Health anxiety

[Mvshrln]

Hi all,

I've seen a couple of health anxiety threads on here but they're all quite old/inactive and wondered if there were any more recent ones, or if anyone fancied discussing it via this new thread? It's helpful when someone else knows how you feel.

I really struggle with HA, the thoughts bounce around my head until I fixate on one and worry about it relentlessly. I can see why the anxiety has appeared (friends parent passed away, the covid-19 situation has terrified me, I'm getting older/have life events happening like buying a house, and I also work within the hospice sector). It's helpful to know why but it doesn't help with how to deal with it! I'm currently taking venlafaxine and CBT counselling via videocall but the worry takes up huge chunks of my day.

Nightmare! How is everyone else?

@powerslidePanda I would love to be one of those people who never notice anything ! Never think small things are big things . Looks like my thinking is not uncommon sadly

Hi everyone!

I am so glad I found this thread. May I also join in? My HA has been so bad in the last two months that I am finding it difficult to function or think of anything else. I have two small children and keep crying because I don't want to leave them without a mum

Unfortunately I am one of those HA sufferers that's avoiding going to the GP. I google, diagnose myself with cancer and then worry about it for a very Long time but avoid the drs because I don't want to hear them confirm it. It doesn't help that I don't really know my GP and live abroad.

Right now I've been having pressure in my lower abdomen/pelvis and a feeling that there's something there. I do have a gyno appt coming up in 3 weeks but I would ideally go on anxiety medication before so I would be able to deal with the fact I have ovarian cancer. This is my thought process, although I can't make myself to actually go to the drs and ask for meds.

I really want my life back. I found most of the things said here so familiar up to the realization that maybe it would be good if I died because then I wouldn't feel that horrible crippling anxiety any longer. Similarily I am not suicidal or depressed, it is just the thought of relief that appeals to me.

I also have trouble sleeping. The other night I woke up at 2am and had a 5 hr long anxiety attack and googled myself silly about ovarian cancer.
I do find that going outside and being active helps, but I still feel that pressure sometimes and then all the horrible thoughts and feelings come flooding in again.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I saw a blond girl being hit by a car and dragged under it. So I think I have the next level of intrusive thoughts.

Oh @argueifnecessary hope it helped wrote that all down as I know it did me. I’m also a GP avoider but then I end up having loads of issues building up that need attention but can’t go with more than one ‘ailment’!

I have also had a feeling of pressure in pelvis and started worrying about ovarian cancer. But unless you’re bloated and feeling full after eating only a little bit it’s very unlikely to be that. GP can do a blood test for ovarian cancer marker that can rule it out. The problem with us that suffer HA is that as soon as it’s ruled out we move onto the next illness it could be. I think it’s hard to ever believe there could be a time when I don’t think there’s something seriously wrong with me.

I also used to wake early and panic about stuff, but since I’ve started taking low dose Amitriptyline (for nerve pain) this hasn’t really happened and really helps me sleep.

Hi everyone, please can I join. I so relate to wishing you could switch your brain off for a while! Had generalised anxiety disorder for years, but recently it seems to have focused on HA. I have a couple of symptoms (light headed, tinnitus) which are being checked out, but of course I am thinking the complete worse whilst also worrying about heart disease and other things. I started on 50mg of sertraline yesterday but felt worse after reading about potential side effects.

I had an awful night with very little sleep I was so anxious last night, so today I'm trying to get fresh air, eat well and relax a bit.

Hoping everyone's day today is good.

Hi to those who have joined recently. I've been avoiding the thread! As trying not to think or do anything relating to HA but yesterday it hit me again, really badly. I've got a spot on my chest above my boob that won't go away and I'm convinced it's skin cancer . I've been awake most of the night, sweating and panicking and now feel really sick and exhausted.
So fed up with this. I am getting an assessment for anxiety tomorrow which I almost cancelled as I can't face it but I'm actually glad as I really need help.
Hope others are doing ok and keeping on top of it. Such a bloody crap way to live.

@chorusline79 how strange- I have the exact same thing!! A spot on my chest that just won't go away. It shrinks/grows, itch/doesn't itch, scabs and descabs and it's been doing this for at least 8 weeks. I haven't been to the doctor about it because (for once) google has been reassuring. It's very small, hasn't grown or really changed so I've kept it for one of those things that I'll mention to my doctor when I see them next.
It's funny how our minds will pick and choose what things to focus and worry about and that everyone's trigger is different. Last year I might have been really worried by it, but this year I'm already worried about something else, so this spot has stayed towards the back of my mind a bit- I suppose a bit like it would for someone without HA. Everything else though is worrying me far more than it should 😂

Really @Malzzy that's weird that you have one too. Mine doesn't seem to have any pus in it which is why I'm freaking out and I've tried squeezing it but no joy and it just won't go! I've been ignoring it and ok about it but yesterday it was like someone flipped a switch and I just became so anxious, and everything feels like it's closing in on me.
I hope you're ok, did you get anywhere with Doc in the end or was that the end of the conversation ( about the yoga!)

