It will never end

[Playdonut]

I cant do this anymore. I cant bear seeing my kids so unhappy. There is no hope for change. Even the samaritans wont take my call. Suicide is my only way out of this lockdown nightmare.

Kids are more resilient than we think.
Your kids might find the new school set up weird, but they will be ok. You sound like a good mum, they have you to talk to about anything they find weird and you can reassure them.

It is definitely a positive thing.

Just hard for the Mum who has to tire them out

I'm not sure if kids are resilient or if they have to be because they have no control over their little lives. You are all so lovely, thank you.

Just keep trying the Samaritans. They cannot possibly know who is ringing and it is just potluck. You just need to keep waiting on the line until a volunteer picks it up somewhere in the country.

I’m sure the weirdness of school won’t put them off forever, and if it does there will be plenty of other people in the same boat as them.

Your teacher friend sounds awful, it might be best to not talk to her for a while if she’s going to give bad advice.

@PollyPelargonium52 they hang up after a while. There is no option to hold. It just rings out and then they hang up. I tried 3 times

I think teacher friend just has coronaphobia like the rest of the teachers and they are all just hyping each other up.

Firstly Playdonut, you are not alone and that is not just me saying it. It is a fact. You have 2 lovely children.

the kids were always in sports, with tryouts for top London clubs

So your DC have some major sporting talent. Let me tell you something that is absolutely true. Children don't just cart themselves off to tryouts at top London clubs. It takes years and years of loving support from an invested parent who gives a massive shit about their children and what interests them.

This situation is really, really shit. But you know what, we are over the top of the hill and we are heading down the other side, but we need to go down slowly or you know what happens wen you run down a hill. It's like a pitch black tunnel and then you suddenly see a bit of light. We have to hold out nerve and keep going.

By the way, I've been doing my bit to see the NHS safe for people like YOU. You need to call up your GP first thing and tell them it is an emergency. Anti-depressants are not what you think. They are different now. Mostly they just take the edge off deep, troubling feelings and anxiety so you can think clearly and then make positive steps to improve your life. Honestly, I've been on them, sorted myself out and came off them very easily.

Just to repay that this is a really, really shit situation. Why do you think I am on here at 0525? I've been awake since 2am. One of my relatives has died from Coronavirus and I think I am going to have to leave my DC and go help out hundreds of miles away because it is a real mess. I don't want to say anymore about this as it is outing, but I am sitting here hundreds of miles away, helpless and I don't see any other option. But, even though this has happened, I know that "this too will pass" and I just have to keep going, for a little bit longer.

OP, you need to call your GP and say it is an emergency. This is what WE have been protecting the NHS for and we have done such a good job that they are now advertising for us all to use it!

Do you think that you might be able to get your head down now? Even if you don't sleep, could you listen to a podcast or the radio? I find that helps me loads when I can't sleep and overwhelmed with fear and worry.

You have to talk to your GP in the morning, don't take no for an answer!

I have no solutions for energetic kids, my own are running and jumping all day long. The constant wriggling and fidgeting!

normally I am an expert at sleeping! Can fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow

I'm envious of you! It takes me a long time to get to sleep, then I wake up early. It was just after 4 this morning. The birds are SO loud there's no chance of going back to sleep!. I have diabetes, I'm overweight, I'm over 50, 😫. The sleep (or lack of) is not helping me, but it's my normal.

I sleep better when my OH is here, but we decided to lockdown separately because he has a 10yo who goes between him & his Ex and for various reasons his DS would be quite a risk to me. So I haven't seen them in 10 weeks (I locked down early) 😢

I get offered the flu jab, but I don't have it - but I'd have the CV vaccine. At first I was undecided but after reading a few posts by a poster on here, I understand how they'd be able to do it so quickly but still be safe.

It is worth it to keep calling them.

We are here, but it's not the same as a real person's voice to talk to who is an expert listener.

Your teacher friends sound like dicks. If I were you I’d put them in school 1 june op, it’s not that far away. I think the benefits outweigh the risks. I’m sorry you’re finding it so hard. Ending it isn’t the answer and it would be the worst thing you could do for your kids. Don’t stress about their muscle tone, they are young and will bounce it back again! Have them do burpee competitions to tire them out

I’ve lived in London up till recently and I want to reassure you - everyone I know there would take the vaccine in a heartbeat. There are lots and lots of people who would. And the virus situation is getting much better there. I still have family there, it will all definitely get better than this!

