Health anxiety

[Mvshrln]

Hi all,

I've seen a couple of health anxiety threads on here but they're all quite old/inactive and wondered if there were any more recent ones, or if anyone fancied discussing it via this new thread? It's helpful when someone else knows how you feel.

I really struggle with HA, the thoughts bounce around my head until I fixate on one and worry about it relentlessly. I can see why the anxiety has appeared (friends parent passed away, the covid-19 situation has terrified me, I'm getting older/have life events happening like buying a house, and I also work within the hospice sector). It's helpful to know why but it doesn't help with how to deal with it! I'm currently taking venlafaxine and CBT counselling via videocall but the worry takes up huge chunks of my day.

Nightmare! How is everyone else?

I will have to try that! Makes sense :) I think my health anxiety started when I was pregnant, never really bothered about my health much before that. Wow not long at all now, exciting times :)

Well after losing 7lbs in 7 days through complete panic and anxiety I got my symptoms checked today and it was real but just muscular. I feel relieved now but I know this has to stop, it's exhausting 😟 I really wish I was mentally strong enough to just snap out of it, but it's so all-consuming when it hits.....

@Goolies I thought it made sense too but its easier said than done I suppose. I've always worried about my health, my earliest experience was when I was about 6 worrying about mad cow disease! its always been a specific thing though which I've managed to get over, whereas now it just seems a fear in general of any kind of terminal illness so it seems different. I know, not long at all, its definitely keeping me going lately!
@BringItOnBaby I'm glad you got your symptoms checked and all ok. I'm the same as you, I had my breast checked last week, all fine and now I'm worrying about something else, my husband thinks I am crazy! It is the most time consuming thing ever, really is horrendous and I wish the same as you that I could wake up one day and not feel like this. fingers crossed we can one day xx

Well I’m day five on sertraline now after realising I couldn’t go on with this inward panic day in day out about being ill. It’s still early days and I’ve been told that it takes six weeks to feel real effect but already I am experiencing moments of calm. These pills come with a whole host of horrible side effects. Last night I had a headache right behind my right eye. It felt like it was going to explode. And guess what - I didn’t turn to google and when I woke up this morning it wasn’t there. It was just a headache. Now I know before taking these pills I would have spent hours convincing myself it was a brain tumour or stroke and spiral into thinking about my kids without a mother etc etc. But this time, yes I was worried but not out of control. I recognised it for what it was - and I feel so damn proud of myself. I’m feeling totally spaced out today. These meds really knock you for six but, I got out, grabbed a take out coffee with a friend and her little dog and walked (or floated) 10,000 steps. I’ve had to swallow my pride with meds. It’s a route I never thought ‘someone like me’ would go down. But I hate not being present for my family and being down my own little rabbit hole of fear and anxiety which is just crippling. I’ve now got to just keep plodding forward - I am lucky that I work for myself so I am prioritising me for a little while. I will start some CBT - hopefully in the new year as the dr said let the meds take proper effect so you have the headspace to really benefit from the cbt. I’m anxious about coming off them and not wanting to be dependent on them for life but I really am going to just see how it goes.

@takethegirloutofwales that's really positive news to hear and well done to you indeed, it's so hard accepting the need for help sometimes I think - you must feel relieved.

I am starting CBT tomorrow. I am feeling more positive for accepting that I have a problem and getting some help for it. I'm also still convinced that my HA is linked to my hormones and cycle and have requested a blood test from doc to check hormone levels. In the meantime I'm off the booze as it seems to be a huge trigger for me, and I'm really trying not to be on google.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. I'm thinking of everyone with these daily struggles and just glad to have a place to share where people understand as my GP is very dismissive and made me feel worse.

I’m actually lucky that my GP is so lovely. She’s a friend of a friend so we always have a bit of a chat and she puts me right at ease. I’ve also been really open with my friends about starting the meds and it’s the best thing as they’re planning walks and take out coffees and things to make me get up and out rather than sitting at home and dwelling on feeling bleugh. I’m feeling very lucky at the moment.

You are very lucky you have a great GP it’s a rare breed! Ahhhh that’s fantastic that you have got out been for a walk done 10k steps!! I’ve been on my couch watching documentaries! I get up now and then thinking come on keep moving, movement is good, I do a bit and then sit back down. Working at home alone all day doesn’t help. Really glad to hear things are moving in the right direction for you

Can I join please..? So happy to have found this thread!

I have had anxiety since my son was born in 2018, had CBT and it really helped, anxiety faded until earlier this year. Kicked back in BIG TIME when the pandemic hit, then I went through a pretty awful MMC where I ended up haemorrhaging and with a nasty infection, and have been in pain since - have suspected endometriosis.

The constant pain is sending me mad, I am so sick of myself! I'm sick of crying, sick of googling and am totally drained. Forever thinking the worst, with the overarching thought of 'what if I don't see my son growing up?' - I'm certain having children exacerbates HA.

In a way I am glad I am not alone, but in a way I feel awful that others feel as bad as me! :( x

Hello Amz6219, sorry to hear you are suffering. It’s so hard isn’t it, it’s good to know that CBT helped you, was it face to face therapy you had, would you recommend it?

I’m embarrassed at the amount of time I have spent on google, forums etc when I had so many other things I’ve needed to do!

So sorry to to hear abou the MMC that must have been tough xx

Finding it comforting to know I'm not alone in this (although certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone!). I find the evenings worse - get panicky & breathless (not really, just feel it) & have too much time to Google when kids in bed!

