i feel like shit

[NameChangerNotATroll]

i have a 7mo ds, been married almost a year. when ds was first born everything was great - he slept really well, establishing bf-ing was no problem, he put on weight really quickly. my HV seemed to undermine me at every turn, but it was ok, because i thought i was doing well.

seven months in, he wakes every 2 hours in the night for a feed, he's still in our room, he won't eat solids (BLW or purees) and yes i know that they don't really eat till 7 or 8 months, but my friend's babies are all chuffing it down and sleeping 12 hours in their own rooms or at least in their own beds!

the house is a state - i never seem to get time to do the basic things like wash up or hoover, i usually end up doing some ready meal shit for dinner which i hate because i can cook and i know crappy ready meals are full of salt and fat and aren't going to help me lose weight, so i'm fat and ugly and it's just getting harder and harder every fucking day.

everyone told me that it would get easier at 6 weeks, then at 12 weeks and then at 6 months, but it's more and more difficult. he's sleeping worse and eating less, his weight gain has slowed right down (and yes, again, i know that's normal, but other babies who are 4 weeks younger are 2lbs heavier and still gaining and they're bf too) i'm rubbish at weaning, the only person who can get him to eat is dh and then only purees. every finger food i give him he gags on and then is sick.

there are so many issues here, i should be posting in breast and bottle feeding, weaning, good housekeeping, relationships...god i feel like such a fuckup loser.

i'm starting to think that having ds was a horrible mistake, i'm too young and stupid, and i just want to run away. i've seriously thought about just getting up early (earlier, anyway) and leaving, but i don't have my own income at the moment (unpaid mat leave) and anyway, how can i leave my baby?

i know i may have a mild bout of PND, or baby blues or whatever you want to call it, but i can't speak to my hv or gp, they've already issued thinly veiled threats about SS and i was threatened with a ward of court when i was in hospital. on the one hand, i'm terrified of them taking my baby away, on the other hand i think it's the best thing that could happen.

if anyone has any advice, or help to offer, i'd listen. i'm seriously at the end of my tether and i don't know what to do

fawke - not tried him on the petit filous, but have given him the yeo valley organic ones which he quite enjoys...i should be posting this on weaning really...!

i've had a couple of hours more sleep (with ds in the bed with me!) and dh has actually tidied up the kitchen, which is nice. still feel like i could sleep for a week, but we'll see how tonight goes. last night ds slept from half 10 to half 5, which is brilliant for him, but i was still really grumpy this morning!

thanks everyone for the advice, as i said before just talking about with you all really helps. xx

namechanger at your medical team. sounds like you are somewhere 50 yrs behind the rest of us.

I very rarely post this but I have had pnd twice and have never used meds. Each time things have got better at around 12 months.

Sleep is a major thing - get as much as you can. Also maybe a good vitamin supplement to keep up your energy levels.

Housekeeping you just have to let go. You keep the bits clean that you have to.

My baby ds is 14 months and has only just stopped gagging on finger food. He likes really runny purees. It may be your ds has a sensitive gag reflex too. He'll outgrow it. If he'd been my first I'd be panicking but he's my third so I'm pretty chilled.

Good luck!

well dh has taken ds out for a walk cause i've completely failed to get him to sleep. he usually nurses to sleep, but there must be a better way. he used to settle himself with his dummy, but he's stopped wanting that anywhere near him now - cries if i put it anywhere near him. i know it sounds like teeth but he's been like it for weeks now, surely his teeth can't be hurting him that much?

i had a half idea that dh might be taking him away forever, and part of me thinks it's a great idea. the other part of me is seriously considering walking away, but where would i go?

Oh namechanger - I can only urge you to seek out some support and find a decent GP. You shouldn't have to suffer the pain of feeling like this

Please change doctors and find one more caring and supportive - you deserve to stop feeling like you are sinking, you clearly love your boy and you can feel better. People do come out the other side I promise.

Namechanger, I have seriously considered fucking off, with or without my girls, just recently. I don't think either of us would actually do it tho.
To the gagging, he will get better, instead of giving stuff for him to bite off, give him very small cubed things, too small to choke on , but big enough to have a bit of a chew on.
Try cheese, or grapes, peeled and cut small, or banana.

I hope DH gets the job and you can move, until then just remember you wont be there forever. It will get better.
He is probably old enough to let him cry a bit now to sleep. I can't do proper cc either, but give her 3 or 4 mins, 5 tops, then go in stroke head. Shhhhh, etc

Gibbon - i will phone the gp tomorrow i think. i can ask not to see the one i saw before. the other gp i saw (before i got pg) was very dismissive of depression, seemed to think ad's were the answer. i don't want ad's, and usually as soon as i say that to a doctor they lose interest. but you're right, i need to speak to someone.

see you in the teashop.

ds is nearly 2 and hes still teething, has been since 5 months old.....if hes this grizzly then give him some bonjela, use the baby stuff because you can use it more frequently and gey some baby nurofen as it helps with the pain and the swelling of the gums

NameChanger, when I spoke to my gp about alternatives to AD he recommended Bachs Rescue remedy.

Ensure you get enough vitamin B (buy a vitamin b complex or a good multi vitamin). B vitamins helps the nervous system.

Have a good diet of fruit and veg, drink plenty of water. It helps...

I read what you said about your circumstances, fingers crossed for the new move and the possibility of a better house.

Try to let your dh put baby to sleep. Mine would sit next to the cot and just stroke him and talk softly, gently and comfortingly to him. Let him get used to a nice plush soft toy. Further down the line, the familiarity of the soft toy might help baby settle and comfort.