This corona virus is sending me over the edge

[brainfogg]

I know no one can tell me it will be ok but I haven’t had anxiety this out of control in about a year. It’s been managed fairly well with meds and I haven’t had any OCD symptoms in ages but it’s all coming back.

I’m washing my hands obsessively, using lots of hand gel, checking the news every 20 mins, not sleeping, last night when DH got back from shopping I wiped every single item with antibacterial spray. Never don’t that before.

My heart is racing constantly, I’m not getting on with things I need to do, I’m debating ordering masks but read they don’t do much. So then I’m thinking get my immune system stronger but what if it mutates into a virus that causes that overreaction of the immune system? Cykotine storm I think. So maybe I’m better not strengthening it too much.

I have a part time job that involves looking after children and am thinking I shouldn’t go because I’m scared I’ll pass it to them or them to me but we need the money.

Sorry for the very long post. I’m in turmoil and I hate that because it’s so selfish of me, there’s people truly suffering and I genuinely want them not to be. I find this world very hard to cope with.

Dobby, I know how you feel, my Dad passed away in January and my Step Mum in Feb, I've been devastated, but honestly glad they haven't got to go through all this. Bless them. It's such an awful situation. But like LaneBoy says, I'm trying to concentrate on simple preparations in case of isolation. It actually made me feel better. I also went in the garden this morning with a cuppa and sat in the sunshine (until the clouds came) the birds were singing, my dog sat with me, and it was beautiful. Going to paint the skirting boards now and listen to some music, normal stuff to try and keep the panic at bay for a few hours.

Yesterday I was in the garden all day, I did feel better. Today it’s been pissing it down all day. We normally go out for a Sunday day out, but haven’t today.

I’m worried what happens to my DC if I’m ill. Too young to look after themselves. Honestly it’s terrifying me.

Togger, sorry to hear of your parents. my FIL died last year and it was an awful year, I had all my hopes on 2020 being a fantastic year.

Listening to Michael Ball on radio 2, he said we will get through this.

Made the mistake of reading a thread. Feel overwhelmed now! Must go and distract myself. I’ve been doing a lot of journaling and art lately but when I’m in anxiety about this I feel like it’s pointless.

I know, the threads are so full of doom. Step away from them (says me who can’t) I think people get their kicks from terrifying people.

LaneBoy, don't put the art on hold, I know it's hard, I'm the same with photography, I just can't get into it at the moment, but we must try to keep on doing the things we love.

Dobby, thank you, sorry to hear about your FIL. After two bereavements in the first 2 months this year, I thought things could only get better 😒. Sorry, I'm new to this, what does DC mean? Excuse my ignorance. 😚

Dear/darling children togger similar with DHusband etc

Thanks, I need to make sure I prioritise it. I’ve been catching up on my courses today (not academic stuff, I’m doing a trauma one and a parenting one) which at least gave me something to focus on. Therapy tomorrow too which will be good

Dobby, sorry, looked up the abbreviation, it must be so awful worrying about your children, I'm sure if most of us get it we will be fine, we have to try to remember it's a small percentage that sadly get severe symptoms 🙏🤞

Thanks LaneBoy, yes it helps to focus on something doesn't it. Good luck with your therapy

No worries Togger, takes a while to get used the abbreviations.

If someone does this in a post, it means they aren’t impressed or interested in your point of view. It’s a biscuit, Jammie Dodger I think.

Thanks Dobby, I'll look out for the biscuits LOL 🙂

When. Will. I. Learn.

Do not read articles and MN threads, LaneBoy. STOP IT. FFS.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Therapy was great today at least - spoke a little about the anxiety over this but mostly focused on other stuff, as I needed to.

With Borris's announcements tonight, I feel as if it has all got very real. I keep crying but got work to do (i work from home anyway!) and have agreed to do more tonight, so hoping to distract myself

It gets more real and scary every day doesn’t it :( it’s mostly the confusing govt announcements that are getting to me.

DD1’s dance show this weekend has been cancelled. Hoping the other one (early April) that both my older two are in will follow suit but it’s up to the individual theatres I guess.

Glad your therapy went well LaneBoy, this is the only thread I'm looking at, steering away from it all at the moment. I agree Rassy distraction is the way forward at the moment. I have tomorrow at work to get through, then I'm on holiday for 2 weeks, will be glad not to have to be near people. Take care all.

In case it helps anyone... I’m in a European country that has very suddenly over the weekend really locked down. Not as extreme as Italy or Spain but it really felt like everything was changing and incredibly quickly (partly down to poor government communication). I have depression/anxiety and hate change (and was worried about the effect of social isolation) so was in a proper flap for two days. Right now though I’m starting to feel a lot better, so much practical stuff that I was worried about over the past few weeks (and especially over the weekend) is being sorted out gradually. Working from home is being sorted remotely so I should be able to get back to that soon; my psychologist is now doing phone consultations and people are being nice to strangers on Facebook. So... basically one of the things I was most worried about happening happened and it’s actually fine now.

That’s really lovely of you to post.