@chorusline79 that was the end of the conversation! I went straight to a different gp surgery and registered there. I've been better over the weekend so I've not made an appointment to see anyone in the new surgery yet. That's how my HA goes too- currently my head has decided to fret about something that I've had for over 10 years! Suddenly it might be sinister 🙄
Try and remember that your anxiety about it will pass, and the switch will flick back, just try and hunker down til then and try not to feed it (for me that's not to google it/touch it or stare at it!). I hope your anxiety assessment will bring some relief or at least a light at the end of the tunnel for you :)

Thankyou, @Malzzy I really appreciate your advice and it has made me feel a bit calmer. It's great to have others like you who understand, and be able to speak about it.
Hope your new GP is better 🤞 and glad to hear you had a better weekend with it.

Evening all.
I’m not good but I’ve got my CBT phone call on Monday.
I’ve not taken any medication yet - mainly the side effects scare me to death but also I can’t risk the chance they make me drowsy when I’ve got a baby that needs seeing to all night long.
@daisychain76 I’d be interested to hear how you get on with the sertraline as that’s what I’ve been prescribed.

Hi everyone, hope you're doing ok. I had a better week and had my first online stresspac session last week whilst I wait for the CBT referral. It did make me feel better knowing I'm doing something about it. I was at the doctors yesterday though as I thought my right breast tissue felt thicker than the left in a certain place. Doctor was lovely and said they were both the same lumpy consistency (which is normal for me) and pregnancy will make them even more lumpy. He wasn't worried at all and checked them both all over so I did feel better after that. I think after the baby is born I will definitely go back on medication as I would love to be like people who don't suffer with health anxiety and be able to not catastrophise every little change I notice. I've got a book off Amazon called 'Overcoming Health Anxiety' which I'm hoping will also help. Take care everyone x

Good morning all. How is everyone? I haven't been on here in a while. My thoughts haven't been so intrusive in a while, but they then slowly moved over to family members but I was still able to keep those thoughts at bay.
However I'm in a terrible state this morning. I've moved house so I'm feeling quite stressed, tired and a little bit overwhelmed. I also read the news about Tom from the Wanted and his brain tumour diagnosis, the exact diagnosis a family friend had earlier this year and which set off my health anxiety again. Im trembling, feeling sick and anxious. I've had pain in my right hip as well as a tight feeling in the right knee. I've slipped into googling, reading emotionally charged stories and seeing sad news everywhere.
I'm the exact same as those who have mentioned:

• thinking it's cancer that's metastasized (I worry I've got some kind of gynae or organ cancer which has spread to my pelvis/bones)
• as soon as reassurance happens I move on to something else
• unable to distinguish between between being aware of normal bodily sensations and whether there is something to be extra aware of

I feel terrible, I just want to cry and I'm feeling scared.

@Mvshrln I know exactly how you are feeling. It was reading about Tom from The Wanted and Sarah Harding that set me off this time around. I did the exact same thing and started reading people’s stories online. It’s a very scary rabbit hole to go down. From experience I know that when you’re feeling how you are, your body is in flight or fight mode so every sensation is magnified and you notice it more. Three weeks ago I was in such a dark place, it terrified me and I was constantly breaking down crying. I’m still super anxious but I have improved and I’ve found that getting out for a walk, colouring and playing Tetris in spare time rather than reading cancer stories has definitely helped me as has finally seeking professional help for my health anxiety. The book I mentioned in my last post is worth a read. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way x

@Lib3rtine thank you so much for your reply. Yes I remember Sarah Harding's diagnosis set me off too actually and I paid for another private breast appointment after that actually :/ I have that book too but I got to the chapter about death anxiety and felt too anxious to continue. I think the Covid world, along with me moving house/thinking about having kids, has set me off into a spin about our mortality etc.
It is a very scary rabbit hole and when I get sucked in I ignore everything I've learnt through CBT, therapy etc. You are so right about doing other things that are more worthwhile than reading the sad stories. I'm going to go out for a walk soon and then read my book and potter about a bit at home. I need to stop drinking alcohol every night and also improve my diet as both of those affect my anxiety. Plus I'm due on my period, and as a few others have said, this heightens anxiety too sometimes. I feel dreadful today though and just can't stop focusing on my hip. Plus my reflexologist asked if I have sciatica and I don't but now I'm like "what if it's something else?". You're right that every body sensation turns you I to fight or flight mode and over magnifies things. My mind feels so so jumbled. Thank you again for you reply, I hope you are ok xx

@Mvshrln sorry to hear you are having a bad day. I'm also one to fixate on news stories of famous people with bad diagnoses. It's almost as if my brain is on hyper alert to anything health related in the news that I then translate to myself or my own symptoms. My Google search history is like a health anxiety car-crash. I just go on and on, delving into patient forums until I find something I can vaguely relate to myself that MUST mean I'm going to have the same thing.

