I’ve stopped bothering to get dressed

[Litebritesnow]

I can’t see the point, we can’t go anywhere or do anything and it’s going to be months before we can.
There’s no answer. Lockdown and prevent loads more people catch covid and even if they don’t die they might be left with ongoing health problems but ruin the economy and basically take any joy out of life.
Or let it burn through and more people die or are ill. If we don’t find a vaccine I think eventually the same amount of people will die anyway, just because over a much longer time frame.
There’s no good option.
I have given up. I am hanging on in there for my children but each day is harder than the one before. I don’t have the resilience I did in March. I understand lots of people are in the same situation and many in worse which is why I won’t see my gp.

@ProfessorInkling

Do you realise that depression will cloud your views and that how you feel isn’t rational or reasonable?

Absolutely this.^ Please speak to the Dr, the children need you to be well, to get dressed, to take them out, to look after yourself. Book to speak to the Dr ASAP

Is it covid situation that drove OP to this state of mind or was this mindset coming for OP about now, regardless. OP is an adult entitled to make own decisions. I wonder if there are ways to help people similar to OP but unlike OP, willing to accept help. How would we find them & support them?

Op. Please speak to your doctor urgently. You’re clearly very unwell indeed. And you need urgent help.

I’m not going to diagnose you but I will say you’re very unwell. Please seek help for your children’s sake at least. If you can’t do it for yourself.

OP is an adult entitled to make own decisions

What an odd post. This isn’t about entitlement to make your own decisions, she’s clearly very ill so her ability to make decisions are compromised and there are kids involved. As such advising her to seek medical intervention urgently is the way forward, for her sake and her children’s.

@Litebritesnow

Yes I have a husband. He’s still in bed. Par for the course. But he didn’t get up before noon at weekends even before lockdown.

We all know it’s not another two weeks. They’ve extended furlough until March. We know it’s at least until then. Maybe longer.

We don't know that at all, the original furlough ran until the end of October and we came out of lockdown 1 at the end of July, so it being extended to March means nothing - I really wish people would stop wheeling that out as 'evidence' that we'll all be locked away until Spring...

Agree, the overwhelming odds are lock down will end in two weeks and we will go to tiers.

For God's sake, trying to guilt trip mothers who are suffering depression, to pull themselves together for the kids really is NOT helpful!

This thread will get on reddit & then go poof here.

Op, the depression is guiding your thoughts, what your having are not your own thoughts.

When I was at my lowest I promised myself suicide when my youngest was 21 but until then I had to go through the motions of being a proper mother.
So that meant anti d's and plod on.
That was 5 years ago, the anti d's were a godsend, after 3 weeks I was halfway normal,after 6 weeks 90% normal.

So I say, one last push, one trip to the doctor, and reassess in 3 months.
You feel like shit anyway, you might as well feel ahit in the doctors surgery and take the bloody tablets. No skin off your nose.
The difference is, the feeling shit will end if you do.

Op, you're not well physically and mentally.

If you can't face the gp perhaps ring the Samaritans on 116 123.

Can you talk to DH? I'm getting the feeling there's marital issues?

op i have depression i know how you feel-but yu need to see a gp- pills will help through this short term you wont feel so anxious and hopeless

You need to see your GP ASAP you are spiralling downhill fast. You say you work in a school so I assume you go to work Mon-Fri, has no one noticed your low mood? Offered support? Your workplace may have a helpline you could call. Get help your children need you

OP you sound depressed with an unsupportive DH. Honestly I think your situation justifies meeting up with someone else if you can, for the sake of your mental health.

You sound like you're suffering from depression and/or anxiety, the doctors really won't see you as a burden for calling them and telling them you're feeling like this, it's their job to help you in situations like this.

I recently retried antidepressants after hitting a point in lockdown where my depression was stopping me from functioning daily and its like a switch has been hit in my head, though I still don't get dressed everyday but I've always been a slob in lounge wear.

What's your point, OP? You can't be bothered to do anything, I get that.But what are you looking for from the thread? Is there a question? Do you need support or suggestions or acceptance or a kick up the bum or a cuddle or a babysitter or what?

@Litebritesnow

I work three and a half days. I have several conditions that make me vulnerable to covid - on their own they don’t qualify me for shielding but my consultant said the combination of them should really mean that I shield. I feel unwell a lot. I was worried initally about contracting covid and dying but now I’m glad I’ve got things that make me more vulnerable and I’m glad I work in school. In the event of catching it and being ill I won’t seek any medical intervention.

Have you had mental health treatment before now?

You definitely need a doctor and medical attention/medication.

Why does there have to be a 'point'? Are we all looking for something, every time we post?🤔
Maybe the OP just wants to put her thoughts into words. Maybe it's the first step for her in formulating a plan to get help, which might take days, weeks or months to put the next step in place. That is the reality of living with depression. Your whole life feels like you're wading through water, trying to stay afloat. Everything becomes an obstacle. Things that can take a well person a few minutes to 'sort' can take months or even years. Just as an example: it's taken me over 3 and a half years to choose the right paint colours for my living room and to hire a decorator to come to do it (and now I'm having real anxiety that he's not coming to do the work, as I don't trust anyone and expect to be let down).
That is what living with lifelong, mild to moderate depression is like, and for severe depression, it is much, much worse.

People will tell you anti-d's work but I've been on them for nearly 10 years now and still wish I could stay in bed all day.

That's after years of psychotherapy too mind

With respect, anybody who has no personal experience of living with depression and/or anxiety; anyone who hasn't experienced life as a series of obstacles or walking through water feelings I described above, should not be posting advice for anyone with mental health problems. I understand it is well meant, but it is unhelpful and possibly even more damaging.

OP I am so sorry that you are feeling like this, juggling everything and you in the middle gets all forgotten about. But as others have said it is the depression talking, I've been there, Robbie Williams always sprung to mind for me. "I don't wanna to die. But I'm not keen on living either." Please seek help, for you, to help make you feel better. Are you getting any support with your DC? I know it is even poorer for lots at the moment than usual.

I've been the daughter of a depressive who played the martyr and didn't get help. We had to absorb the entire weight of her misery so she didn't have to face it. So, I feel well placed to post, thanks.

People will tell you anti-d's work but I've been on them for nearly 10 years now and still wish I could stay in bed all day

They help a lot of the people a lot of the time. If you've been on them 10 years you probably need to try something different. It must be awful to have felt depressed for that long.

@Litebritesnow

Yes I have a husband. He’s still in bed. Par for the course. But he didn’t get up before noon at weekends even before lockdown.

We all know it’s not another two weeks. They’ve extended furlough until March. We know it’s at least until then. Maybe longer.

So if your dh is normally like this, what did you used to do at weekends before lockdown?

I guess we are fairly lucky that we’re quite outdoorsy, drag the kids up early for dog walk/run/bike ride whatever the weather, then back home for hot choc and tv or homework. It’s not much different for us except not seeing family and friends.

It won’t be forever.

There are some fairly on helpful posts on this thread. Depression isn’t something you can just magic away through some sort of strength of character and it makes it much harder to recognise that you deserve and need help.

Book a gp appointment. You really need one.