I’m not sure if I’m terribly worried about lockdown itself in a way. We are fairly prepared and I’m counting my blessings we are in a nice spacious warm house.

It’s absolutely the unpredictability and change that is getting to me. The not knowing, the out of control feeling. So I can see how you are feeling better now that it’s actually happening if that makes sense?

💕

Sorry - I wanted to add, I know there are bigger issues for some people. I also have relatives etc I am worried about, but I wanted to say that some of the things I’d been most fixated on anxiety wise happened and it was fine

Lane boy, yes it was the unpredictability that was worrying me, and not knowing how certain things were going to work. Now, even though probably there will be more changes I feel a lot calmer. Plus, for a long time my default reaction to problems has been wanting to hide at home under my duvet and it now seems like this is legitimately the best way to fix this problem. Which is gratifying.

I completely sympathize with you re the confused government announcements, it isn’t just the uk government that have been struggling with communicating information if that helps.

A very kind friend (and some of her friends) are offering free online sessions to help with mental health at the moment. Some mindfulness, therapy, some meditation - as follows :

I'll offer some breathing/parasympathetic nervous system activation & simple loving kindness practice on Thursday 19 March, 9-9:30pm Central European Time (Amsterdam).

We'll use an online meeting tool called Zoom. It's not necessary to create a Zoom account—5 minutes before we meet just click on the link below, there will be a prompt to download the Zoom launcher (very quick), and that will give you access to our online gathering.

Kimberly's Zoom link is: zoom.us/j/6690481885

I also asked some friends & wonderful teachers if there is anything they felt called to offer now. And the answer was YES! So here are some other very special offerings for you this week:

• Deborah Quibell will lead a "Twin Hearts" meditation, a Pranic Healing practice, which has roots in loving-kindness meditation (or metta practice) and approaches this practice from a more energetic perspective. If you'd like to join, please watch the short video introduction on this page first.

Tuesday 17 March, 7:30-8/8:30 pm Central European Time (Rome)
—Deborah's Zoom link: zoom.us/j/170860478
—To learn more about Deborah or to be in touch, see her website deborahannequibellphd.com

• Davide Piai will share a simple routine that engages our nervous system's relaxation response while training our brain's executive functions. This results in a calmer, clearer and kinder way of relating to ourselves.

Wednesday 18 March, 7-7:30 pm Central European Time (Amsterdam)
—Davide's Zoom link: us04web.zoom.us/j/925031921
—To learn more about Davide or to be in touch, see his website themeditationoffice.com

• Kristin Vikjord, clinical psychologist, will offer a session on how to maintain good mental health during Covid-19 social distancing, including a practice of grounding meditation & "mountain meditation".

Thursday 19 March, 8-8:30pm Central European Time (Oslo)
—Kristin's Zoom link (please pre-register): zoom.us/meeting/register/uJIpcO-uqzwowNcibGXpNAwUY9s9jfcjvg
—To learn more about Kristin or to be in touch, see her website kristinvikjord.com

• Steve Cope will guide simple practices of mindfulness and awareness.

Tuesday 17 March, 7-7:30 pm &
Friday 20 March, 9-9:30am Central European Time (Amsterdam)
—Steve's Zoom link: zoom.us/j/3365019233
—To learn more about Steve or to be in touch, see his website themeditationcafe.nl

• Miriam Hall will lead one of the core practices from Karuna Training, called "Four Step Practice." This is an embodiment practice where we learn to embrace the energy of all emotions - including ones we normally categorize as negative - through our physical sensations.

Sunday 22 March, 10-10:30 am Central Daylight Time US (Chicago)
—Miriam's Zoom link: zoom.us/j/5539252300
—To learn more about Miriam or to be in touch, see her website www.herspiral.com

Since, these are all free offerings, it would be great if you could try to figure out things like time zone correspondences, how Zoom works, etc. by yourself or with friends.

Please share/forward far and wide to anyone you think could benefit.

fuck

Hello to everyone on this thread. I've been okay until this afternoon listening to all the news about Coronavirus. I thought was coping, but now I'm not.

I'm really really scared about the isolation. My mental health problem has been going on all my life. 2 years ago it got really bad. I no longer work. Friends and acquaintances have given up on me. I'm extremely isolated. But I avoid people anyway.

Recently I was starting to get better. My aim/goal was to try and increase my social contacts. Force myself to go out and mix with people even when I don't want to.

Well Coronavirus has f**kd up my plans. For the first time in 2 years I wanna connect with people.

I am feeling desolate, lonely and scared.

Same here, really, really struggling this morning. I cannot stop crying. I am in an at risk group. Worrying that we won't have enough food to last, the lockdown needs to last around 18 months until there may be a vaccine available. I just cannot believe this is happening. I just want things to go back to how they were before.

I am on Mirtazapine, I have a couple of months supply but just read there has been a shortage of them, so thats another worry for me, what about my meds??

I am sat here with the curtains closed hiding from the postman as I am awaiting a parcel, he will leave it around the back if I am not in, so I will retrieve it later, I do not want to have contact with him. This has sent my paranoia haywire. I am a total mess today.