Health anxiety

[Dollsandfoo]

Hi am new here but just wondering if there are any other health anxiety suffers here . I have had it for years always worrying about my health I prod and like my body for lumps untill I hurt myself then convince myself some thing awful is wrong. Then in Oct 2018 I started with this awful tension headaches it's right at the top of my nose between my eyes. And it does affect my vision aswell. This has sent my anxiety into over drive and I kept taking myself off to the hospital and the docs. I had lots of tests done and a ct scan and all been fine and I had a eye test all fine. Doctor says it is all down to my anxiety but am finding it hard to believe this. Has anyone else had this. ?he started me on sertraline been taking 25mg for almost 5 weeks now and some days I feel it helping then others am a mess with worry. I am also going to CBT which is in helping yet but hopfully it will. Thanks for reading

I had no idea stress and anxiety could affect the eyes. It seems to have a massive impact on so many things.
Right now I have a big bruise developing on my thigh and no idea how I did it so I am panicking a bit.
Sorry to hear so many are suffering. Health anxiety really is awful.

@namechanged86 that sucks. I do bump into stuff all the time and forget (especially getting up for the loo at night so hopefully it’s just things like that)
I had a bit of a meltdown today because the lymph node behind my ear is slightly enlarged - I’ve already been to see the doctor about this who said it wasn’t one I needed to worry about and that it was probably just fighting off infection (I had a bit of a sore throat/cough after Christmas) but now it’s come back up again I’m naturally convinced it’s linked with my eyes and a sign of something terrible.

I wish I could just be normal about these things and not freak out all the time - does anyone else find it exhausting to have a constant war in your mind between the obsessive cycle and the rational thoughts? I permanently feel like I could cry, just feels to hopeless that I will ever get out of it.

@ohheyfreakingout I feel just the same. I am terrified all the time. Constantly obsessing about my body and then trying to rationalise things. I am very scared and feel like I am living on borrowed time. I am close to tears tonight with the anxiety the bruise has called. Your lymph node is probably just enlarged because you are fighting a minor infection but I know how these things can be so worrying.

Caused not called.

Have you had any counselling or therapy?xx

@ohheyfreakingout I haven’t yet. I think I really need it but I am on the waiting list and haven’t been on long so it could be a while before I hear.

@namechanged86 I hope you get it soon I’ve only had a couple of sessions but it’s already helping me a bit - despite the meltdowns.
I became obsessed that i could feel the nodes in my groin a minute ago - obviously if you really press and prod and don’t have a lot of extra layering you’re going to feel them! They’ll probably flare up now because I’ve been poking them.

My therapist has given me a few exercises for the what if panic cycles am happy to share if you want to try? X

@ohheyfreakingout I would love it if you are prepared to share them. I am willing to try anything that may help at the moment.
Ooh I hope your lymph nodes don’t flare up but if they do hopefully you can reassure yourself they’ve only done it because you’ve prodded and poked them.

@namechanged86 so the main one is to focus in the moment as opposed to the what ifs which are in the future.
So when you think “what if this bruise means Xyz” acknowledge the thought as an anxious thought. So actually think “that’s an anxious thought” and then focus on what is real and true in that moment
So be still and listen and think I can hear the breeze/rain. look around and think there are flowers on the table, they are white. the table is wooden. there are four chairs. then “I can hear my breathing” and focus on your breathing.
It sounds cheesy but it really works. sometimes the what if will pop back up immediately after and I have to do a few more cycles of focusing on what’s around me but it does centre me a bit.

A lot of health anxiety is apparently about control and focusing on the now on what is actually fact gives you something to grip on in the whirring thoughts.

There are a few others I will type them out tomorrow when I dig out the print out hope that’s ok x

Sorry I don't know how to tag you ohheyfreakingout. But the thing with my eyes lasted months well over 4 months . It's only been the past 2ish weeks it's got better. I had to wear my reading glasses pretty much all the time for a while as it helped a little. I am trying so hard these past few weeks not go Google x

Thank you @ohheyfreakingout That’s really helpful and I will try to practice that.

