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I’ve stopped bothering to get dressed

117 replies

Litebritesnow · 15/11/2020 09:58

I can’t see the point, we can’t go anywhere or do anything and it’s going to be months before we can.
There’s no answer. Lockdown and prevent loads more people catch covid and even if they don’t die they might be left with ongoing health problems but ruin the economy and basically take any joy out of life.
Or let it burn through and more people die or are ill. If we don’t find a vaccine I think eventually the same amount of people will die anyway, just because over a much longer time frame.
There’s no good option.
I have given up. I am hanging on in there for my children but each day is harder than the one before. I don’t have the resilience I did in March. I understand lots of people are in the same situation and many in worse which is why I won’t see my gp.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 15/11/2020 15:12

FourTea, exactly the sort of post that is not going to make the OP or anyone who lives with depression, feel any better at all. Have you ever tried thinking your mother was a survivor, a strong person, who somehow kept living, rather than the 'martyr' you have described?

bathsh3ba · 15/11/2020 15:14

OP, I've had periods of situational depression in the past, including attempting suicide, and you are implying a form of suicide in saying you would not seek medical help if you became ill. I've also previously self-harmed, which you are doing in a way by not eating.

I have been okay for over ten years now. There is hope, you can come through depression. I know mine was situational rather than clinical but it was still very bleak and I know others with clinical depression who also say that there are peaks and troughs, good times and bad times, it is not all bad all the time.

Try not to think too far ahead. We can none of us predict the future, not even the scientists. On the days when looking to next week was too much, I told myself I'd hang on until the next day. On the days when the next day was too far away, I'd hang on until the next hour. I was taught that if I felt the urge to hurt myself, tell myself I'd do it tomorrow, or I'd do it later, and just push it a bit further down the track. Because the really bleak feelings don't last forever.

If you won't see your GP, would you try speaking to the Samaritans or phoning another helpline? I have found them helpful at times of crisis.

FourTeaFallOut · 15/11/2020 15:17

Feeing better about doing nothing is a false comfort. My dm was both things, a survivor and a martyr. Life got a lot easier once she got help but that was years and years down the line.

Jrobhatch29 · 15/11/2020 15:21

OP I felt like this a while a month or two ago and it was post natal/lockdown depression. I was also getting sore throats, chest pain and palpitations and was convinced something was wrong with me. I rang the GP and went on anti depressants. Two weeks later I felt much better and all those symptoms went. Was all anxiety and depression. Tablets may not be the answer for you but I would definitely ring your GP for some help. I'm much better now and keeping myself busy decorating etc. Hope you feel better soon

CremeEggThief · 15/11/2020 15:21

But that's part of the condition, FourTea. Things are not quick or linear when it comes to depression. Everything takes a long, long time.

I am glad that you at least recognise your mother was a survivor too. It can't have been easy for you either, growing up (my own mother spent most of her time in bed, so it wasn't until I was an adult I didn't realise that it wasn't the 'norm'), so I do appreciate that.

FourTeaFallOut · 15/11/2020 15:23

Oh, God. I will not be lectured on the experience of living with a depressed mother. She was only one victim of her untreated depression.

Eckhart · 15/11/2020 15:25

You sound like you're still choosing to be a victim, FourTea.

Oblomov20 · 15/11/2020 15:26

Ha ha. I don't think it sounds like depression at all. I still have to go out to work 2 days, work at home 2 days. On a Friday, I stay in my dressing gown if I can get away with it!

96315id · 15/11/2020 15:27

You should seek help for your depression.

You're not thinking at all rationally.

Hopefully some antidepressants will have kicked in for you before the vaccine is rolled out.

PurpleDaisies · 15/11/2020 15:27

@Oblomov20

Ha ha. I don't think it sounds like depression at all. I still have to go out to work 2 days, work at home 2 days. On a Friday, I stay in my dressing gown if I can get away with it!
You clearly haven’t bothered to read all of the op’s posts.
FourTeaFallOut · 15/11/2020 15:29

I was when I was a child and powerless to change the situation. I'm certainly not now and I didn't suggested anything of the sort.

But I do think it would be a shame if the op did not seek help and missed an opportunity to make a difference as early as possible, don't you?

CarolineMumsnet · 15/11/2020 15:31

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We're going to move this one over to Mental Health now.

Flowers Flowers Flowers

PurpleDaisies · 15/11/2020 15:31

But I do think it would be a shame if the op did not seek help and missed an opportunity to make a difference as early as possible, don't you?

Everyone is telling her to seek help. The thing that’s in dispute is how easy that is got someone in the grip of clinical depression.

I wonder how helpful this discussion is to the op.

Handsoffisback · 15/11/2020 15:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MadinMarch · 15/11/2020 16:40

I posted earlier. I've had severe depression and have now come out out the other side, I suspect that many of the people posting here are posting from their heart and have also experienced significant depresssion.
@Litebritesnow- My heart goes out to you. What have you taken from all these posts? Will you contact your GP and explain all your feelings of desperation to them?

LilacPebbles · 15/11/2020 17:17

You do know that you won't be 'bothering' the GP at all, don't you? Dealing with patients is what they do for work and whilst I'm sure most have some compassion, you'd be just another person they speak to as part of their job, to be blunt. You're no more or less a hindrance than anyone else. So don't think you're doing them a favour by not seeking help. Ring your doctor's and get a telephone appointment. They won't ask to see you in person.
Meanwhile, don't be hard on yourself, you don't need to show enthusiasm or energy for the day to day stuff. Let the kids do the Christmas tree.

Shalaytrice · 16/11/2020 12:52

Dear OP

You sound so low, you really do need to seek some support please ring your GP. You are as entitled to help as much as everyone else, seriously you are. Look after yourself with a good healthy diet which makes all the difference. Get dressed! I wear fitted suits to the office as I work in Corporate so am required to look professional it genuinely makes all the difference to how you feel along with a pair of heels. Go for a run, doing this daily if you can will really help. I find it helps not just physically but mentally too and its great to see the regular dog walkers and people with young kids who will smile at you and to see nature. The autumn colours have been spectacular this year.

Watch some comedy with the kids (Tom & Jerry?) lift your mood, make a baked Alaska or something a bit different to try to lift you out of this, even temporarily. Try Vitamin D as you probably aren't getting enough daylight which affects your mood.

What's your husband doing still in bed past midday? Especially when you have kids. Kick him out and get him involved in family activities.

Lockdown will end so keep sight of that - you only have one life so for your and for your kid's sakes make it positive.

Take care x

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