Health anxiety

[Mvshrln]

Hi all,

I've seen a couple of health anxiety threads on here but they're all quite old/inactive and wondered if there were any more recent ones, or if anyone fancied discussing it via this new thread? It's helpful when someone else knows how you feel.

I really struggle with HA, the thoughts bounce around my head until I fixate on one and worry about it relentlessly. I can see why the anxiety has appeared (friends parent passed away, the covid-19 situation has terrified me, I'm getting older/have life events happening like buying a house, and I also work within the hospice sector). It's helpful to know why but it doesn't help with how to deal with it! I'm currently taking venlafaxine and CBT counselling via videocall but the worry takes up huge chunks of my day.

Nightmare! How is everyone else?

@Ethellsmum I am on day 9 of sertraline, definitely feel a little better than before I started but still not back to 'normal' anxiety levels for me. I think it takes about 2 weeks to really kick in though. No side effects, which is good. How is it going for you?

Hi @ethellsmum good luck with the setraline please do keep us updated on how they work for you. I’ve considered meds before but then I get scared as I’ve heard people say you can get worse before better x

Do you mind if I join you please?
I’ve read some of the thread and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about how I’m feeling. I’m embarrassed by it really.

4 months ago I wasn’t really aware of health anxiety tbh. Then I found a small lump on my chest wall. Went to GP who advised to wait and see. It actually disappeared but left behind crippling anxiety.

I spoke with a friend and my dm. Went back to gp who did some bloods to reassure me.

“Symptoms” have ranged from bloating, heartburn, chest pain and a stitch like shooting pain in my chest. Now a clicking jaw and discomfort in my glands.
Yesterday discovered a little lump under my skin on my shin bone. Just when I think I’m having a better day something else appears.

I’m trying to make some changes- longer walks and healthier diet. I want to speak to gp again, I declined medication but think I may need to reconsider. I feel like I’ll be judged.
Is there any online CBT courses you could recommend? Anything that helps lift the fog?

I’m on day 3 of Setraline. I got to the point I couldn’t go on with this awful health anxiety. It’s exactly how you all describe. Goes away then comes back with a vengeance and I spend hours a day obsessively googling. I hope it works. I feel sad it’s come to medication but it’s better than living this way, standing in the supermarket queue thinking about how I’d break news of dying to my kids. My bp is through the roof however so that’s something real I now have to deal with but I can somehow handle that because it’s not make believe and I can be proactive about it.

Oh my goodness I am so glad I've found you all. You have no idea how comforting it is to know I'm not alone. I've wasted the whole day googling, panicking and crying. Even though I'm convinced that this time it really is something (I've had an X-ray for a joint issue I was having physio for - now convinced it's cancer) I know I have catastrophised like this multiple times before.

I've been on meds before for general anxiety which worked really well - I may have to consider going back on them if I can't get past this.

That’s good to hear @daisychain76. I’ve not started taking them yet - I’ve had to take some other medication to help with my milk supply as I’m still bf and the 2 can’t be taken together.
I had my CBT assessment today though and starting next week.

Hi all, hope everyone is okay. I had a really bad few weeks so took a bit of time away from social media etc. Had a read through, there are so many of us struggling with a similar thing! I bought a new Apple Watch and after being so excited about it, I’ve been fixated on my heart rate which seems to keep spending a few hours at a time at 90+ so I’m spending my days scared to move in case it increases further and panicking about a heart attack... it never ends!

Hi, can I join please? I’ve been suffering with health anxiety since I had a gallbladder attack in October 2019, the first time I’ve ever felt very ill and had to go to A&E. Ever since then I’ve cycled through every possible illness (sometimes exacerbated by gallstone pains but not always). I am hyper focusing on certain conditions - to start with it was dvt/pe, then I moved onto heart problems, then problems with my neck / brain tumours. I’m awake right now because I have pain in my left shoulder which is probably muscular but I’m convinced it’s a heart attack.

I haven’t seen my GP because I also hate talking on the phone and never get my point across properly. I’ve bought books and audiobooks on anxiety which have helped slightly. Reading all of your experiences has helped a lot too! Really not sure what to do. I just want a full MOT/check up but I know that’s not the answer either. Thought writing it all down will help!

@Goolies Yes! I've definitely got the fear of planning! my husband keeps talking about how good Christmases will be once the baby is here and gets to an age where he/she understands it and I just keep quiet as I think by agreeing I'm tempting fate that something will happen to me or him. It definitely is an awful way to live. I think after baby is born I will see about going on medication if I still feel the same. I've been on citalopram before for general anxiety but it sounds like there are better options. Sounds like there are a few of us suffering from this, which, I wouldn't want anyone to go through this but it does make you feel better knowing you're not alone as I used to think that it was only me who felt like this and that I was going mad xx

Wow isn’t it an eye opener that there are so many of us suffering yet it can feel so isolating. I look around at people too, thinking how amazing would it be to be that care free and just live life fully. I can’t really talk to anyone about it. It can be a very lonely place.

I’m spiralling about so many things right now it’s like I’m stuck in neutral. Wish we all lived close and could meet for a coffee and vent!

