my DD. She's happy that she gets to eat all the biscuits in the cupboard.

When I did my food shopping yesterday, I remembered one of the reasons why I didn't last long last time I did the detox. I spent so much more than normal. Apart from some seeds and brown rice, it was all fresh food. So it's not even possible to spend less next week.

Thankfully we got the negative covid result this morning. PIP form completely done, just rewarded myself with watching line of duty!

Sertraline is a tough one! I found paroxetine awful too, and coming off especially - the brain zaps! 😱

I was given escitalopram a few weeks ago but then because my Elvanse was increased I didn’t want to risk it (low doses are safer to combine re serotonin syndrome). And the higher Elvanse does seem to have helped with the anxiety. It’s definitely still there though (in a physical sense rather than mental health wise IYSWIM) so I’m not sure.

Hi everyone...I have just recently seen my GP and she diagnosed anxiety and low mood. I’m really struggling in the morning- feel sick and tearful, overwhelmed and generally sad. GP recommends combo of counseling, prescription medication and time off work.... i saw counsellor through work last week and it felt ‘good’ to talk. Not sure re medication but desperate to feel better. I’m a teacher so find trying to be cheerful and ‘on it’ for my pupils really really hard.... feel so responsible for them so trying to hang on until Easter fortnight rather than taking time off now- but finding it really hard. If anyone has suggestions of things they’ve found help them get through a tricky time I’d be really grateful.

Well done Sing 👍.That form has been tormenting you for a while.

Certainly has! Well, about ten days since it arrived, but it’s dragged and weighed very heavily on me.

DH just had his covid jab so I’m hoping he won’t have side effects!

I’m having a restful evening and now that I have done the admin stuff I can enjoy it a bit more rather than feeling guilty.

Well done on the form sing! And welcome to all newcomers

Hi mummywith2kids, sorry to hear that you are struggling. Working in schools is stressful, even without MH. I work in a school as a TA. I also got counselling through work. They offered me 6 sessions. Glad you found it useful to talk to a counsellor. Do you have colleagues that you can talk to? Some of my lovely colleagues really helped me, just by showing that they cared.

At the moment I am doing Pick Up Lime meditation and a sugar detox. I couldn't have done this a few weeks ago when I was at my worst. I just needed time to slow down and heal.

Lokikitty Thank you for your message. I’m lucky to have a really supportive Hod, and some lovely colleagues... which definitely helps. I’ve not really said how I’m feeling but they know I’m not myself and have asked if I’m ok etc Just don’t feel like I can ‘lean’ on any friends/family in the way I would normally as can’t see family (live out with my council area) and my friends have all got ‘stuff’ going on themselves so don’t want to add to their burden. Will have a look at mediation you mentioned and sugar detox once on holiday. Thanks again- it helps not to feel alone with this.

Hi guys, I’ve had another anxious day but have been quite productive to counteract it. I gave my flat a quick clean this morning and aired it out, I wrote up some notes from my coursework and called the GP to reorder my prescription. I’ve also set it up so they’re just delivered which hopefully will be easier.

WL I find rich tea biscuits easy to stomach when I have anxiety belly, maybe they could help for you. I hope the propranolol works well for you, I didn’t like citalopram but propranolol worked well for me.

I feel exhausted too tea I could probably sleep all day and still be tired. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

Hi wild☺️

Well done in doing the PIP form sing! and I hope your DH doesn’t have any bad side effects from the vaccination. My family group chat is full of family members getting/already had the vaccine it makes me so happy.

Loki I also love rich house poor house, it makes me cry!. I struggle with fresh food as well, it costs so much!

Hi mummywithtwokids, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling💐 medication helped a lot for me, I’ve been on medication since I was 15 on and off and it helps even if it’s just to take the edge off a little bit. I’d definitely open up to your colleagues, I know it can be difficult but I’ve always found that once I open up and plans are put in place to help me I feel much better.

DD is in bed and I’m watching married at first sight Australia, hopefully I’ll have an early night tonight.

Thanks rainy I find my mouth is also very dry when I'm feeling very anxious which also makes it hard to eat. I drink ovaltine sometimes as a bit of a meal replacement.
How much propanalol do you take? I've had 2 x 10mg tablets today and not sure that it's helped yet. I'll take another one when I go to bed. I do feel quite tired so I'm hopefully of a decent sleep.

loki what made you suspect you had autism? If you don't mind me asking so many questions! Tell me if you do and I'll stop I have wondered about dd on and off. I don't think I'm autistic but have always had anxiety and do remember having the extremes of feelings she has, when I was a child

WLmum, ask as many questions as you like. I really don't mind. I was doing CBT counselling and it wasn't working for me at all. It was making me worse. I was given homework around what stops me from making friends. It's something that I've always struggled with from a young age. I feel disconnected from people, even my own family. I struggle to communicate. I can put my point across easier when writing. Possibly because there's less distractions and I don't feel put on the spot.

I discussed all this with my counsellor and told him that I've suspected for a while that I am autistic. He agreed straight away and said that the things I've been saying now make sense. For example my misophonia and always having anxiety in the background He referred for autism in December.

He also said that because autistic traits in females are different, they often get misdiagnosed with depression.

Hope this makes sense.

Can i join in? I'm having a sh*t time of it with anxiety these last couple weeks having been fine for a while. I've lost my appetite and am struggling to concentrate on work and on my kids. I've been on AD's for a while and wondering whether there is a hormonal side to this as i'm 45 and my periods are a bit wonky too.

but maybe i'm clutching at straws as i can't believe that hormones could make a person feel this mentally unwell. ugh it's horrid.

Hi may 💐 sorry you feel crap. Hormones apparently can really fuck things up around that age, doesn’t make it any less horrible though :(

WL I posted on here asking what the hell was wrong with me, must be about 10 years ago now. It was just a silly faux pas that had pushed me over the edge into absolutely hating myself and how I always fucked up everything. A few people mentioned autism and oddly it didn’t surprise me, it was more like “ohhh yep. That’s it”. Diagnosed a few years later. I didn’t realise about the adhd until about 3 years ago, diagnosed late 2019. But even now I end up reading about different traits and symptoms I’d not recognised in myself before and it’s like I just gradually understand myself a bit better each time.

There’s a nice thread going on the mumsnetters with SN board for autistic/adhd adults btw.

I’m feeling drained today but it was nice not to wake up to instant dread with the “you STILL haven’t done that form”. Obv I’m still anxious about the result but hopefully I can forget about it for a while.

DH is wiped out today from his covid jab so am allowing myself to have a chilled day with low expectations.

Sorry I've been MIA .
Had the vaccine Sat and felt dreadful since so anxiety had been sky high and felt v low.
Bit better today and had half an hour pottering in the garden and got the slowcooker on for dinner so that's a big improvement.
Hi to all the newbies I feel a bit too behind to comment properly but hope today is a good day for you all.
Loki thanks for sharing your journey to being diagnosed with autism. Very interesting xx