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Original poster

To ask whether you could give up your foremost passion?

128 replies

AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 00:20

In order to maintain your health?

Physical analogy would be no more sky dives as you've already broken 4 limbs.

Think having to not experience anything strong in the emotion department in order to keep you stable. You know that when you deny yourself this, you are better, but the expense to you is huge........

OP posts:
Flyingfish2019 · 27/04/2019 00:21

Yes. I would. As a mother I would. Why are you asking?

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 00:23

Because it's something I'm going to have to give up. And I don't know what I am without it. Alive I suppose.

OP posts:
Flyingfish2019 · 27/04/2019 00:26

What is intifada I may ask? Actually I cannot think of anything that important to me that I would be nothing but “ if I gave it up.
Do you think you could find something that means as much to you again?

Flyingfish2019 · 27/04/2019 00:28

*What is it if I may ask. Sorry for my autocorrect.

WhoEatsPopTarts · 27/04/2019 00:31

Maybe the way to look at it is the same way you would treat introduce a new habit, it’ll take a little time but soon it’ll feel completely normal.

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 00:35

Look, I just have two options. One looks grey and stable and normal, the other looks like a rainbow and unstable. I know that this thing affects me, but I can't just turn it off for ever. I will be miserable, if stable.

OP posts:
Flyingfish2019 · 27/04/2019 00:40

Do you have children?

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 00:53

Do you have dogs?

OP posts:
chipsandgin · 27/04/2019 00:54

Drugs? Alcohol? I’m presuming that is what your post is inferring & if that is the case you’ll definitely find another perspective from which the world isn’t grey without whatever it is & you wouldn’t be miserable forever - you’d just need to come out of the other side (not easy but definitely possible).

Same goes for toxic relationships & dangerous pastimes. Without knowing what it is though it’s hard to advise - but whatever it is it’s unlikely to feel the same as it does in the moment as it will further down the line, Time & a bit of perspective help most things...there are lots of rainbow opportunities in life which don’t wreck you!

Contraceptionismyfriend · 27/04/2019 00:54

Yes I would.

If you have children you have a moral duty to ensure you are there for them.

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 00:57

It's not an addiction. It's not drugs, not alcohol.

I asked a question, not for you to play a guessing game.

I asked whether you could give up the one thing that makes your life worth living more or less.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 27/04/2019 00:58

You can created a false dichotomy to justify your ‘passion’.

Cheat, or don’t cheat, but don’t pretend one was black and white and one was a rainbow. It is always more nuanced than that. You are just pretending to yourself out of lust.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 27/04/2019 01:00

I have. Twice. It was the right decision.

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 01:00

WTF?

OP posts:
Nnnnnineteen · 27/04/2019 01:00

I know someone who went against medical advice and did the thing they really wanted to. It went the way she hoped it would not and she now has a life long disability as a result. Part of her is glad she tried, the other is gutted it back fired. Her life will never be the same again.

slipperywhensparticus · 27/04/2019 01:03

Your asking questions without context refusing to answer if you have children we are asking because your life will directly effect theres so if you have no ties no children no one to hurt go for your rocky rainbow but not at the expense of others

RosemaryHoight · 27/04/2019 01:07

Well I would value spending time with family over anything else. What is going on with you?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 27/04/2019 01:07

Is your passion being passive aggressive and bitchy. Because I can see how that could be a risk to your health in RL.

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 01:07

I asked YOU the question. Not what you'd do if you were me.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 27/04/2019 01:08

Can you get hypnotised to forget about the "thing"?

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 01:09

It's a simple question.
Yet nobody has answered it!

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 27/04/2019 01:10

Many have answered it.

Original poster
AuldJosey · 27/04/2019 01:10

Lol, no, I don't think hypnosis would remove the thing from my brain.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 27/04/2019 01:12

No, but the thing that matters to me the most isn't something anyone could reasonably ask me to give up.
It depends what you are obliged to give up, and why. If it's something that is going to damage your health, then bear in mind that your body belongs to you, not the state, or your parents, or a partner, and if you want to shorten your life, it's your choice to make. People might say that you have an obligation not to die if you have young DC but not everyone gets that choice as it is.
If it's something like music/art that your family want you to pack in because it's costing more money than it's bringing in ie they want you to get a paying job, bear in mind that you should still be able to squeeze out some time to carry on with it.
If it's someone you are having sex with when one/both of you have Officially Monogamous Relationships with other people then bear in mind that the other person may decide to give you up and you will have no control over that.

Ultimately, it's probably better to look at the whatever it is and why you are supposed to do without it, and see what compromises you can make, or whether the risk attached to it is less than the benefits it brings.

JaneJeffer · 27/04/2019 01:13

It's more baffling than Boswell! I'm thinking your sex life but I daren't ask Grin