Considering suicide or sex work because of debt

[Clusterfukt]

I’ve started this thread six times today. I am yet to get out of bed.
Last night I finally stopped burying my head in the sand and opened all my letters from creditors that have been building up on the hallway table.
I also looked at my credit report and have calculated almost £10,000 worth of unpaid debts.
They’re all chasing me and I can’t cope anymore.
In addition to that I also have
£2700 council tax debt
£800 of water charges debt
£1000 British Gas debt
The only thing not in debt is my rent payments.
I work full time on a zero hours contract when work drops off I earn nothing.
DH was made redundant 18 months ago and hasn’t done enough to find a new job.
Everything is on my shoulders everything.
I hate myself and haven’t stopped crying all day.
We have 3 DCs
After all outgoings I have zero left to pay debt. Zero.
Death would end it but I can’t do it to my children. Sex work would destroy me but I feel like I have no choice.
DH has taken the kids to his mums for a few hours while I’m buried in my pillow just sobbing.
I hate myself and want it all to end. I’m so trapped and such a failure. My hair is falling out through stress, my weight is plummeting and I feel like I’m wading through quicksand when I get up. I’m vomiting intermittently and my head is pounding. I just want to die.

Have a look at the Money Advice Service website too.
You need to make it abundantly clear to your DH that you cannot live on fresh air and if he doesn't get a job, any job, then you cannot afford the rent.

Aren't these your dh's debts too, in that they are incurred for the family?

Is there any reason why he cannot be the one sorting out the debts (or at least writing the letters for you to sign and doing the research/legwork for you) whilst he is 'looking' for work.

I recommend this organisation (and so does Martin Lewis)

capuk.org/i-want-help

This sounds like typical depressive behaviour OP. There’s a lot of advice here but number one - the “put on your oxygen mask” one - is go to the doctors ASAP and tell them you’re depressed and why. I had to do it, dreaded it but my load immediately lightened and they couldn’t have been nicer.

Step 2 - have you checked about CAB drop in yet? If not do that.

And no more sand.

StepChange helped me, you could also Google see if there is a local charity that could help, my local church help people in debt. You need to remember you are not the only person in this position, you don't need to be embarrassed, these people will have heard much worse and seen people in much more debt. Once you have taken the first step it becomes much easier. Good Luck OP and stay strong! Xx

If you only earn £800 and you have three kids there is no way you earn too much for him to claim. You need to get both benefits and debt advice ASAP. He may not want to claim uc because he will be required to prove he’s looking for work?

It will get better. Please take on board the advice people have given.

For any utility debt - all companies have a trust fund that you can apply to , for your debt to be cleared. I was in dire straits last year due to a manic episode and not paying my bills - I applied to the trust fund and also to the water board and both sets of arrears were cleared for me. There is help out there - plse don't lose hope and don't ever give up x

Speak to step change they are fantastic and will help you set up a realistic payment plan. They work out with you what you can realistically afford to repay, speak to the creditors or you and help you set up payment plans. I know its hard and I used to just stick my head in the sand and ignore letters but it's not as scary as you may think. Also see if you are entitled to any working or child tax credits.