Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

I'm going to do it today, I have a good feeling! Good luck anyone else trying to no poke!

🤞🏼🤞🏼💪🏻💪🏻

@Skyliner001 I'm with you today! I need to let my neck recover it's sore from yesterday. Doc thinks I have sinusitis as my nose and face throbbing and she's given me a nasal spray so I'm hoping once that subsides the lymph node will go down. Hers hoping! And no poking in the meantime. I was literally obsessed with it yesterday and couldn't think about anything else!

@MakingASilkPurse oh my, yes being married to a GP would be so handy, wish I'd done that, could have saved myself a lot of time. Though I probably still wouldn't believe him!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 hope you had a decent birthday

Well my GP was very reassuring today and also put me back on my psych meds. My urine test today was clear, which he says is a very good sign because it hasn't been clear up until this new course of antibiotics and my ultrasound showed no abnormalities. He also reassured me on how unlikely it was to be anything else given that all my symptoms have been urinary.

So feeling a bit better and hoping the fatigue settles a bit so I can get back to work asap.

Good news @amblonyxx hope you can get some peace and some rest today.

Goodluck @chorusline79 😀

@Skyliner001 we will check in later!! 👍😁

Afternoon all.
Happy belated birthday @onlyreadingneverposting8

I went through a cervix phase before Christmas. I was having a poke and found what I was convinced was a ginormous lump but as it wasn't there when I poked from standing up I decided it must have been some sort of pelvic bone. If you're looking for your cervix I remember the university doctor saying it felt like the end of your nose when you get to it!

DD and I had a conversation about male gynaecologists and she was repulsed that a man would want to be one. I pointed out it must be harder on his wife who probably thinks he's weighing and measuring and testing the air pressure in the manner of some mechanic doing an MoT whenever they do the deed.

Well ladies, I’ve moved on from breasts to join you @Skyliner001 in the cervical panic! I’ve decided that the nabothian cyst I’ve got has grown or might not be one after all! It was there at my last smear 2 years ago, nurse mentioned it in passing as a spot, it’s yellow, firm but not solid and perfectly smooth so fits every description of a cervical cyst, it hasn’t bothered me for ages but I have a prolapsed bladder and bowel so whilst rearranging a bit this morning I noticed it again and that’s it...spent most of the morning googling them again! It has got a bit bigger than when I went for my smear but apparently they can be quite large and this one is still probably less than 5mm.

Once again googling has been my downfall, I read about a very rare mucus producing cervical cancer and am now worried about that. Apparently this type is very aggressive though so surely I would have had more symptoms since it was noticed at my smear.

I hope those of you managing a poke free day have a better day than me! Good luck to you all!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 happy belated birthday!!

How’s everyone doing? I’m relatively anxiety free again today I haven’t googled symptoms for a good few days now and not felt a need to either, felt my lymph nodes about an hour ago and didn’t really feel any form of panic, first time today and haven’t done it since so I’m hoping things are starting to change for me x

Afternoon! I'm having a panic about the baby today. She's almost 11 weeks and is having a sleepy settled day and I'm panicking. It's unlike me tbh - I'm usually good at not panicking about the kids but...well I've taken her temperature and that's normal, she's feeding ok (less than yesterday but she fed more than usual yesterday!) , she's not got any symptoms and when awake she's alert and happy. And still I'm anxious!

Aww @MrsWhites it is a cyst - you know it's the cyst. When is your next smear due? It'll get checked then won't it? Hate it when you know you have something and yet you still do the googling & doubt yourself!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 thank you. I’m trying to stay away from google now and remind myself that aggressive cancers have symptoms and I don’t have any of them. Like you say, it’s horrible once you go down the google rabbit hole, it’s hard to see reason!

Try not to worry about the baby, she’s probably just starting to teeth at that age or maybe a bit of a growing spurt, mine always used to sleep a lot during those phases!

@MrsWhites Sorry that you have to come to join us on the cervix, but glad you have moved away from the breast. It's quite fascinating the way we can move from one thing to another, very strange! But at least we are all in the same boat.

I've had a really good day.

I did a meditation on my Calm app yesterday which talked about not reacting to negative thoughts. M

Instead of trying to hold them back, you look at them really calmly acknowledge them, and let them float away.

I know that sounds incredibly wishy-washy, and even as I'm typing it I know it won't always work for me.

But it got me to thinking about how I'm used to the path on which I go after a negative thought.

So it goes negative thought - negative action (That action can be examination, can just be going over and over the thought in my head, or googling) The action brings about some short-term relief, and the negative thought defuses for a limited time. Sometimes as little as three or four seconds… i'm addicted to the pattern of getting that short-term relief.

So I've tried to look at the thought, and not follow through with the action. It was incredibly difficult this morning, but actually as the days gone on it has got easier, so I need to really commit myself to trying to break the habit.

I've managed not to poke at all today, which is a massive bonus, I have to go through the triggers of a bath, And getting undressed, and lying down!

But still I don't think I've done too badly. Certainly a whole lot better than the last couple of days…

Hope you are all doing better too!

@Skyliner001 that’s brilliant, glad you have had a good day! I tried something similar when I was lying in bed overthinking one night this week, after about 5 min I couldn’t even remember what the horrible thought was about!

I must remember to try to do that more often, I need to remind myself that negative responses will make negative thoughts worse. For me it’s about breaking the chain of checks and poking, once I’ve gone a day it’s easier to stop. Until the next thought comes along of course!

@tmh88 glad to hear you are doing so well! Really hope it continues for you! x

@MrsWhites Yes, it's about breaking that cycle isn't it? It's also strange and confusing. I think we are all making good progress though!

