I’ve stopped bothering to get dressed

[Litebritesnow]

I can’t see the point, we can’t go anywhere or do anything and it’s going to be months before we can.
There’s no answer. Lockdown and prevent loads more people catch covid and even if they don’t die they might be left with ongoing health problems but ruin the economy and basically take any joy out of life.
Or let it burn through and more people die or are ill. If we don’t find a vaccine I think eventually the same amount of people will die anyway, just because over a much longer time frame.
There’s no good option.
I have given up. I am hanging on in there for my children but each day is harder than the one before. I don’t have the resilience I did in March. I understand lots of people are in the same situation and many in worse which is why I won’t see my gp.

You need to talk to someone (professionally) about the way you're feeling.

Admittedly I've lived in joggers and tshirts/hoodies since I've not been going out as much, but even so I get up and dressed every single day. I couldn't not.

You need to set that example to your children, and try to keep things as close to normal as you can possibly, possibly get.

OP it’s clear you are having the toughest of times. Your children need you to be the best you can be, go to the GP and get help. You will start to feel better but it does sound like you will need some help. Being a parent is knackering at the best of times let alone in a pandemic but you can’t continue as you are. You know you’re depressed. Go to the doctors, ring up tomorrow and get an appointment. By Christmas you should be feeling more positive. Also make it clear to your husband that you need his support - that means him getting up at a sensible time on a Sunday!

@Litebritesnow

It is genuine. I think I was pretty depressed before covid and even people who were in a good place with their mental health before this now seem to be struggling a bit. I won’t go to the gp. I just don’t think there’s any point. They must be sick to death of people going and moaning to them when they’ve nothing to moan about.

Depression. Doctor. Now

@FourTeaFallOut

Op, for your children's sake, get yourself to the gp and seek help for your depression. Your kids won't care that there are others out there in worse shape or that the gp surgery is busy - they need one parent to make their home less miserable than the world outdoors.

Yes Op I grew up with my dm who had bouts of depression and it was miserable for us kids me especially. Get help from your gp .

Ok so you’re saying all this about how life is pointless etc and you’re so unhappy, but you refuse to do the thing that will actually potentially give you some actual help - go to the GP. You have kids. Do it for them if not yourself.

Its totally understandable to are feeling depressed, it's been a really tough year, but you do need to work on feeling better, if not for you right now for your kids. The gp will be happy to talk to you about how you are feeling, you wont be the first that day or the last, lots of people are struggling but there are things that can help whether its therapy or drugs, it is possible to feel better even if you cant see it right now.

@Litebritesnow

I hated the playground before this, and now I hate it even more 😂😂. My oldest won’t play on it so moans he’s bored and my youngest wants me to constantly be involved and I haven’t the energy or the enthusiasm. It’s an effort to even get them out the house.

I sniff a 'deal' to be done here!!

Bribe the eldest to play with the youngest for a treat/prick edge/cold hard cash!!

How old are all your DC?

What age group do you teach?

My oldest won’t help with the youngest. He’s actually worse than that - he’s a hinderance. He is too rough with her because of the adhd and asd and I can’t leave them alone together for any length of time.
I just feel done with it all.
If I wasn’t here I don’t think they’d mind that much.

OP, what you're feeling is a normal reaction to the situation we're going through. You sound completely drained, which I feel too at times.
It's not helpful all those people trying to jolly you out of it and tell you you owe it to your kids. Depression doesn't work like that.

Hang in there and try to find 1 or 2 positive things in every day. And even a walk around the block daily will help a bit.

@Litebritesnow
One of the cruelties of depression is that it puts the sufferer in an ever deepening hole where it gets harder and harder to climb out, and needs more and more effort, at a time when it's so hard to summon up any effort or energy at all.

It makes you believe that there is no hope, so it's not worth investing in anything to help yourself and your situation. Please believe me, this is the depression talking, and while it may be your reality right now, it doesn't need to be like this in the future. It really is possible for you to feel better and more positive about yourself.

For your own sake though, and your children's, you do need to do something to start that climb out of the hole towards the brightness.

By coming on here and telling us how you feel, you've already started your climb out of the hole, so well done. Now you need to take the next step upwards, and talk to your GP. Anti depressants are absolutely brilliant when you get the right one for you, and will lift your mood so you can begin to function better again and help you see that light as something more achievable than you currently think it is (Do expect some side effects at first though, but it's worth sticking with).

Please do this one initial thing for yourself, and contact your GP. They will support you and help you to get into a more positive headspace. Please accept that it is doable, even if you don't quite believe at the moment you can do it.

