March supportive chat thread

[PurpleFrames]

Hi everyone-
There's been some lovely support on a recent thread and I thought expanding it out could get more of us talking?

I have a Drs appointment tomorrow to discuss my second opinion. I'm pretty stressed as I got a call a week ago asking me to come in but I couldn't get an appt sooner- so I made myself a week worrying about what was happening. Services make me paranoid 🙈 I'm struggling not to use negative strategies atm.

Hope there's someone out there x

Thought I’d pop on to say hello
I’m under cmht and have been moving between them, AMHT and shared care with multiple hospital admissions over the last couple of years. I’ve lost my dignity, my job and friends.
I’m diagnosed with CPTSD and am undergoing dbt. I have one to one tomorrow and I’m panicking as I think I’m heading towards another crisis and I don’t know how to stop it.
I bought something very expensive which was supposed to help me but received the wrong thing and I’ve lost the item and about 4K. A bit cryptic but would be too outing. I’m sad and angry

I don't know what to say to her. Welcome, Grumpbum123. I'm sorry you've had such an expensive time I hope you don't have a crisis.

I've got an assessment with a social worker today (student social worker). I've really struggled to get any help at all because I'm not actively going to commit suicide because my daughter is depressed. That's all they're interested in. If it wasn't for my daughter I wouldn't be here anymore. My gp told me there's nothing else they can give me. I'm waiting for counselling but I know sometimes this is just depression that no counselling will change. I don't know how to ask for help and what to ask for. I think I need a proper assessment with someone other than my gp for medication, but I've been told that isn't possible. I don't want to go near my gp surgery now with the virus around anyway as I have massive health anxiety. It's all just too difficult.

Good luck Ijustneed! I'm sorry you're struggling and not getting help. The threshold is so high Do let us know how it goes.

Hi everyone thought I’d pop in and say hi 👋

Just about keeping my head above water. So the stupid person that I am, stopped taking my meds. I wasn’t sleeping properly, started having panic attacks, I couldn’t physically take them, so I gradually stopped

2 weeks down the line I feel like I’m ready to jump out skin, very very iriitiable. Was given diazepam, hasn’t helped. Feeling very racey but lathergic, how that’s even possible god knows, but I ended up deleting fb on a whim last night as that’s not doing me any favours. Everyone around me are saying that I’m not well. I don’t feel unwell? I’m not depressed. My partner wants me to ring my mht but I don’t know what they’re going to do and give me a bollocking for stopping my meds. Started drinking heavily again.

I started them again last night. It’s like I can see the chaos ensuing around me and I’ve got no one to blame but myself

FYI I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar for over a year and I was fine for about 8 months or so then this happened.

Anyway I hope everyone is well!

Hi Bippity well done on restarting your meds. I hope they start to kick in soon.

Hi @UpOnDown Feel like im going to jump out my skin, nervous energy and I can’t stop bloody trembling! And these excitable flutters in my stomach, all very unnerving. I came off fb as I didn’t want to cause any more damage and end up making a tit of myself on it, so thought it was best just to temporality delete it for a bit until I’m over whatever fresh hell this is! I still have messenger though and fighting the urge to talk to everyone on it

Sounds like you're in a difficult place Temp deleting fb sounds insightful. My care coordinator couldn't come in the end, illness in the family.

I certainly don’t feel euphoric that’s for sure.

Oh no @UpOnDown Have you got any strategies in place to help distract you? Or some PRN?

I’m sorry you’re struggling @Ijustneed The system doesn’t make any sense to me at all. A couple of years ago before I was diagnosed with anything I ended up being put under home treatment, I was in a very dark place and took a couple of OD’s as I couldn’t see a way out of how I was feeling. Then a few months later, I wasn’t anywhere near as bad and they admitted me straight away I honestly think it’s a lottery sometimes depending on who you speak to. Hope you’re ok

I've got distractions, mostly tv and internet tonight. I agree re: the system not making sense!

That’s good @UpOnDown and talking on here, is it helping you?

It is ridiculous. I should have been admitted the first time round. Ended up with home treatment instead for 6 weeks. This just didn’t happen over night. I rang 111 way before all of this for weeks telling them I needed help and they just ignored me. I tried everything to keep myself safe until paramedics put me under a temporary section to be assessed by a mental health nurse. Taken away in the middle of the night. You shouldn’t have to get that bad before intervention

talking here helps. I had a similar issue, 3 weeks of police and people saying they thought I needed hospital.

