Health anxiety

[Mvshrln]

Hi all,

I've seen a couple of health anxiety threads on here but they're all quite old/inactive and wondered if there were any more recent ones, or if anyone fancied discussing it via this new thread? It's helpful when someone else knows how you feel.

I really struggle with HA, the thoughts bounce around my head until I fixate on one and worry about it relentlessly. I can see why the anxiety has appeared (friends parent passed away, the covid-19 situation has terrified me, I'm getting older/have life events happening like buying a house, and I also work within the hospice sector). It's helpful to know why but it doesn't help with how to deal with it! I'm currently taking venlafaxine and CBT counselling via videocall but the worry takes up huge chunks of my day.

Nightmare! How is everyone else?

@Partey. I was also functioning ok but the thoughts constantly going round and round in my head...I came to the conclusion that even if I succeed in quietening then they always come back. If you’ve got a uni deadline then I would say hold off a week if you can. I’m lucky in that I’m self employed and work load isn’t crazy at the moment so I can afford to wallow and not be very productive. It won’t stop you caring for your son but you definitely function on a more basic level. But I think if I were you I’d definitely try and get the uni work done first.

@takethegirloutofwales Thank you, I think I will do. Just had a chat with a close friend who had a really bad experience with Sertraline. I’m trying to kind of blank out what she said and see how it is for me.
Surely it will feel differently for everyone?

Hello everyone.

There have been quite a few posts in between so just to say again, I have had pressure in my pelvis for the last two months which weirdly disappears during my period and then slowly creeps back in. I have my gyno appt on Monday and I am of course freaking out about it. Going back to thinking my kids have to grow up without me and I even said to my husband yesterday that he would be absolutely fine as a single dad so that makes it a little bit better.

I don't know how I'm going to survive the weekend though, the last couple of days have been bad enough.

Once I've been there I am going to also go to my GP and ask for antidepressants. Has anyone taken some during breastfeeding? I'm afraid my choice is a little bit limited because of that.

@argueifneccessary sorry to hear you stuck are in a spiral. Promise you, you will be just fine. I get pelvic pain frequently, after having DS I also get bad ovulation pains mid cycle. In fact I have them today. Even though it happens every month since finishing breastfeeding I still google it every month.

Read forums, etc. I also had a private transvaginal ultrasound last year.

You will be just fine. Try to keep yourself as busy as you can over the weekend. Films usually serve as a great escapism for me.

Sounds crazy but I watch sad films about wars etc to try and get some perspective.

And of course we are all here too should you want to chat. X

Hello everyone, just to say l'm on day 15 of sertraline and it really has been ok. Definitely starting to 'take the edge off' so get some respite from endless cycles of worry. Was very anxious about starting which in itself made the first few days harder but what worked for me was keeping telling myself to focus on the longer term and getting to 2 weeks when things might start feeling better.

@argueifnecessary sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I had gynae issues a few years ago(CIN4 I think) 2 lots of LLETZ and recurrent infection. I think there’s something about gynae problems causing additional worries and vulnerabilities. Weirdly I feel ten times as anxious now than I did then.
I hear you about the next few days too- I’ve been through crushing cycles of hopelessness.
If it helps I’ve actually had a really good few days. I got Sertraline prescribed and self referred toTalking Changes- haven’t started either of them yet but even just making the steps to has helped a lot.

Kind of “I’m owning this, I can get better”

I hope you have a better weekend.

@daisychain76 this reassures me a lot. My friend warned of me feeling emotionless, she said she felt dead inside. I really hope that’s not something that happens to me

@Goolies
I'm in Germany so we actually get two appointments a year where they check everything and do an ultrasound except I didn't go to my last one because I avoid doctors like fire.
@Partey
I am actually feeling OK weirdly but that's what you get anyway with anxiety, it comes and goes at random times.
Lately I have been fearful during the good moments over the fact that it will come back with revenge because it usually does. But that of course makes me not enjoy the little moments of life and has made me quite cynical.

