Meeting to discuss my 'care plan' was cr@p

[PhoenixSoaring]

The meeting I have been dreading finally happened this morning. All the different people involved in my care in one room, with me and dh, to discuss what to do with me next.

I expected to be humiliated. But I wasnt. But the meeting was so ineffectual that I left wondering what the hell it was all about. Basically everyon talked a bit about how they see me and my illness. And my consultant asked 'how I was'. I told the truth (which was pretty frank and honest, ie no different from before my breakdown a few months ago).

Then before I knew it, the meeting ended and nothing has changed.

I have spent the day drifting about. I spent 2 hours walking in the park. My suicidal ideations are stronger than ever. I feel such a hopeless, helpless case and that they cant even organise a care plan to suit me.

I dont know why I writing all this. I will probably be cross questioned. But I suppose I wanted to get it off my chest and no one was online on msn.

Crikey, I knew you struggled with alcohol but I had no idea you were struggling with so much other stuff.

(((((((((((((0)))))))))))))))))

Know it doesn't really help, but not sure what to say. You will have to push really hard with your "care" group and hope someone comes up with something helpful.

sorry dressedup I dont know your story - want to share?

cargirl - you have not offended. (But my care is all private. the NHS dismissed me a looong while ago....)

6pm time for a glass of wine

ime if you have an acitve drink problem then it is a barrier when it comes to mental health problems...it is the first problem to deal with as little can be offered/done until you start to make headway with that one so i would try to concentrate on that first

when is yr next gp appt or cons appt ?

STEP AWAY FROM THE WINE.........

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Is there someone who comes out to see you regularly, and what does your DH think you should do, is he supporting you at all or is he still a bit involved with his troubles (not that he shouldn't be)

i had antenatal depresasion and anxiety and tokophobia i was absolutely petrified of giving birth was granted a c section on the basis of my fear

ended up in labour early labaoured naturally for three days ended up having a csection in the end

bf til my lo was 10 months and lost the plot suffered with extreme anxiety and recently depression

my cpn was so good it was unreal my consultant i never saw jst a stream of registrars

SP - no NHS help, that absolutely sucks. so you go to your GP say you're an alcoholic and want help and you get nothing, not a referral? That is so bad!

I second choosing your battle and probably alcohol is the one to start with because that in itself is a depresset. Have you found/joined AA or something like that?

I was dry for nearly 4 months. I only recently started drining again.

{{{{dressedup}}}}

Phoenix - who is your care co-ordinator/key worker? Do you feel you could talk to them tomorrow about how you felt the meeting went? Write things down so you don't forget.
It's terrible in this day and age that people are left feeling as though their care plan is all about what other people think and not what you feel and think.
I don't know your story, but I work with people on care plans and sadly, your experience is not unusual.. Makes me so cross.

i agree pour the wine away its not going to help are you on ad's at all coz thats not going to help either
thankx for the hugs but i think you need them more

and four months is huge

cargirl - the reason we had to go private was because the NHS wouldnt take me seriously

its a disgrace that you are recieving such care whether private or nhs its disgusting

Love to you Phoenix

well in that case you can do it..

it really is the only way

nothing else works otherwise and as you find drink locks doors..although it's a problem itself it is like a wall between you and everything else

a bad wall

I dont have a key worker

I am on various meds - all of which advise agfainst alcohol

Right now I couldnt care less.

But I am not drinking yet. But in a minute I need to go and cook for dh when he gets home later. (I am not eating today. Having one of my not eating days)

tbh if you drink you might as well not bother with medication

it can only come from you in the end

if you aren't inclined to give up drinking then that is a choice you have made

you have to work on changing that choice and it is hard work

you know that

you have strength, you have free will, you have to make the move..no one can do it for you and no one can keep telling you what to do...it's only you can do it

Phoenix, wishing you strength, luck, love and light x

I stopped drinking for nearly 4 months. I have stopped and started self harming but generally lately I have been stopped. I feel as though I have towed the line and been a good girl and got no where that I may as well go back to my old copingh strategies.

I feel like they have washed their hands off me - so why should nt I do something I enjoy (drinking)?

well bottom line is that it is more important for you to stop for you than for anyone else

if you don't get on with mental health provision then the only alternative is to be independent and do it for yourself

which is the only way anyway

a lot of mental health services are designed as holding positions

even being an in patient isn't a cure/rehabilitsation that is your job

you can't expect or even hope anyone else will do it

i'm a cynic but knowing it's your own problem and taking ownership of it is a strategy which is in your control

so you can choose to drink..but if youn do then understand it's your choice and not something which is necessarily going to make anyone come to your aid

i'll go away now..good luck and take care

I fear this is what I face so why do as your supposed to. Coping strategies of one's own might be shit but at least they work for a time.

Sorry, not supposed to be supporting self harm but I can't help but sympathise.

I'm taking fluoxetine again now - not to get better but to lose weight because I lose my appetite. I don't care about about the seratonin part - how f*cked up is that~?

you dont have to go away. I am interested in your posts.

I know I need to take ownership of my problems, and I think I have done that over the past few years. I had tried so many avenues before the crash this summer.

The trouble is, I am in so much pain (mentally) and I know how to relieve that pain (by diverting it by cutting, or starving or getting drunk) that sometimes the temptation is too great

Well they definately cannot help you if you don't help yourself first by not doing the things that cause you harm. Tho I have some inkling of how hard it must be to stop. Does it not put you off knowing that you have worked so hard to stop and detox and that if you start again then you are right back to the beginning.
I know it doesn't feel like you are geting anywhere, but as someone said, a few mths is a very short time for this kind of healing and you ARE actually getting somewhere. You aren't drinking or self harming and that somewhere is a good place to be. It is very far from the place you are in while you are doing it.

Does drinking actually stop the pain tho PS, or does it just make you wallow in it even more. I am a terrible drunk and wallow horribly if I'm in that sort of mood.

Ca y ou use the coping strategies as a way of getting the kind of constructive help that you need. Your coping methods work, in a way, but create problems of their own, can't they help by teaching you different coping methods??