I’m glad it helping you @UpOnDown I think I’ve taken a turn for the worse and I’ve just plummeted into wanting to cry my eyes out. I haven’t cried haha but I want to. Honestly I’m fine though. I Just find it very hard to reach out without sounding needy or annoying. I don’t think this about anyone else! So why do I feel this about myself

I think what turned it for me was that who I considered a friend, who I gave money to so she could get home safe (I was in hospital at the time) and I would do anything for anyone. I made a joking comment about how there should be eye rolls on fb (jokingly) and she commented with such bitter and bitchiness. Humiliating me I’m front of the whole mh group I was in. I felt like my heart had been ripped in two. My mh is a bit wobbly at the moment and that tipped me. She has bipolar and bpd. But I’ve since blocked her now, but I decided to just delete fb because fuck people right? Sorry I’m rambling

Hi all, mind if I join you in here?

I'm still off work (since November), still feeling rubbish, have been tapering off Vortioxetine for a few weeks and will start venlafaxine tomorrow 🙄 Hope the side effects aren't as bad as I've seen on so many posts!

Hugs to everyone who needs them tonight xx

Hello everyone x it's nice to meet some of you for the first time x take care

Thanks bippity. I've been fighting for some help for 6 months now, all I'm told is I'm on the waiting list for counselling. I don't want to go back to my gp, just to be told I'll have to try prozac again or there's nothing else. I certainly don't want to go at the moment, suffering with health anxiety which is sending me into a right panic about the corona virus.

The meeting was a waste of time. She could have arranged cleaners, but could only give me a website address to contact to ask for support. I doubt I'll get anywhere, but I'll email them anyway. I'm just tired of it all. It seems this is how it's going to be, no one can help me get out of this.

Sorry to hear that bippity, that's horrible

Welcome madcatsforever, I haven't tried any of those.

Hugs Ijustneed. do you know how long the waiting list is? Good luck with the emailing.

That’s ridiculous @Ijustneed I can’t believe you have to wait that long. I understand that services are over stretched, but that’s taking the biscuit. I don’t know where you are, but I live in Edinburgh and I never had that problem. I would keep ringing and telling them you need help now!

Yes it was horrible @UpOnDown but I’ve had a good chin wag with a friend who also suffers with bipolar like me, but has been stable for some time now (I’m still learning the ropes haha) and she really helped keep me grounded. I feel a bit better now. I think sometimes, well most of the time, you just need someone there who will listen and offer support and that’s makes a world of difference

How are you feeling now?

The problem is I can't make phone calls, I rely on going in to the surgery to talk to them. I've suffered with depression and anxiety for over twenty years, but no one can help. I've given up now. There's no one else I can ask for help.

Have you asked for a referral @Ijustneed? Keep asking and don’t take no for an answer.

So tonight I took my lamotrigine dispersable tablets. Not sure how I feel about them? Didn’t even have any instructions of how much water to mix with it, which was helpful. I take 250mg and disolved it with half a cup of water. Better than the tablets though. Along with my lithium and quetiapine. I feel I need to give myself a slap in the face. Feeling very lost at the moment

Thanks @BippityBoppity87. Who do I ask for a referral and to whom? I've had a mental health assessment and they think I'm just fine!

Sorry you're struggling

Just a quick hugs to all, good luck with everything.

I would keep asking your gp @Ijustneed. Have you asked about therapy? And detail exactly what you are struggling with

I’m back at work tomorrow after two weeks off. I only work two days a week, but I work in a bar/restaurant and this coronavirus pandemic wasn’t worrying me at first, but now I’m starting to get a quite anxious about it all now. My moods are already a bit fragile, I don’t want to end up having another panic attack at work. I have some proporonol just in case. I think as long as it’s not busy I’ll hopefully be ok

I haven’t been off work for my mental health since last year (March, when I was hospitalised to May) and I don’t want them thinking I’m unreliable I don’t know if I’m fit enough for work, or just see how I am tomorrow

Good luck bippity! I hope it's quiet. Fingers crossed you get through it.

My main concern is that all the offices will shut around us and everyone will start piling in like they did when it was beast from the east. We were absolutely mobbed by 1pm with no staff. If this happens again I might end up having a breakdown