@Skyliner001 your post is really interesting and definitely resonates - Thankyou for sharing that, v helpful.

Sorry everyone, fell asleep so early in ds toddler bed and I’ve just woken up now wide awake and feeling like I need to stretch from the uncomfortable position of half in the bed half on the floor I woke up in to answer a few @MrsWhites @Skyliner001 I wish I could help with what’s normal cervix wise haha but if I’m honest I’ve never checked, so I have absolutely no clue if there is any lumps/bumps up there! I’m sure yours will both be normal but never nice when a new worry comes along and dr Google makes it sound as if you have until next Tuesday live! Sorry I can’t help more

@MakingASilkPurse a friend told me about them who had used them also, they don’t get anxiety anymore so I’m hopeful it’ll help! Burst out laughing at wishing you married a gp, I have felt the exact same these past few months!

If it helps anyone I have had lymph nodes up in my neck which I noticed in September, when I saw my therapist today they very calmly and logically explained “so you’ve had lumps in your neck for nearly 5 months now, maybe longer and you just hadn’t noticed, you’ve had bloods and a scan all normal. do you not think they would of grown or you would of had another symptom of something serious by now” when put like it really eased my mind!

Thanks @chorusline79 how did you get on yesterday?

Isn't it interesting that sometimes when somebody says something really calmly it actually does resonate.

I find that when I am in a spin I lose all sense of reason. I don't think about things in detail, I just fixate on the thing that I'm looking at at that point if that makes sense.

For example if I saw a scratch on my breast, despite the fact that the dog jumps on me regularly, I would go into a breast-cancer spin, without a doubt. Even though logically it is a scratch on my breast, and the dog has done it.But I lose sight Of what has happened before, and what is logical.

I'm continuing with the meditation, yesterday the subject was "noting", so when a bad thought arrives you note the feeling that it gives you, as opposed to acting on it in a different way.

So if I had one of my thoughts about needing to check a lymph-node, I would note "fear". But I would also note that the fear comes from catastrophising something which has not happened, and it's very unlikely to do so.

Apparently it's all linked to try to trying to be in control, I'll keep sharing what I learn here.

Good luck today everyone. I'm going to try and have a good weekend!

@Skyliner001 I struggle to think logically once the fear sets in too, nothing is ever just a scratch, just a spot. I never see that it’s probably normal, I only ever see the potential to be something awful. It’s scary how quickly my brain jumps there too.

@tmh88 what your councillor said really makes sense, I’ve been trying to think along those lines about this cyst that’s bothering me - it’s been there for quite a longtime and although it’s grown slightly in this time it hasn’t produced any other symptoms.

I hope you managed to get back to sleep!

I’m due on my period in a few days so this is always a bad week for my anxiety. Dreading the weekend already, just having less to do seems to be a trigger for me - too much time to think!

Hey ladies I really need someone to help me get some perspective please. So I’ve been stressing recently due to pain in my ribs, as it’s on the left I was stressing about my breast and then my heart... now I don’t know where it’s come from but I’ve got bone cancer stuck in my head since last night. I feel paralysed with fear. I’ve called the surgery and going in to see the gp now

Hi @Goolies take some deep breaths. What time is your appointment?
Bone cancer would be very rare and highly unlikely, and there's most likely a simple explanation for the pain. Try and stay calm and sending love and positive thoughts to you.

@Skyliner001 I managed not to poke my neck (mostly!) but I'm really struggling in general. I'm obsessed as I know it's there and I am feeling pressure and pain in my neck now which I know could be anxiety.
I do feel better that I have the sinus spray and have mentioned lymph node to Dr now, so I will give it another week or so and will get it checked if it's still feeling enlarged. So at least I have a plan!

My friend who is being diagnosed currently with breast cancer called me yesterday and that set me off. My poor friend has been treated horribly by consultant who tried to blame her high dairy diet and told her she's not young (46)

When I got off the phone I checked my breasts for about 10 minutes and probably too hard as they were sore after. It's like I don't trust myself to do it properly as well, as I'm convinced I will miss something and it will be my fault. Does anyone else have this?
I also feel guilty and horrible that my friend is actually going through this and I'm supporting her but then I'm worrying about myself - makes me feel like a self centred awful person. I just can't shake it at the moment and feeling so very low. This rollercoaster of HA is exhausting isn't it?

I hope everyone else is doing better. I feel for you all.

Hi @Goolies I agree, take some deep breath's, and remember that you have a symptom, but you are catastrophising what that symptom means. Bone cancer would be incredibly rare there, I'm not sure I've ever read any examples of bone cancer there.

I get the pain under my left ribs as well, and in my left ribs, and under my left breast. I don't know why I get it more on the left hand side, but I am being absolutely honest with you that I also experience the same thing.

It does come and go, and I have been stressed about it in the past.

We are all here with you, and we understand how you feel.

@chorusline79 there is nothing wrong in the fact that you're sorry for your friend going through this, is also making you think about your own health. You don't need to feel bad about that at all, it's a completely understandable part of health anxiety. In the same way that we can't read an article, or watch a television programme or have a conversation about something related to health without thinking about our own health.

Sorry to hear that you are still stressed out about the lymph-node, lymph-node anxiety is such a big thing, I think the only reason that I am, about that is because I have had lymphoma and know what lymphoma notes feel like. Having said that I still got overtaken by the one above my collarbone, which weirdly now I've moved on from it feel smaller.

I just examined my cervix on the floor of my office.Thank goodness I am at home. Just trying to focus now back on work 😳😳