Please call your gp. Tell them what you’ve told us. Don’t be so stressed about drugs either, they don’t tell you things are ok when they aren’t, they help your internal chemicals balance when you can’t do it yourself for a while. When are your kids birthdays? Maybe you’ll be out of lockdown for the next one :)

Sorry OP, just to add a bit more I wanted to say about your DC.

Right now your DC are bored, upset and affected by this quite a lot. That is because your DC are normal, healthy, sporty, talented children who are a credit to you. I'd be surprised if they weren't. It is really crap for them, but this is going to be over soon and they can get back to what they did before, even if it opens up slowly. I have relatives over in Spain and they were in a terrible situation, seemingly even worse than the UK, and now they are going here there and everywhere having been let out of lockdown.

This is crap, but this is temporary. It is moving forward every day. The difference between now and last week is huge. Yesterday I went to the park with my dog and I just sat there for 3 hours. There was no one there. Find somewhere quite, take a picnic and get some sun. The light will do you the world of good.

@RusticaRubra I am so so sorry for your loss. Do you mean leaving the kids unattended or with someone? It's a terrible situation and I really feel for you. Thank you so much for your reply.

I'm on antidepressants right now and they really help me to cope. I still experience joy and sadness, I just don't have anxiety and fear ruling my every thought anymore. I won't be on them forever, but they are working for me at the moment.

@RusticaRubra is spot on Op. x

@timeisnotaline maybe we are from different parts of London. All I am hearing is about Bill Gates and experimenting on black people and microchips. The next birthday is june for me and july for my daughter.

@BestOption I'm so sorry this terrible sleeping is normal for you. Now I've experienced it, I have full sympathy xxxx

@Nihiloxica you are a very lovely person

I forgot (oops) the youngest does gymnastics too - she's permanently upside down 🤣.
My nephew is practising his end turns & stuff 'dry dock' the youngest is walking on her hands Or doing the splits the eldest (14) is permantly bouncing a bloody ball - my sister is climbing the walls!

Don't worry about their education they'll all learn what they need to when school does go back. He won't be 21 & still writing his name wrong!

How old are you? You sound enviously young. Enjoy that. It goes too fast. I have no idea how I got so old (51) so bloody quickly!! 😫

@WinWinnieTheWay I am really glad that they are working for you. And I hope things are better for you today xxx

I'm not young, just immature lol! I'll be 34 next month.

Vaccine - where can I sign up?

Right now people are mistrusting of the government. The thing is though that the government is not the one making the vaccine, they are just paying for it and making it a policy. AstraZeneca are making the vaccine and there is NO WAY they are going to risk their reputation by distributing a dodgy vaccine. Have you any idea how big and how reliant they are on their reputation. They would fold the next day. I'm pretty sire that they will be 100% sure of it before mass vaccination.

As for your teacher friend. Sorry to say that quite a few of us have come to the conclusion lately that SOME teachers are really living up to the phrase "if you can, do..if you can't, teach". My DS is due to go back on 01 June but I'm not sure he will. I will be sending him as he wants to go and it will do him good. However, his teachers think otherwise. They have done f'all since lockdown, not asked about my DC once and moaned when contacted. It seems like they want a very long holiday and how can they get that? Oh I know, by creating the fear of god in parents.

Thank you 🌷. It is pretty awful. People say they 'need' 8 hours, or 'only' got 5 hours last night and are wrecked (and I realise how abnormal my lack of sleep is!) It's just as well I cope on little sleep - but I have NO energy or enthusiasm all day. People keep asking what I've 'done' during lockdown and I'm like 🤷🏻‍♀️ - got through each day. I haven't done anything 'worthy'.

What sort of job were you looking for before?

I know. Their behaviour is so hard to understand. I always defend teachers. I've even justified the fact that we are still waiting for our welfare call! Meanwhile I have a young black boy who hates the police, and isn't getting an education. I hope countrylines isn't still a thing when he hits his teens 😭