Family of 5 in one bedroom... illegal overcrowding?

[Skysha]

Hello all, I'm new to this. So I have a quick question and can people be mindful with being offensive as I suffer from post natal psycosis and negative comments can hurt deeply.

So I live in a one bedroom flat with my husband, 5 year old son and twin girls who have just turned one.

According to the overcrowding 'law' we are overcrowded as we have equivalent 3.5 people living in what they would consider two bedroom since the living room can be slept in.

I was wondering if anyone else has been in my situation or any advice on what I can do would be great. Due to my mental health since I've had my girl I have had the social workers, perinatal team, crisis (home treatment team) and now the early intervention psycosis working alongside me. Truth be told my mental health is a bigger problem then housing but it's getting very overcrowded now.

KirstAllsopsFatterTwin
What has the op's birth control to do with you?

@KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin

Well if you must know me and my partner use condoms ok would you also like to know how often we do it so you can advice me on that too? This thread was about housing not for people to ask me what birth control I'm using.
And in the previous post I'm sure most would understand that I am on birth control. And there are various ways of birth control. And if you must know if I was to get pregnant again I'd get rid right away. My sanity means more than having another baby right now. But thanks for showing that much interest on if I'm planning on expanding my family. And even if I was what would your unwanted opinion do to change that?

@tierraJ

Thank you for your response. I didn't actually realise until I joined Mumsnet how cruel some mums can be. There's some random woman on here obsessed to know if I'm taking birth control.... Another weird one asking me why doesn't my DH pay for a private accomodation even though I'm mentioned im on sick leave and we have three little mouths to feed and that's expensive as it is. Iv realised posting about my issue was helpful to a certain degree but alot of comments are horrid and telling me I have no priority when the council are more than happy putting me up further. The council are there to help people and bit everyone comes from a wealthy background. Who knows in a few years time I might be able to afford to buy my own place but not yet. I pay my council taxes so does my family that have their own property so why should I be questioned and told to be grateful for having the council to help in the first place?

I'm sorry to hear about your health I'm on the same tablets as you and was on quetpine before. I will be taking meds again because it's been getting worse and thanks to this useless post IV been up more of the nights. I have post natal psycosis and they are exploring personality disorders, bioloar and schrizo. Yeah I think I will be taking my medication because the HTT came over today again and iv agreed to take it again. Will give ago another two more weeks from now.

They aren't obsessing they are asking questions, which they are entitled to do

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking what your DH is doing about your situation.

@SillySallySingsSongs

He sings silly songs 🙃

Well if you must know me and my partner use condoms ok would you also like to know how often we do it so you can advice me on that too?

Excellent, thank you. No more babies you can't find space for and no more on your plate while you are very mentally unwell.

I'm not interested in other aspects of your sex life, but thanks.

Excellent, thank you. No more babies you can't find space for and no more on your plate while you are very mentally unwell.

I wish she hadn’t responded at all, it’s absolutely none of your business. Your posts have been so patronising.

And in the previous post I'm sure most would understand that I am on birth control. And there are various ways of birth control. And if you must know if I was to get pregnant again I'd get rid right away.

Well it wasn't obvious, no. And by 'various ways' if you mean the rhythm method or the withdrawal method, they are useless and I was hoping you would say you were not relying on either of those, because they are not proper, reliable birth control. That would obviously be very bad news for you in your situation, hence why I asked.

Huffley I was concerned that, given the OP's housing situation and the fact that her twins are now 18 months old, she might think another baby would force the council's hand to rehouse her. At the moment the thing of paramount importance is her mental health and her ability to cope well with the children she has. Given she seems to be resisting medication, I was concerned that another PG would tip her over the edge and make her mental state worse even if it made her housing situation better.

So your response was to insist, quite aggressively, on knowing what contraception she’s using rather than explaining your concerns?

@KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin

First of all my twins are 10 months, second of all I only wanted two babies. But ended up with three. And I'm not that thick to force another PG when I clearly don't have the right state of mind thinking the council would rehouse me in that state because they probably still wouldn't and I'm in no fit state for another baby. There were other ways you could have expressed your concerns instead of being harsh and asking about contraception methods and advising me to not have another baby like I posted in the thread saying I want another baby.

What I'm going through could happen to anyone, maybe even someone close to you, god forbid. So be mindful when you make silly comments. Sometimes people comments are enough to tip someone over the edge. And please don't start giving me parenting tips or start calling me a unfit mother or whatever.

KirstyAllsopsFatterTwin

I really hope that you don't work anywhere that has involvement with vulnerable people.
Your reasoning re op's contraception is sound but your dictatorial and patronising tone is appalling

@KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin
And mother teresa even if I did use the withdrawal method and fell pregnant there's something called an abortion. I didnt ask for advice on contraception or your opinion on what works and doesn't work.

Please check to see if you can apply for housing benefit online, most services if this nature are now online. You can use a smart phone to photograph evidence and upload with the evidence.

OP - get your mental health stable and then I'm sure you will tackle the housing issue. You've had a really tough run - look after yourself.

i do think you need to try to work with the services you are already engaged with. Whatever anyone here says we won’t be able to fix your housing situation.

If you are in east london your waitlists are long really bloody long. Talking to your social worker about other options might be your best bet. You can still stay on the waiting list but your current situation will have improved.

Hello OP can't really advise on housing I'm afraid but wanted to let you know that I had postnatal psychosis and so know how tough you have it just now. I was sectioned around my son's first birthday because despite taking huge amounts of medication (apparently I have a very efficient liver) and ECT I didn't get better. Even though the psychiatrist believed I would always need medication and mental health support I was eventually weaned off all medication and have been well with no mental health needs for many years now.
For now concentrate on getting better, I know some of the medications are awful but hang in there, you need to be well for your children but you also deserve to be well for yourself. Time for battles over housing when you are feeling better or alternatively get the professionals involved in your care to fight that one for you.

I think that overcrowding comes under guidelines and is not actually law. I don’t think anyone can force the local authority’s hand. If that was the case we wouldn’t have homeless

You're correct user, a housing association wouldn't accept a family at the start of the tenancy if they were statutory overcrowding, however, if they have more children when they live in the property that would be considered the choice of the tenants to overcrowd themselves.

Hi skysha, wondering how your treatment is going? Hope you are ok.

As far as benefits and housing are concerned:
If in a Universal credit area you must make your claim for help with Housing costs through that. If not then a Housing Benefit claim through the council which can also be down on-line. Please do it ASAP it is possible to get more than 1 month back dating in exceptional circumstances and I feel that your ill health may be that.
Although getting your health better is a priority, getting in arrears with rent is not going to help.
Housing applications are online too. You self assess for overcrowding and medical points and then the council send as assessor to visit. You should get extra points for both.
It would be most unwise to move into private rentals. This puts you into an even more vulnerable situation.
I have a close relative who has been on anti-psychotics. They do make you very sleepy especially when you start. But you do build up tolerance to this. It would be really helpful if your DH could deal with the nights just for you to get used to your pills. When the correct medication is taken the voices should disappear quite quickly. The depression is more difficult.
Good luck.