I look at my husband and fish he’s so laid back, even when he has symptoms that would paralyse me he just takes it in his stride. Don’t know what went wrong or when with me but it’s an awful feeling

I look around at people too, thinking how amazing would it be to be that care free and just live life fully. I can’t really talk to anyone about it. It can be a very lonely place.

This is exactly how I feel.

@ashmarie i have also been thinking of buying an Apple Watch with the ecg function but I also know it would drive me crazy and I would obsessively keep checking it. I have heart concerns too at the moment, have had rib cage pain and keep checking my fitbit for heart rate. Also have a pulse oximetry so check my blood oxygen too. :( my biggest worry is not being able to raise my kid. He’s an only child and I worry about what would happen to him. He doesn’t have cousins or any other kids in the family, hubby is here but the love and attention I give him is well... different. Breaks my heart thinking about things like that but can’t help it.

@Goolies I probably wouldn’t recommend it actually, it’s so easy to become obsessive. As soon as I heard about it I was desperate for it as I had convinced myself that if that was monitoring my heart, it was one less thing for me to worry about? It didn’t work that way... it’s become just another thing to obsess over! It’s incredibly draining. I also have the most unsympathetic doctor and although I have asked for help, I’ve pretty much been told to get on with it so I feel quite embarrassed as well.

My doc is the same, she almost found it quite amusing and laughed it off. Yeah you’re right I think I will leave it as it’s only going to stress me more and it’s one more gadget to waste my time with.

I do wonder what or if there is a solution to any of this. I’ve had so many tests, none of them provide a long term Solution

That's terrible that your doctors have laughed at you, especially if you have asked for help. You can self refer via your local IAPT, they should have a website.
I am the same, I look around and think how nice it would be to love a carefree life and not have these thoughts but one thing I've discovered since I've been more open about my problem is how many other people do suffer from it who I never thought would. The biggest trigger for me is reading about someone who has got something wrong with them and nothing can be done. I can kind of deal with cancer stories if people are being treated and have the best chance possible to make a full recovery. Its when I read about someone with something wrong with them and nothing can be done that just absolutely petrifies me and causes panic attacks and all the other symptoms that come with this awful condition. I got myself in a right state the other week after reading about a girl with stage 4 lung cancer that was only just discovered and then went down a right internet rabbit hole of reading other stories of young people with it. It was a very dark time and I was breaking down in tears constantly. I'm really really hoping that CBT will enable me to have some respite from how health anxiety makes me fee x

I did self-refer, had an initial assessment and their exact words were - ‘health anxiety is really common and easily treated by just avoiding reading about symptoms or worrying about your health. You manage to hold down a responsible job so it really can’t be that bad, if it was debilitating you wouldn’t be able to work’. It just adds to those feelings of feeling embarrassed and silly when professionals say these things, it’s really harmful. I’ve recently started seeing a psychologist privately for CBT so I’m hopeful!

@Ashmarie that's absolutely terrible! I cannot believe a mental health professional would say that to someone. My local one were really good with me but I'm not sure if a lot of it was to do with being pregnant, I definitely don't think I'd have been referred for CBT if I wasn't. I hope the private CBT works for you xx

@Lib3rtine I know, I had a really low few weeks after that. I know I’m struggling, so I don’t know why I’m being fobbed off! I wonder if I’m maybe not the best at articulating how I feel. I also know mental health services are completely overwhelmed at the moment so I’m trying not to take it personally!

@Ashmarie Regardless of how overwhelmed they might be, they shouldn't dismiss a mental health problem like that, its really not ok and you are in your right to complain x

If only people understood what it’s like living like this day to day and having to put on a front to the world that’s everything is great. Maybe I should look into private therapy.

What does everyone else fear? Mine is leaving my son if it wasn’t for him Indont think I would be too fussed.

@Goolies I know, it can be so exhausting when its a bad flare up, I have no interest in anything as I'm just that scared all the time.
My fear is knowing I'm going to die and leaving everyone behind. Its not a fear of dying I've got, its the knowing about it. So I don't fear being mowed down by a car or having a heart attack and dropping dead as I wouldn't know what was happening, its the being told I'm ill and nothing can be done. I just couldn't cope with how sad everyone would be and how they'd act round me. It really does paralyse me with fear x

@lib3rtine what do you fine gets you out of that thinking is it just time? I’m bad at the moment I feel short of breath and panicky and really on edge. I look forward to the evening when I can sleep.

@Goolies I'm hoping its time. I've not had a flare up like this before, its been really bad. I think taking a step forward to get help has made me feel a bit better too. I think everyone has the same fear but most people can put it out of their mind and it doesn't impact their day to day living so that's the place I want to get to. I'm hoping as well that once the baby is here I've got less time to dwell on those kinds of thoughts.

Ahhh you’re pregnant! Sorry must have missed that on a previous post. Congratulations when are you due? Yes he/ she will certainly take up most of your time!

@Goolies Aw thank you! I'm due 20th Jan so not long now. I think being pregnant has been one of the main instigators for the current flare up so I want to be in as good a place as possible when the baby arrives. Someone said that one of the things that helped them to get over it was thinking that the disease they were scared of getting couldn't make them feel much worse than they did thinking about getting it and that's really struck a chord with me so I'm trying to think positive!