I am so glad to hear more success stories with Sertraline. One of my best friends kept repeating how she got her life back after finally starting to take it. She did get some side effects but still swore by it

Hi all I’m hoping someone can talk me down I’m having a hellish day today. So I’ve had this pain in my rib cage, when I was in the shower today I could something that resembled a lump, it’s about two inches under my armpit, I’m not sure if it’s a lump, rib, or what.

I panicked so much my heart rate went crazy, I had to come out of the showe I have been in tears since. I keep imagining my son not having me around and I feel so depressed. I feel like crying, I have to make fairy cakes with him for school and I feel like a zombie. I felt the same location on the other side and I think I can feel something there too.

I’m spiralling really badly. Please help me see sense. I had a clear mammogram 2 years ago. Should I have another one privately?

Hi @Goolies I didn’t want to read and run as I know how much a reply can help when your in the depths of despair. I don’t have any words of wisdom I’m afraid but just wanted to let you know that your not alone as many on this thread can back me up on that.

I’m too in this horrible cycle, I feel so hyper sensitive to every sensation and it feels like it never ends. I actually find myself counting down the hours till it’s dark so I can jump back into bed as it’s my safe place.

I hope you managed to find some calm and were able to make your cakes even if it was for a split second then your doing great in my books!😊

@Goolies it’s probably a lymph node, they can swell up because you are coming down with a cold or anything like that. I totally sympathise though, I have to use a sponge in the shower but otherwise I end up searching my body for lumps and send myself into a spiral!

I haven’t been feeling great this weekend either, had sex at the tail end of my period but have still managed to convince myself that the bit of bleeding I had afterwards counts as bleeding after sex. So I’ve been in a shitty mood all weekend, and then I get annoyed at myself for letting my anxiety spiral. It’s such a vicious circle.

I hope everyone else is doing well, I haven’t posted a lot recently but this thread is such a support so I’m grateful for everyone who posts and keeps it going!

@Goolies hi, hope you’re doing ok. Just wanted to reassure you, it’ll be your lymph nodes under your arms, if I dig deep enough in my armpits I can feel them under each one, always been able to, they kind of roll around. If you feel around anywhere enough you’ll find something. I can also feel my lymph nodes in my groin as I’m slim. How we’d you feeling? xx

@MrsWhites hope you’re ok. That’s happened to me before, it’s just the end of your period, try not to worry. I know exactly what you mean though, it is definitely a vicious cycle xx

@pinkmonroe thank you for your reply, my day has been sheer hell I don’t know how I’ve got to this place once again. I was absolutely fine before my shower looking forward to a nice day with DS. I’ve been in a weird place all day, feel quite disassociated with everything.

Like you I’ve just wanted to get into bed. I just want to raise my son after that I’m not I really bothered. Feel so depressed and haven’t managed to snap out of it today. Thanks so much replying it means so much.

@MrsWhites I’ve been there too. I now don’t have sex and few days before as that can trigger a bless or at the end of my period. I stressed myself out so bad it’s just not worth it.

I hope your day got better. I’m praying for a better day tomorrow this place I’m in is a living hell. Can’t believe I’ve done full circle and I’m back here again.

Lib3rtine thank you so much for response too. I’ve had such a hard day. Keep poking at my DS thinking about not seeing him grow up, it destroys me. If it’s a lymph node is it bad that I can feel it? Does that not mean there could possible be breast cancer that’s spread? My head is all over the place.