I find mornings bad and during the day if work is quiet as I’m working from home I will start googling and checking random stuff like my BP heart rate, pulse oximetry, end up really stressing myself out

I've definitely found it worse since working at home, being home on my own all day as gave me far too much time to torture myself with negative thoughts. There are so many of us suffering from this, I never knew it was so common, I really did think I was just strange and no one else could possible think like I do

@Lib3rtine me too! It’s so isolating because we don’t personally know anyone going through it. Social media makes the world look like everyone except you has the perfect life.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but it is comforting to know it’s not just me, I’m not completely alone. I hope we can keep this thread going.

I’ve had pain in my ribs that’s been consuming me the last 2 days, trying my best not to think about it and keep busy. Work is quiet today, hoping I can get the willpower to get ready and get out for a walk

@Goolies I know exactly what you mean, social media does make you think everyone else is so happy and carefree, thats one of the reasons I'm trying to spend less time on it. I was doing ok until I saw a girl on instagram yesterday who is only 39 and has metastatic breast cancer. she got cancer at 35 and had it treated and got the all clear then it came back and spread to her bones. I could feel panic rising in me when I read about it. That is the kind of thing that absolutely terrifies me, its so sad and cruel.
The pain you're feeling could well be psychosomatic, I find if I think of an area enough I'll start feeling a pain there. Or it will be something and nothing that by thinking about it you're making it seem more pronounced than it is. That was one of the things I was reading about in some self help stuff. I hope we can keep this thread going, its nice to have other people to talk to xx

@Lib3rtine I avoid social media too, i take long breaks off Facebook, Yes heading something like that would bother me too. I try to avoid reading thinks like that.

Yeah it’s strange when I’m busy my pains etc disappear and then when I’m alone I start noticing them. Well I’m always here if anyone wants to chat/ vent I totally get it. It’s so hard. Xx

@Goolies yeah, I really should avoid things like that but once I've seen it I have to know more about it, I really need to work on not doing that.
I'm the same, when I'm on my own things seem more pronounced and you notice every little thing! I'm always here too, I would hate for people to think they are all alone in going through this xx

Thanks @Lib3rtine, it’s so nice knowing there’s someone that gets it. What are you up to today are you working? X

Thanks @Goolies :)

I found CBT really helpful but was for general anxiety, only this year has it developed to HA. One thing that stuck with me was to allow the thoughts, don’t think ‘oo I mustn’t think that...’ because it makes it worse so just acknowledge the thoughts and let them pass - therapist gave the example ‘ok, for 30 seconds we’re not going to talk, just don’t think about a polar bear’... 30 seconds up and all I could do was think about a polar bear!! She was so right.

I’m terrible most of the day and social media definitely feeds it but I can’t help it!

My most recent obsession is I’m buying loads of Christmas things to make it a lovely Christmas because my anxiety tells me it’ll be my last - feel so stupid saying it out loud!

Xx

@Amz6219 omg, I do this too!! Not only with Christmas but everything!! I go totally overboard with my DS birthday, Christmas, any occasion as like you I think it could be the last!

It does sound crazy reading it back but I don’t know why we think like that. I’ve set up an email address for my DS where I write to him telling him how much I love him and how proud I am, just incase I’m not around to tell him by the time he’s old enough to get it.

My husband thinks I’m crazy. X

Thanks to this thread I self referred to my local Talking Changes this week.

I also spoke to my GP practice about medication, something I turned down in September. I had sent an online form explaining my circumstances and received a call less than an hour later from a lovely lady who chatted with me and prescribed Sertraline.

I’m nervous about it, having heard about the chance my anxiety could get worse and all the other side affects but I’m really hoping hitting with CBT and medication will let me get a grip of it.

I feel more positive for having taken these steps and I wouldn’t have done either if it weren’t for this thread so thank you

@Goolies Yes I'm working today, my husband finishes at dinner time on a friday so I'm not on my own as long.

I am also the same, I always think it might be my last! I would absolutely love to be one of those people who don't think about what might happen and just enjoy whats happening at the present, I'm really hoping I can get there xx

@lib3rtine me too, I really hope we can all get there. The idea of that kind of freedom is amazing.

@Partey that’s great news, please keep us updated with how you get on with the setraline, I’ve been so tempted to try it.

@Goolies It definitely is! fingers crossed it won't be long!
@Partey yes, definitely keep us updated on how you get on, I really want to try it once the baby is born

@Partey. You could have been me last week. That’s exactly what I did. Worked through an e consult and before I knew it I had submitted the form. Got a call back from my gp and she was fantastic. I’ve been taking sertraline for nearly a week now. I cried before my first tablet as I felt so bad going down the meds route. But my husband has been super supportive. I will be honest with you, it’s not been a walk in the park week but it hasn’t been horrendous either. I’m absolutely floored with tiredness and my head doesn’t seem quite connected to my body. I’ve had a couple of more anxious moments but have been able to tell myself it’s because the meds are working. I’ve had periods of calm and instances of being g able to brush of aches and pains I’d have normally spent hours googling. So take the plunge and keep in touch if you like. I’m a week ahead of you so happy to hand hold.

Thank you @takethegirloutofwales
I’m very wary tbh. I’m able to cope with my days white well in that I get up, eat well and sleep well. House is tidy, son is well looked after and I’m really worried the Sertraline will affect those things. I’ve also got a uni deadline next weekend so that’s making me nervous too.

I’ll check in and see how you’re doing. It will really help having a medication buddy