@dollsandfoo that’s ages! Poor you! I am hoping my referral doesn’t take long although I am terrified by it at the same time.
last night I was freaking out because I felt all twitchy as I was falling asleep - limbs kept twitching and this morning by eye is twitching. I KNOW this is mainly triggered by anxiety and stress but I almost always seem to gloss over this.
I did the exercise I mentioned above and it helped bring me back a bit. going for a massage this morning and hoping it helps.
I keep having an ache in my calf muscle which I think is related to a previous running weakness in my piriformis but hey, it gives me yet another thing to worry about.

How is everyone today?

Does any else feel quite shaky and frail when they are going through a bad time with HA?

Hey
I was going to start my own thread on health anxiety but decided to post here instead.. it’s reassuring to see I am not alone as a lot of ppl think I am crazy with the way I think when it comes to my health.

I too am going through a flare up of HA atm and have spent the last two days on google on Wednesday when I got home from work I think I just spent about 4 hours straight on there completely working myself up. This latest bought has been triggered by an abormal smear in October last year that showed high risk hpv had a coloscopy all was fine no treatment needed discharged back to regular screening was told I didn’t have the most serious strains 16&18 and not to worry at all. Was told it was completely my choice wether I told future partners as the strain I had can basically do notning to men as oral and penis cancers even though very rare are caused by strain 16. Was told it would very likely clear on its own as I am in my 20s and don’t smoke.. have been told this by several health professionals and advisors from Jo’s trust and cancer research. For a few months I forgot about it but those with Ha know that anything can trigger it being a tv programme a news article etc and now I’m beside myself again thinking it’s never going to go and it will develop into cancer. Even though I know from reading on here so many women have been through this as well with their smears.

Like others have done I will list what some of my health anxiety fears have been over the years.

1. When I was a teenager I would have a fear and obsession of unplanned pregnancy I would always come on late and would convince myself I was pregnant and be terrified even if I hadn’t had sex that month.. I had never even had unprotected sex at this point.

1. HIV was a massive one for me and it went on for years I convinced myself I had every single symptom and I was absolutely terrified to get a test wound spend hours on google my friends thought I was mad! I did get a test eventually and was a wreck in the waiting room which was negative but the fear came back if I had a new partner even if condoms were used. Recently it came back again even though was in a long term Rship.. however I decided to not let this control me and I went and got a rapid hiv test done the same day. Negative.

1. Probably the one I don’t really tell ppl but I saw someone else on this thread say it.. mental health I convinced myself I had schizophrenia or physcosis and I was even referred for an assessment !! Obviously to be told I was completely fine and ppl who have this don’t know they have it and think there normal. This went on for about a year and was probably my worst ever spell of HA. I didn’t want to do anything at all and was really by myself.

One day I saw on my doctors screen by accident they had written down I had extreme hypochondria I wasn’t too impressed with this but none the less it’s true.

I did have CBT years ago and I am now on the waiting list for more and it did help a lot and they told me by all means to stay off google but it is cycle as you all will know you go on there to seek reassurance but see something that scared the hell out of you and makes you 10 x worse ! I tend to read forums and will listen to what ransoms say in there then the actual NHS websites with factual information.

When I got my smear results I sat on google literally the whole night and I didn’t sleep one wink and couldn’t go work the next day. My partner at the time (now ex for other reasons ) actually had to have a go at me and say wtf are you doing.. he has Crohn’s disease and handles it very well wouldn’ catch him on google or forums he’s been hospitalised for it in the past and had a stoma and had extremely bad flare ups despite all this is a way more positive person regarding health than me. It caused a massive argument cos he didn’t know why I was googling and working myself up he told me not to worry my coloscopy would be all clear and it was.. but now I can’t get the HPV thing out of my head as I’ve read loads of forums on it where ppl say different things.

Does anyone have any tips on what they do when they feel there getting bad.. I feel like I can’t stay of google !