I don’t know what to do from here. Should I get it Looked at? If I bend over so my back is curved it feels like a rib but then when I’m upright it feels like a lump. I’m driving myself crazy have used up so much handwash just to keep feeling it as it’s easier with soap! It’s sore now too. :(

@lib3rtine sorry I forgot the @ before your name x

@Goolies no, it doesn’t mean that at all. Like I said, if I dig deep in each armpit I can feel mine, they’re round, soft and roll around. Same in my groin. Can you feel the same thing under each arm? If so then I’d say you’ve nothing to worry about. A prominent lymph node that is hard and immobile and getting bigger is one that needs looking at but even then it’s probably due to your body fighting something off. If you’re having to try so hard to feel it then I’d say you’ve nothing at all to worry about. From what I’ve read, and I’ve done a lot of reading, Anything suspicious doesn’t have to be searched for, you’ll feel it without even trying. I hope you’re feeling a bit calmer, stop feeling tonight, if it is a lymph node, the more you feel the sorer it’ll get and the bigger it’ll get. I’ve been there and done it myself xx

@Lib3rtine and @Goolies thank you both, it’s really reassuring to hear that it has happened to other people too!

I definitely don’t think it’s an issue that you can feel a lymph node, I wouldn’t worry unless it grows over the next couple of weeks. I have one on one side of my neck that I can feel but it’s always been that way. You probably just haven’t noticed it before. If it’s in your ribs it could also be a little bit of cartilage or something like that too!

Evening all. Just popping in. Had a few bad periods over the weekend. I had my CBT assessment this week and my first session is on Wednesday. I’m really hoping it helps. When I had CBT a few years back I concentrated on the anxiety in general rather than health anxiety.

I haven’t started the sertraline yet as I’m taking some other medication and can’t take them together.
It really is never ending - it’s exhausting. The slightest thing can throw you back in to the cycle.

I felt the same location on the other side and I think I can feel something there too.

@Goolies - That's a really good sign that it's nothing to worry about - cancer doesn't do symmetry!

Hey everyone, it feels kind of horizontal and long ish is that still likely a lymph node? I’m already in bed need to give me head a rest bit of course I’m googling, trying to learn the anatomy of underarm structures. It’s so exhausting.

@Ethellsmum best of luck with your CBT I have been on a wishing list it’s taking so long!

Thank you @Lib3rtine, really appreciate the reassurance I will need to re read all these messages tomorrow when hopefully my head is in a better place xx

Thanks @Goolies. I’m fortunate that it’s only taken probably 4 weeks at the most from me self referring to having my first session.

@Goolies I believe lymph nodes are sort of shaped like a jelly bean. I hope you get some rest tonight and feel better tomorrow.

@Goolies hope you’re feeling better this morning and had a good nights sleep. The lymph nodes I can feel are softish, roundish and move, they are a bit longer rather than fully round, bit like a kidney bean.
I would reiterate what others have said, if you feel the same on the other side then there’s nothing to worry about. I know what it’s like to be in a blind panic on a Sunday evening though, I’ve been there on numerous occasions! Hope you managed to get a good nights sleep.
You mentioned having a private mammogram, where did you get that? I’d really like one but don’t think you can under 40 from what I’ve read xx

Morning @Lib3rtine thanks so much for you message, when you say kidney beans shape which way around is it longways or sideways? I went to the spire hospital they have a one stop breast clinic on a Saturday, you see a consultant, have a mammogram, ultrasound and results all within 2 hours. It’s great and you don’t need a gp referral. You can Check online you see which one closest to you offers that service.

Heads a bit clearer today but still don’t know what to do. :(

@Goolies sideways I think, as if the bean is lying horizontal. You’re probably really sore today if you’ve been prodding and poking, might be better waiting a couple of days to check again as you’ll have made tissue swell up etc. I really do think you’re fine but I also know what I’m like in these situations. If it was something sinister though, you wouldn’t have to go searching for it. When I had to go to the breast clinic a while ago for a lump I’d imagined that was in fact just breast tissue, the breast nurse did a full examination and checked lymph nodes and didn’t go digging in my armpit at all, she was checking for any prominent ones that could be felt without hurting myself trying to find them. Hope you’re feeling a bit more reassured xx

@Goolies and thank you, I will look into that xx