This corona virus is sending me over the edge

[brainfogg]

I know no one can tell me it will be ok but I haven’t had anxiety this out of control in about a year. It’s been managed fairly well with meds and I haven’t had any OCD symptoms in ages but it’s all coming back.

I’m washing my hands obsessively, using lots of hand gel, checking the news every 20 mins, not sleeping, last night when DH got back from shopping I wiped every single item with antibacterial spray. Never don’t that before.

My heart is racing constantly, I’m not getting on with things I need to do, I’m debating ordering masks but read they don’t do much. So then I’m thinking get my immune system stronger but what if it mutates into a virus that causes that overreaction of the immune system? Cykotine storm I think. So maybe I’m better not strengthening it too much.

I have a part time job that involves looking after children and am thinking I shouldn’t go because I’m scared I’ll pass it to them or them to me but we need the money.

Sorry for the very long post. I’m in turmoil and I hate that because it’s so selfish of me, there’s people truly suffering and I genuinely want them not to be. I find this world very hard to cope with.

That’s great news pineapple, well done for going and for accepting the sertraline. I really hope it helps you 😘 The job issue is very difficult, I hope that it’s not too disrupted and that you’ll get though this time. Thinking of you.

How are people feeling today?

I am struggling this week tbh. Got a sore throat today too!

Having nightmares and crying bouts, mainly in the afternoon when alone. its so hard.

How is your DH @OneOfTheGrundys? I hope he’s doing ok and you are as well (as can be expected)!

@Germophobe ugh yes same here with the nightmares and crying bouts. Have you got any support in place?

I rang the surgery today and spoke to the lovely receptionist, actually sobbed to her about how I’m feeling. She was so nice about it and has arranged for one of the Gps to call me on Monday. Then I felt so guilty because she’s facing this every day on the frontline and she shouldn’t have to be dealing with people turning up with corona symptoms.

I’ve read lots of people online saying they’re not willing to disrupt their life for the sake of this virus, I actually despair at the human race. We absolutely should be ok to sacrifice some of our privileges for a short time for the greater good. I can’t help but refer back to one of my earlier posts about a huge disconnect we all have these days, we’re all so damn entitled and selfish and forget that actually we’re animals and can’t just bat a virus away because it’s inconvenient.

Well done for calling the GP, Brainfogg. I cried at my GP this morning too and she was lovely.

I have a number to call to see someone but in the meantime she has given me a list of selfhelp websites. I

llttf.com/ - living life to the full
www.moodcafe.co.uk/ - Fife based but lots of self help stuff
www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/ - only available until the end of april
moodgym.com.au/

She also recommended the Headspace app.

I am also crying and having nightmares involving Coronavirus. Is a comfort that I am not the only one.

I also work from home but finding it hard to concentrate. DH is a contractor and is between jobs which is a worry as well. Even the dog is unwell!

Thanks @PineappleDanish for those links I’m so grateful. Going to have a look through them as I desperately need help.

@Rassy welcome, you’re definitely not the only one, I feel for you and have a lot of empathy. I hope your dog is ok 💖

I’m crying my eyes out right now at this whole situation I just knew it would be like this with Boris Johnson, I had a feeling weeks ago that our government wouldn’t protect us properly. And my efforts are pointless because my DH and DS are getting sick of me going on about hand washing and think I’m paranoid now. I’m totally alone in my actual world with these feelings, only online do I find solace. I’m having horrible dark thoughts and I hate that I am. Can’t see hope

@brainfogg ** Thank you . You are writing everything that is happening to me too.

I’m so sorry @Rassy that you feel like this too. How are you coping through the days? I don’t think my mental health has ever been this bad

@brainfogg I am very up and down during the day. I try and get outside to exercise a few times a week which helps and walk the dog. Also I find doing jigsaws, watching trashy tv and reading Alexander McCall Smith books helps.

Signing in if you’ve room for another. I was doing ok until the last few days when I read what’s actually happening in Italy. Now I’m anxious as hell, and TBH we’ve got a lot of other stuff going on as it is so my MH has been rubbish already.

I don’t feel I can tell anyone IRL how scared I am.

Sometimes I forget - out in the real world everything feels surprisingly normal and I feel ok, and normal, and then suddenly I’m convinced everything is going to fall apart.

@Rassy exercise is good, in fact probably one of the best things right now mentally and physically. We have to find those little things to hold on to.

Of course @LaneBoy glad you found us here ❤️ yeah I think this Italy situation has thrown lots of us and taken us aback. You’re right that if we have other shit going on as well it just adds to that and all seems unbearable. I’m sorry you can’t tell anyone. Please vent as much as you need to on here.

Oh it’s weird isn’t it going out in to the ‘real world’? Everything seems business as usual. Can’t get my head around it.

Sorry not been on. No change here other than im eating non stop to comfort eat i guess 😢. Im constantly on twitter looking at news. Why the hell has boris still not shit schools and work etc. They want this to happen 😭

@Danigirl02002 the best thing you can do is not read the news. I know it's difficult but really it won't make any difference and will just make you feel a whole lot worse.

Not doing too good today after the useless Boris basically said to carry on hand washing!

Even been thinking of checking out now, I just do not have the strength to get through what is coming. I do not think I can bear watching the country fall apart and bodies piling up. I do not think I would survive it anyway, I am 50 with heart condition. My worst fear is not being able to breathe.

and now the experts think that it will return year on year.

Great advice to people who are suffering with a mental health problem.

Calm the fuck down. So helpful. This is why on real life I am too scared to tell friends how I'm feeling. Because of numpty responses like this.

That post is incredibly unhelpful. This is the mental health topic. Not Coronavirus topic.

Pineappledanish I am sure your friends would be supportive,it might really help you to talk to them.
over the years there have been so many times when my friends have helped me,and vice versa

I'm feeling very up and down today. Not sure if it's the sertraline, the anxiety, or a mix of both. Woke very early again this morning, wondering if it's better to take the sertraline in the evening rather than first thing in the morning.

Trying to remain positive and take things one day at a time. It's not forever.

Signing in as shitting it.
To make it worse DD is due to be going on a long awaited UK school residential next week. If me, her brother or she goes down with anything this weekend then she can't go.

I think I might feel better once she's gone and it's midweek. Warm spring can't come soon enough.

Boris speech last night has really frightened me. I’m trying to be normal for the DC, but I’m crying inside. I can’t concentrate on anything. Normal life seems so far away now.

@Germophobe hope you are ok.

I'm feeling quite paranoid.
I'm trying not to give in to the feeling that the government (lack of) reaction is a plot to let the vulnerable die off as it will save them money & keep the economy strong.
Herd immunity is to do with eugenics which Dominic Cummings believes in.

Trying to think they have out best interests at heart but have they paid off the scientists who gave their speeches last night.
Because the WHO scientists are saying completely different things.

I was quite blasé about the virus until this week but not now. I was getting paranoid anyway & this is making it worse.

I’ve thought for weeks that they’ve been inviting it here and known that they want it to spread, their actions made it so obvious. Feel like this government are evil.
I’m feeling like there’s no point in carrying on, for the first time in a very long time.