I'm still feeling nauseous off and on, and back ache still bothering me. Don't think lockdown2 is helping one bit, as it just means there's more time to dwell on things and go through all of the worst scenarios.

I have been looking at the No More Panic website and forums and have found some of the threads helpful at times.

@Mvshrln I definitely know what you mean about the covid world and children making you think about your mortality. I have definitely been a lot worse since covid and falling pregnant. I think for me its the thought that its more difficult to see a doctor so I can't just book an appt when I need some reassurance. Its so easy for me to say as I can be rational with other people's worries, but your hip won't be anything serious like you're imagining, the anxiety is magnifying what you're feeling. I do get what you mean though, you question every little thing that is said to you and try and second guess what they mean. I hope your walk and relaxing reading your book is helping xx

@Lolly12 you sound exactly like me and your google history is just like mine too! I've been working from home since March and I definitely think that all the time on my own is fuelling the health anxiety, I just have too much alone time to get lost in my thoughts. It helps knowing that people have successfully overcome this awful condition though so I'm sure we can all do it with the right help and tools xx

Hello all, I hope you don’t mind me joining you. Really struggling at the moment, have diagnosed myself with, ovarian cancer, stomach, lymphoma, pancreatic cancer all in the space of 2 days. Oh and heart failure. I’ve had a tight feeling in my abdomen, also been burping a lot, I think I’m bloated but I really don’t know anymore.

Suffered badly with health anxiety for years now had all sorts of tests carried out, it doesn’t help. The reassurance is so temporary. Don’t know what to do anymore, I try to get out but as soon as im home I’m back to square one. Spent the eve on my phone instead of spending time with the kids :(

@Goolies Hi, sorry to hear how you are feeling. I can completely relate to you as I've done it myself over the past few weeks. Have you got a partner/ husband, can you speak to them about it? There are a lot of self help things out there or you can speak to your GP or do a self referral to your local mental health team. I feel much better now I've acknowledged the problem and started getting help. I know the symptoms you're feeling feel really real but they will definitely be heightened by your anxiety, you feel every little thing magnified because you're looking out for it xx

Thank you @lib3rtine, I’m in a waiting list for therapy, it takes so long, I wish I could go private but just don’t have the means right now. My husband doesn’t really get it, the number of times I tell myself once I get reassurance about this I will behave myself. So many times! I’m right back there again :( only this time I don’t know what I need. I go from thinking I need an endoscopy, to an ultrasound, I flit from one cancer to the other. I’ve tried to keep myself busy today which has helped some.

Hi @Goolies

I have similar current self diagnoses. I am bloated and uncomfortable - probably because I've had a complete change of diet and have been drinking too much red wine - but I started googling and am sitting here in tears when I should be working.

I hate this - I haven't had health anxiety in a long time and it's back with a vengeance 😟

Hi @bringitonbaby I’m sorry to hear your struggling too. Now long have you suffered with health anxiety? It’s awful isn’t it? Sometimes I’m ok and then bam out of nowhere it just takes over.

It’s so easy to be logical when talking to someone else, I can tell you for certain you have nothing to worry about but when it comes to ourselves logic goes out the window

I'm just the same @Goolies I've had it on and off for years but it goes away for long periods and resurfaces when I'm down.

I can speak so reassuringly to others too - shame we can't do the same for ourselves but once the hint of panic sets in I lose all rationality. It's rubbish 😟

@Goolies @BringItOnBaby I am exactly the same, had it since being a child, and it definitely goes away for long periods and then comes back with a vengeance! I can also be rational when speaking to others but not at all when it comes to myself. Hopefully we can all get on top of this as it really is a miserable way to live x

Mine has got so much worse after having my child. Do you guys have a fear of planning? I’m so scared to plan anything ahead, anything! Holidays, days out, I feel like I’m tempting fate. So irrational! X

@Goolies yes to the planning! During bad patches I’ve struggled to think about the next week and have just had to take each day as it comes. But generally, I find it hard to plan things in the future due to the worry I won’t be here or I’ll be seriously ill. Like you know I’m being irrational but doesn’t make a jot of difference.