I wonder whether it would be useful to ask to be signed off work for a while too, so you can focus on yourself, and feeling more positive? Do you feel this would be a good thing to do?

Please, please go to your GP OP, for your kids' sake if nothing else.

I cannot be signed off work, they wouldn’t be very happy. Particularly as it’s in school so we already have staff in and out isolating.
I’m just really really tired I think, and I’ve been having times where I feel like my heart is racing and I can’t breathe properly and that makes me feel more exhausted. Work is stressful so all the time at the moment is stressful or thankless. Or both.

OP you sound like you've got several problems you need help with or methods to overcome them. Now you are blaming everything on covid. Realistically even if this covid situation went on for 2 years or so (which hopefully it won't) it's a relatively tiny part of your life. It doesn't make sense to give up for this reason alone. If you truly feel hopeless what have you got to lose by going to see your GP?

I do think you should get signed off though. It doesn't matter about work, someone else can sort that out. What matters is you have the time and space to get help for yourself. If you were off work, you could use the time your kids are at school to have some time for you.

Otherwise have you tried writing down the top 5 problems you are having and try and tackle them ? You could do one thing each day to help each problem. Getting dressed and making yourself presentable is essential even if you are wearing comfy clothes. You can't stay in your pjs all day. Exercising: Go out for a walk with just one of your dcs if going all together isn't an option. You do have it in you to find solutions. Like you said you are tired you need some rest. How can you make that happen some how? Please don't give up OP. Your family needs you. Just do your best today it doesn't need to be perfect. Small baby steps.

That sounds like a panic or anxiety attack, getting some time out could help such as a walk by yourself- leave Dc with your husband. Relaxation and breathing stuff can help. Here is a really good website for self care. Look after yourself Antidepressants might help as well

www.blurtitout.org

Litebritesnow you very clearly do need to see your GP ASAP. You are most definitely experiencing clinical depression assuming everything youre writing is genuine. You are not expressing a normal or average response to the pandemic or lockdown, you are expressing the mental health issues of someone with depression or "burnout". Most people do not stop getting dressed and declare everything pointless when they still have a secure job outside the home and indeed a home and two mostly healthy children - unless they are experiencing mental health issues.

Get help - its available and you can feel better.

How many days/week do you go to work in term time, OP?

Some people on this thread are being very cruel, the woman is obviously depressed, telling her to woman up isn't going to miraculously cure that. Op I was feeling the same way a few weeks ago, Ive gone back on my antidepressants (been on them before so it wasn't a hard decision for me) and they are starting to kick in now and I'm feeling better. Your brain is playing tricks on you to make you feel like this, speak to your doctor, they will help

I don't often get dressed either. I'm not depressed. On the contrary: it's an absolute treat to stay indoors around all day in my PJs or some yoga leggings. I still have a shower and wash my hair but I can find the silver lining in lockdown

I work three and a half days.
I have several conditions that make me vulnerable to covid - on their own they don’t qualify me for shielding but my consultant said the combination of them should really mean that I shield. I feel unwell a lot.
I was worried initally about contracting covid and dying but now I’m glad I’ve got things that make me more vulnerable and I’m glad I work in school. In the event of catching it and being ill I won’t seek any medical intervention.

OP- you are having a really hard time. School life is draining at the best of times but right now it is something else. On top of that you have 2 children who have SEN and who obviously need a lot of specialised care and attention. On top of on top of that you have a husband who is still in bed at midday on the weekend leaving you to do it all.
It is no wonder you are depressed.

1. speak to GP and get signed off- you won't even need to leave the house. Most appointments done on phone or online using the Livi app. Your school will survive. They have insurance to cover supply costs and if they don't then the money will be found somewhere.
2. If you can't face going to the GP call school and say you've got symptoms so bye bye for 2 weeks. I appreciate lying isn't great but if you won't go to the GP it is another option.
3. Tell your husband you are feeling so low you have expressed on here you would rather die from covid than go on living. He needs to step up and support you.
4. Reach out to any friends/family (get DH to do it) to get help with school runs- can you form a childcare bubble with a family member to give you some respite?
5. Set yourself one small target a day e.g. shower by 9am. or sit outside in garden (even in PJs under coat) for 15 minutes with hot drink (weather permitting).

You will get through this- even though right now you can't see the point and don't have the desire to.

What about your children? How would you feel about them growing up without a mother? This is my second post on your thread.....please please do what we are all urging you to do and speak to your GP. Our minds can get ill just as much as our bodies. There is no shame whatsoever in seeking help. You are not bothering your GP. That is what they are there for.

Do you realise that depression will cloud your views and that how you feel isn’t rational or reasonable?