The meeting I have been dreading finally happened this morning. All the different people involved in my care in one room, with me and dh, to discuss what to do with me next.
I expected to be humiliated. But I wasnt. But the meeting was so ineffectual that I left wondering what the hell it was all about. Basically everyon talked a bit about how they see me and my illness. And my consultant asked 'how I was'. I told the truth (which was pretty frank and honest, ie no different from before my breakdown a few months ago).
Then before I knew it, the meeting ended and nothing has changed.
I have spent the day drifting about. I spent 2 hours walking in the park. My suicidal ideations are stronger than ever. I feel such a hopeless, helpless case and that they cant even organise a care plan to suit me.
I dont know why I writing all this. I will probably be cross questioned. But I suppose I wanted to get it off my chest and no one was online on msn.