This is a pointless life

[inuet]

No enjoyment, no socialising, FB groups full of Coronaqueens telling people to "stay safe" and "it's ok to.find it hard, it is hard".
British government and the Daily Mail brigade utterly useless and now celebrating end of freedom of movement. Months more of not being able to do anything just getting more and more pissed off. My local community has turned into a vipers nest of curtain twitchers and sanctimonious busybodies. The longer this goes on the more life lost and the more pointless it seems carrying on when life is just an endless load of crap.

Anyone who posts about resilience, gratitude or positivity is ignored by the OP, as she thinks it’s a load of “drivel” (her words

Yes. There is no answer to the question 'What are you doing to make yourself feel better', which suggests a total rejection of responsibility. Which in turn suggests the very naive view that it is up to the world to provide you with things to make you happy. OP seems to enjoy misery, and to enjoy shooting down other people when they're suggesting ways to be happier. Looks a lot like bitterness to me.

Agreed. If you truly feel life is utterly pointless and you are not just using overly dramatic language, then you are either:

A) clinically depressed

B) lacking in gratitude/resilience/
basic emotional tools to at least attempt to feel better.

OP, if it’s A, I hope you get the help you need.
If it’s B, you need to at least try to take some responsibility for your outlook on life. We have all agreed life is pretty shit for a lot of people right now but that doesn’t mean it has to be pointless.

Yeah it's a bit crap but it would be even more crap for the NHS to crumble under the strain of an un-checked virus. Are you suggesting there is an alternative or do you just like moaning?

Personally I'm missing people too, but I'm grateful I still have those people in my life to miss.

O. P I totally understand. And I see your fallows humour stating that you miss travel and this is seen as akin to endorsing child abuse by some.
I get it. I cannot offer platitudes. It is crap, there's no hiding. I hope you get to go travelling again sooner rather than later.
For some folk: The weakest response as a collective is to tear each other down. Stop making it easier for us to be controlled.

Gallows 😉

@Eckhart

You sound quite bitter, and determined to stay so, and perfectly ready to pass your bitterness on to make other people feel rubbish.

What do you want people to say? 'Yes, life is pointless, you're absolutely right.'

People who agree with you are bitter just like you. You can choose to be bitter or not, it's your responsibility. If you can't do stuff you used to enjoy, find something else to enjoy. Even if you never move from one room (there are people who have disabilities whose whole life was already like this and will be for their ever) there are things to see and do and learn, people to talk to, work to be done etc.

The world hasn't stopped. The world is doing things differently.

Engage.

Totally agree.

It will pass.

However knowing this doesn't stop me having days where I just can't be bothered.

I think the going out for exercise and building healthy habits advice comes from a good place.

Not RTFT - yes it's shit, seems endless sometimes and Ive almost forgotten that but of freedom we had in the summer. However, no need to rip the positive people:comments to threads. They aren't saying it's not shit, they're just suggesting ways to make things more bearable, or even enjoyable. And who doesn't need a bit of hope right now?

*You sound quite bitter, and determined to stay so, and perfectly ready to pass your bitterness on to make other people feel rubbish.

What do you want people to say? 'Yes, life is pointless, you're absolutely right.'

People who agree with you are bitter just like you. You can choose to be bitter or not, it's your responsibility. If you can't do stuff you used to enjoy, find something else to enjoy. Even if you never move from one room (there are people who have disabilities whose whole life was already like this and will be for their ever) there are things to see and do and learn, people to talk to, work to be done etc.

The world hasn't stopped. The world is doing things differently.

Engage.*

Love this @Eckhart

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Bet NHS workers and people who’ve lost loved ones wouldn’t like this thread.

It’s shit for everyone. But more shit for them. Be thankful for what you’ve got.

That's so unhelpful that you couldn't have done worse if you'd tried.

People are allowed to feel that this is shit without being made to feel guilty for saying so. Try some empathy.

Hate how we have accepted
Our civil liberties eroded.

What are you doing to help yourself op? What are you doing to get your life in order? At the moment it seems you gain your validation from things you do, like travel etc. That is never a position of power and leaves you vulnerable to those things being taken away, like now. Learn to value yourself for who you are, not what you do. You are probably an inquisitive person with a thirst for knowledge if you like travel. That can never be taken away from you and can be used even now in ways other than travel. I like to run in groups eat out and go to cinema. External focus. Internal - I am interested in health and well being, I like escapism and trying new dishes. I can find a new focus for those needs. It is rubbish, but just by dint of living where and when we do our lives are the most privileged in the whole of humanity. It's not the norm. We were bloody lucky. Yet people survived before . And most of us will too.

