I need an idea on how to stop feeling overwhelmed quickly without having to speak to a doctor.
Have been to docs 2 times and lied about minor ailments because too scard to say i feel suicidal and increasingly so.
Have a balcony so jumping wpuld be easy. I used to lock the door and throw the key out there but doesnt lock anymore
Husband away until friday and i have 3 small children inc baby
Canot stop crying dont want to leave them but cant be wigh thwm either.
Scared to tell gp incase it goes on my dbs check and affects my life .
Ha as if i am worried about doing the deed and living to have a better life at the same time.
Mumsnet please dont delete me agaim
I cant call samaritans and actually speak. I just choke up.
I just need ideas on how to stop feeling this way quickly.
No friends and no family to speak to.
Only husbamd who has started workinh away. I had to quit my volunteer job for experience after 4 minths and only 2 hours a week
I also applied to finish a levels and eventually go to uni. Etc. Worked it out wth hisband and it was great. Havent been out of the house without him really since first child born.
He is alcoholic but a good man
But breaks things but so do i.
He has more responsibility at his job and i have had to quit my dreams and my 2 hours a weel at volunteer job. Didnt even get to hgivr notice.
I miss it and feel even more trapped than before.
Husband is back once or 2x a weel flr aprox 12 to 16 hoirs. Not even whole day. He sleeps and plays games and moans about washing. I camt control the kids ans cant evem be bothered to dress or waash or eat and i forgot to give son his medicine and didmnt realise we hadnt eated until 12 todau.
I am not in right mind to care for kids. I forgot to give them fucking breakfast.
I really need some ideas on how to feel better right now because mykids need me to make food and stuff but i feel like a zombie i cant egen hear them properly it feels like a radio in thr other room.
Im not calling a and e because i wont be able to call. Physically. Or talk
Same with samaritans.
I also wamt to leave hisnand but no idea how to
I am 23 lwft college for pregnancy at 16 and i dont even have a name anymore. Just mommy.
Family members havr commited suicide and have very serious mental health issues on one side of familu.
So i am predisposed to be a good suicide committer. Its in my genes.
Spoke about it to husband but he left me with the kids anyway. I told him i feel like i could kill myself. I am very open with him about it but i dont think he understands. I wpuldnt leave the kids with him if he said even the first sentence.
He didnt say anything to doctor when i lied about havimg flipping pain instead of feeling depressed and suocidal.
I cant ask for help. I just cant do it.
My kids are cottoning on that mommy isnt well and always cries
Feel sick and scared