*i need this discussion*

[aintnoregular1]

I’m not too sure what I need and what I feel I will benefit from reaching out to Mumsnet.
My day looks a little bit like this:
9am - I am bloody amazing and quite frankly untouchable
10am - i give up and want to die
1030am - I’m looking good today (everyone is totally checking me out).. strutting around
11am - going to go and end my life
12pm - singing along to music in the car feeling on top of the world
1pm - I want to die but don’t want to hurt my family
2pm - being mischevious at work and laughing with colleagues whilst feeling elated
3pm - can’t even think about making it to tomorrow

So you can see where my frustration and confusion comes from. It’s exhausting and I want to know what’s going on.

Never taken medication?
But sometimes you need to.
See what the GP suggests though.

All we do - Oh wonder

OP speak to your GP.

I think people are always laughing at me

Have you spoken to your GP yet?

I haven't been able to get an appointment. I know it's probably frustrating for people to keep saying I should go and see a DR. It's not that I'm not listening I just don't find it as easy as that. I also need to be careful how much I say because of my job

You need to get an appointment ASAP. When is it booked for or haven’t you tried yet? And your job is much more at risk if you leave these issues untreated.

I want to speak to people who aren't drs

I just wanna say it sounds exhausting and I'm sorry you feel that way.

It is, but sometimes it's not. I channel my energy in an intelligent way. Thank you for your message

I am trying to add caffeine to my diet

You mentioned you like music... could you join a group of some kind? I have felt similar to what you described and found music helps distract me and also feel part of something bigger than myself.

Caffeine isn’t the solution. You must speak to your doctor. Then maybe talking to others will be useful.

That's a good idea. I think things are rapidly improving anyway

You need to see a doctor in real life. There’s great support on here but it shouldn’t be s substitute for seeing a medical professional.

Okay I'll do that. I've never been on mumsnet before but it's great. I could spend hours on here. Thank you

I have seen people say about BPD in this thread. What does that stand for, what is it and how do you get it?

Please speak to a doctor OP.

"I want to speak to people who aren't drs"
"I think people are always laughing at me"

This sounds like paranoia which is another symptom of BPD (which is Bi-Polar Disorder). It isnt something you "get", it's something you are born with and that medication can help with.

I know that my life's not all that bad

I will go from thinking I'm the best thing since sliced bread and then in an instant be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts about death

So see your GP. Your life doesn’t have to be “bad” to suffer from MH issues.

Very true. What are other people's experiences

Why are you asking for other people's experience?

It sounds like borderline personality disorder- google it.

Then GO TO YOUR GP and show them your first post in this thread, if you can't talk to them.

You sound very ill.

or perhaps you're a journalist on a fishing trip for a story.

A phishing trip for a story? Does that really happen on here.

No. I am not on a phishing trip I am a normal person using Mumsnet to talk to other people and get advice. I'll go to the drs and end the thread here.