I really hope that none of the judgemental posters here work with people who have mental health issues, or have loved ones who're struggling.

Think as well that some people here need to look up the definition of the word 'bitter'.

@southeastdweller

Think as well that some people here need to look up the definition of the word 'bitter'.

What does it mean?

I feel for you, opening poster, I really do. Things are pretty shit at the moment.

I'm 70 and, realistically, I've been lucky to get this far, so I'm not counting on too many more years. Maybe five if I continue to be lucky, so covid19 has, effectively, taken a fifth of my remaining years.

my main pleasures are meeting friends for long boozy !unches, and holidays. I've not been able to do either, much this year.

But, years ago, I read about a thing called areas of concern and areas of influence. Areas of influence being those things I can change (in the current situation, it's isolation and getting the vaccine as soon as I can) areas of concern being those things I cannot change, like covid , that you you just have to accept.

So while I don't like the situation we are all in, I have to accept it. It's that awful thing "we are where we are".

No, I think people need to grow a bit of
Bloody resilience. I get it if you have been directly affected in terms of a Covid death, illness/ lost your job/ been overworking.
But a lot of other things you just need to get on, it is what it is at the moment, bloody well deal with it.

What does it mean?

A search engine called Google is your friend. Maybe look up 'empathy' as well.

@southeastdweller

What does it mean?

A search engine called Google is your friend. Maybe look up 'empathy' as well.

Drop the passive aggressive bit, and make your point.

I asked you a question and you've answered it with a sarcastic, patronising jibe, so I'm not seeing much empathy coming from you.

This is how I cope.

You come across as angry about the current situation. There's no point in remaining angry about something that is totally out of your control. It is absolutely fine and normal to feel anger and have a moan. But feeling like that for weeks or months is only going to cause you more damage.

Coronavirus has had huge impact on me, before anyone accuses me of being in an ivory tower.

What had helped me is to count my blessings. I regularly think about Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, and what she is going through, locked up away from her family. It puts tier 4 into perspective. I also think about the millions of people living in conflict areas, or refugees, whose lives are in limbo and in danger. And they have to cope with Coronavirus too.

It's ok to feel sorry for yourself, to feel anger. Allow yourself to feel that, then balance with some perspective.

If you feel like this long term, I would speak to your gp. I remember the feeling of hopelessness when I had depression. Medication helped.

My life was turned upside down at the last financial crash and I have limped along these past few years. This pandemic has added a new dimension (grief) but fundamentally no practical change to my life. Yeah I am resilient in the sense for the last 10 years I have put one foot in front of the other and done what was required but have felt dead inside. Resilience is overrated!

I’ve spent Christmas Day trying to keep Covid patients alive. If all you have to bellyache about is being bored or how shit life is, well you need to walk a day in my shoes. And I’ve been doing this since March without a day off sick or any holiday. And guess what. I’m doing all again tomorrow and yes , I have three kids. Happy Christmas

One of my friends told me to go out for a walk every day like that's going to make up for the shitness of life.

It won’t make up for it @Cripesitsthegasman19, but I think your friend gave sound advice. We walked every day at the start, not far, twenty minutes round the block, mostly twice a day. Then we got bored of it and fell out of the habit. We’ve been forcing ourselves to take it up again though and it really does make some difference to how I’m feeling/coping with it all.

It won’t make the whole thing fantastically amazing, but for me it makes it a little bit more bearable. I’ll even caveat all this with the fact I hate walking, or exercise of any type, and prior to Covid I only did outside when I really had to.

If all you have to bellyache about is being bored or how shit life is, well you need to walk a day in my shoes

Why does everything have to be a race to the bottom, striving to prove you have it much worse than everyone else? It is entirely ok for someone to find their own life difficult even if by some metric, other people have it worse off. After all, there will be many in a worse position than you, does it stop you thinking you’ve got it bad?

*There is an element of choice in feeling happy or unhappy,
It is not completely out of your control. If you disagree with this, you have a core feeling of helplessness. This is closely linked to a victim mentality.

I’m not referring to clinical depression here by the way but most people have choices in how they respond to adversity in their lives. It’s not a popular opinion as it means people have to take responsibility for their feelings.*

And you don't think from reading the OPs posts that there is a good chance that she is depressed? Some of you people are vile. Absolutely shameful excuses for human beings. The OP is clearly very depressed and possibly even in crisis and what you think she needs is a good kicking? What the fuck is the matter with you? Never mind resilience, why don't you try to grow some compassion. Saying you obviously don't mean the clinically depressed is just a pathetic little disclaimer. You get to decide who has depression do you? You know nothing.

If you can't be kind or supportive, fuck off somewhere else and leave her alone. Nasty spiteful little bullies.