can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

didn't set targets today as I had private therapy and then camps family theraoy in one day which wipes me out. Did take kids out to garden centre to buy father's day pressie and then treated them to an ice cream. Feeling rubbish.

*camhs

I'm failing all of mine today. I had my therapy today, too. It wasn't anything particularly bad. (In fact therapist is keen for me to "just keep things as they are" while I'm working all the meds out of my system, rather than trying anything new.) I'm just tired, very low, and utterly distracted with my obsessive thoughts. I haven't even folded away the laundry, which seemed like the easiest little bit. Tomorrow is another day.

wow toffee that's fantastic!

ah Insane like you say, tomorrow.... half if my double bed is covered in collapsed pikes of clean washing that I havent put away for at least 2 weeks. My winter clothes are still in my drawers and wardrobe...

Sounds like you have been very productive @toffeeghirl
I hope your daughter made something nice for tea and you managed to eat at least some of it?

@colouringindoors I think you done more than enough today without adding any targets. I bet the kids loved having the ice cream

@InsaneProbably the laundry can definitely wait until tomorrow.

I managed to clean my bike and do a bit gardening. Gave up on the course work as just kept reading over the same bit without taking any of it in.

My brain is definitely in overactive mode, I know my thoughts are ridiculous but I just can’t seem to shake them off if you know what i mean. It’s like I’m torturing myself.

I wasn’t really expecting my job to be announced as being able to go back at today’s announcement but I think a small part of me was being a little hopeful that u would get the go ahead. So mixed feelings about that.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day 🤞🏻

totally know what you mean about your thoughts running mine are driving me crazy tonight.

Morning. Sounds like we are all going through a difficult phase. Things are getting on top of me a bit. Feeling very low and tearful. Trying to get back to doing some of the things I was pre-covid but don’t feel motivated. So I’m going to head out to the shops: recycle plastic; give something to foodbank; return some clothes; buy some wool; try to return a book.

My three things today are...
Go to the dump (which is making me anxious with all the new rules)
Wash my car
Attempt course work again

ejecoms I’m the same, close to tears all the time and I just don’t have the energy to try and get myself feeling positive again. I wish my brain had an off switch

eye running

I'm realising that my own therapy running simultaneously with family therapy, during lockdown (so no access to some wellbeing tactics) is totally frying my brain.

My therapy to help me recover from over a decade if trauma with ex oh with undiagnosed bipolar inc 2 massive mental health crises) is triggering and opening many old wounds and awful memories. Then unfortunately on the same day I have family therapy with this ex where yesterday it was all about how much his parenting was improving. I got asked how I was. I just said tired. I'm in bed. My son's ptsd related functional neurological disorder has also flared up this morning (his legs are currently paralysed) my daughter keeps asking if I'm OK.

my body automatically responds to engaging one on one with my ex with fear.

Thanks colouring and running.

I'm having another bad day, after not much sleep, so I'm pleased I've already forced myself to:

• Go for a walk despite the rain.
• Sort out that damn laundry.
• Actually cook and actual cooked lunch.

I mean I have also spent time hiding in bed and crying for no reason, but that doesn't undo the other things, right? Going to have a bath now and just try to get through the rest of the day without doing anything stupid.

Colouring that sounds very rough. I think that's probably why many therapists won't want you to have several going on at once. I've tried it several times (my own private one and then seen a different one for some different purpose, eg. fertility counsellor with DH while having IVF), and it's always been a bit weird and overwhelming.

Insane that totally doesn't undo the other things. In fact they're even more impressive given how rubbish you're feeling. Bath sounds good, can you read/watch TV or something after?

Thanks it is rough. I knew it wasn't ideal but didn't want to turn down family therapy after waiting a year... also did want to start trauma therapy. This week has been particularly rough, I feel like my head is exploding. I've done nothing all day. Lunch was from Wenzels, tea will be takeaway. Am due to meet a recently bereaved friend shortly....

Can I join you all please. Currently sat on MN not doing what I should. DH back in 2 hours. He works so bloody hard it makes th guilt of slobbing around so much worse. I let the kids watch tele on a Friday so they are happy right now. But I need to tidy and do dinner.
Don't want to do it. It's so pathetic.

My house also now has a weird smell. Very shameful. It's not that messy or dirty to warrant a bad smell. Very sad.

All your posts are great and you all seem to be really encouraging.

I think I just don't know where to start.

Well after writing this I have hoovered the hallway, stairs, landing and our bedroom and dining room, made a spag bol, washed up and swept the kitchen floor! Go me!
Sometimes voicing what a slob you are can motivate you out of embarresment to do something!! Next is turning off the tele and getung the kids outside to enjoy the sunshine that has just appeared!!

microwave you're amazing!

bloody hell thats about my cleaning for a week 🤣

Anxiety following More bad memories now is becoming uncontrollable

I've been trying a different med Promethazine instead of Lorazepam which relieves the anxiety but doesn't make me feel so drugged up, so I'll be able to take it when I go back to work at the beginning of July.

I'm trying to get motivated to have a shower this evening as I've got to get up early & visit a friend, also got to wrap her birthday present.
I've counted my calories for 3 days & stuck to 1400 calories plus been for a couple of walks. Because I'm trying to build up my physical stamina for work.

I need to do some ironing & vacuuming but that can wait.

I'm just about getting up and dressed, made sausages in bread buns tonight and have enough for tomorrow left.

Hugs to all who needs them. @colouringindoors I also have FND with C-ptsd so I appreciate how hard things can be. I had an intensive course of EMDR which helped but it took 20 sessions to tackle one memory so they stopped at that point as even with twice a week, I wasn't progressing fast enough.

I'd like to join too please.

frogs massive sympathies. My ds 12 has fnd out of ptsd. its so hard. My therapist thinks I have major depression overlaying c-ptsd. I think she's right

teralee that sounds like you've done well on the food and exercise front. hope you managed to get the shower in.

frogs that was my was thinking re emdr (ie slow). I have sooooo many bad memories I sometimes wonder how I can ever get past the last 10 years

anyone up?