Xx

Sorry to post again but thought this maybe if help for some people. I know from reading the thread many of you have done CBT but for those who haven’t you can refer yourself via this link

beta.nhs.uk/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/check

It is free and all you need to do is be registered with a GP. I referred last Sunday had my assessment this Monday was accepted and am now on a waiting list it is 5 weeks unfortunately but I live in London so maybe longer for me

Xx

@Lucy299 I’ve found googling my symptoms but adding anxiety on the end if I HAVE to google helps.

Are there specific symptoms you are worrying about or is the outcome of the smear that’s hanging over you?

@oheyfreakingout I don’t really find googling helps me at all it defiantly makes me worse but I can’t stop.

It’s the fact my smear had high risk hpv that is worrying me even though I’ve been told the facts and my coloscopy was clear. I worry it won’t go and will develop into cancer

Wow nearly all of these posts could be me. I lost both parents quite young, both from cancer, so I constantly feel I am waiting for that inevitable day and scanning myself repeatedly for anything that could be a symptom.

I have in the last few months felt like I'm on the verge of panic attacks and am used to having physical symptoms from anxiety but always worry each time they could be real. I'm also aware that the constantly hyped up state I'm in is actually bad for the immune system so this freaks me out too - it's a vicious circle.

Love to all you fellow sufferers - it's nice to discover you here. I just wish there was a magic wand to make it go away. I've never tried medication but am interested to hear from some of you how successful it's been.

xxx

@lucy299 I’m so sorry that’s so hard - I posted an exercise my therapist gave me upthread, it seems a bit trite but it does work for me sometimes I have to give it a few goes.
@sukisydney hi! You’re definitely not alone. Sorry to hear about your parents that must hAve been hard. I think mine stems from a termination for medical reasons I had to have at 20 weeks pregnant due to a really unusual defect - stats and people saying things are really unlikely to happen do not reassure me any more, in fact they make me more convinced my anxious thoughts are right.
I think it’s easy to mistake our anxiety as intuition and then it becomes difficult to know when to trust yourself - I know that’s the case for me anyway.

Thanks for the reply @ohheyfreakingout - that must have been heartbreaking for you - I can empathise with that feeling of once you've had something happen to you that is against the odds, statistics start meaning less and less to you... The OCD comparison earlier on in the thread rings true for me - I think HA is definitely a pattern of behaviours that we keep reinforcing without intending to. I remember seeing my dad's hair falling out - after he died when I was 7yo I started checking regularly to see if my hair was falling out (and therefore in my 7yo head "did I have cancer too") - that's when it started, so 30 years of habit forming is very hard to undo - I'm pretty sure I'll always have it. I'm starting to find ways that help, but when it gets bad I still feel pretty powerless and it consumes me.

@Melly89 so glad I found this thread and your post! My HA started weirdly just after my dad had a stroke recently. I had to call ambulance and it was a bit traumatic.

I am often googling stuff and getting panicky as always seeing the worst! Currently also have the MS worry due to some numbness and tingling - my friends mum had it and a friend of a friend has just been diagnosed so I am constantly obsessing over it and feel like am going nuts!

Hi everyone just read through this thread and can relate as I have health anxiety. The thread seemed quite busy then nothing since feb :
Currently having a flare up so any advice/support would be appreciated!!

@Worrier4283 - this thread has been inactive for a while but I'm here if you need anything. I know how hard it can be. xx

@littleflybuzz - I have always suffered to an extent (unknown) with compulsive thoughts and OCD. Untill my dad collapses in front of me which hugely triggered my HA. I have my first CBT appointment next week (paying!) as we are about to start IVF which as you can imagine is throwing a whole new ball game into the mix. I make sure I take regular walks; sit outside when I can reading with my dogs and generally have to say things such as ‘I’m ok’ ‘I don’t need to work today’ and there is no need to feel anxious today. Obviously I had bad days but mine is mainly centred around sleep and night time. Constant storm in my chest/tummy

Hi, does anyone else get swelling of their arms and legs and could this be an anxiety symptom? All observations and blood tests ok at drs. Thank you x