It will never end

[Playdonut]

I cant do this anymore. I cant bear seeing my kids so unhappy. There is no hope for change. Even the samaritans wont take my call. Suicide is my only way out of this lockdown nightmare.

Hello, sounds like you've got some great advice and glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

Just to add..I'm NHS and we absolutely have capacity for you to call your GP for an emergency appointment. COVID patients are going through 111 not GP surgeries and as a result I've personally found it so so much easier to get a hold of the GP in the morning when I've called about little things with the kids. No more half an hour queues at 8.30am! And you most likely will get a phone appointment rather than having to go in.

Sleep aids from light to heavy, tried and tested.

Kalms one a night
Nytol
Somminex (Boots over counter)
Doctor's prescription if non of above work.

I think you need a prescription from the doctor to take the edge off your low mood. However, if you come out of the surgery without a prescription for whatever reason please go to your local health food shop (Holland and Barrett) and talk to them about St. Johns Wort which I have found work well for me. I'd rather you talk to your Doc first though.
My advice is a back up.

Sorry, just saw your last post Playdonut. I get that you feel that way. I am like that too. If its on a shelf or if I have to ask for it form behind the counter I am alright with it as I still feel in control. However, I would go to the doctor if I get really bad. I really think you need to do that.

Lots of love to you. We are all here for you. Sometimes what we need is someone to listen and hear what we are saying. Mumsnet is here for that. XXXXX

You sound like you are a great mum and you know your children and know what they like doing and how to keep them occupied so I wouldn't listen to your 'friend'. I think there are a lot of parents, people, children who are feeling like you. Myself included.

We are slowly coming out of lockdown. Schools will be re-opening, clubs will hopefully not be too far behind schools, shops/businesses will be re-opening. Life will get back on track.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Have a think about it op. I’m sorry you had to see your mum go through that. Remember what she went through was treating cancer which destroys the body pretty well without any medical help. I took medication while pregnant which was developed for post chemo patients, it helped so much with the nausea. I took other things before that and they helped a bit but this tablet was just like magic. I felt human again. (Albeit a constipated human- side effects were worth it though!)

Hi op I work in a surgery and honestly you should contact them. The Gps are speaking to lots of patients a day and seeing anyone that needs to be seen. We also have a community mental health nurse that you can speak with and in our area you can self refer to talking therapy and have counselling or cbt so they may be options for you ? I had cbt for anxiety I found it really helpful in sorting my worries onto real worries and what were what of worries and it was beneficial for me. There are also online courses of you felt that might work better for you ? Or over the phone. With relation to school only you can make the decision regarding your children as you know them best and what they would or wouldnt cope with and what you feel the risk to your family is. Are your children getting school work to do at home ? My little boy does beavers they are doing zoom meetings are any of your childrens clubs doing anything like this '? Or arrange to do it with school friends ?

@MichaelMumsnet I haven't asked anyone for money and wouldn't even be here if the samaritans would answer the phone!! Fucking liberty!

The zoom meetings just make them cry. Noone has anything to say anymore. I dont think I can take the risk of a pro-lockdown counsellor pushing me over the edge, you cant trust people these days. The kids are awake so I really will go now. Thank you all again xx

Have a good day, Playdonut

Don’t mind Michael mumsnet playdonut they have to put that there, it’s not targeting you. Hope you and the kids have some good times today, and see if you can find out if their school is opening 1 June.

Be realistic. When have you ever known the government to give out money it doesn't have to? They can't afford to continue the lockdown and when furlough stops, people will be forced to return to work or they'll be sleeping in the bus stop. The lockdown will end sooner rather than later. We'll have to be careful and social distance for the rest of the year probably but it wont be like it is now.

Why are your children so unhappy? Sorry if you have said, I haven't read all five pages yet but I will.

Samaritans will always take your call but there may be a longer wait than usual at the moment; you can also email them. Sometimes it helps to write things rather than talk.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and hope it helps to come on here and let it all out. I'll read some more now. x

Playdonut Tue 19-May-20 04:58:39
My teacher friend said if the kids seem depressed then its down to my parenting as I am not doing a good enough job of making things positive for them.
.......
I am appalled at your friend saying such an insensitive and judgemental thing to you but she may regret it, it's possible she was just overwhelmed with things when you spoke.

I do understand why you are depressed, it must be so hard with lively young children at home at the moment, especially if you have no garden. It sounds like you are doing a great job at the moment but obviously you cannot provide the children with the after school sports activities they are used to.

Please do not think this situation will be going on forever, it will come to an end. We just have to hang on until it does - and what a wonderful day that will be.

All the very best to you and yours.

I hope you've had a better day Playdonut

Thank you all. I have had a much better day. We had a nice long walk and I made the kids laugh!! Had a chat on the phone to a more sensible friend who also hates lockdown too! Feeling better and taking all your points on board that it cant go on forever. I will leave you all to be kind to someone else, and post a new thread if I get low again. I seriously cant thank you enough for all your kindness xxxx

Haven't read full thread (yet) but your posts show how much you care for your kids the way you talk about them.

I hope you managed to get some support today

Take care of yourself Op. xx

Glad to read your update, Playdonut.

I’m so glad you had a better day! I hope it’s an amazing weekend - quite jealous of the weather over there (I’m Australian so it’s late autumn here, and I would call your weekend forecast perfect, not a heatwave at all!) It really won’t last forever. Ask your dc what stories you shall tell each other about lockdown a decade from now at christmas- maybe remember all the online workpouts mum found for us to tire us out, or how long my hair grew...

Glad to hear this. Please stay away from ‘friends’ who are not supportive - like vampires, they suck the life from you. Glad you got to speak with a good friend.

Glad you feel better. Lots of love and positive dust to you.
I know BoJo said this today but I like it, something about a beacon of light in the fog. Well, there is a beacon of light. It's changing, we are slowly unlocking, there are kind people around. Look for the light and follow it.

XXXX