Family of 5 in one bedroom... illegal overcrowding?

[Skysha]

Hello all, I'm new to this. So I have a quick question and can people be mindful with being offensive as I suffer from post natal psycosis and negative comments can hurt deeply.

So I live in a one bedroom flat with my husband, 5 year old son and twin girls who have just turned one.

According to the overcrowding 'law' we are overcrowded as we have equivalent 3.5 people living in what they would consider two bedroom since the living room can be slept in.

I was wondering if anyone else has been in my situation or any advice on what I can do would be great. Due to my mental health since I've had my girl I have had the social workers, perinatal team, crisis (home treatment team) and now the early intervention psycosis working alongside me. Truth be told my mental health is a bigger problem then housing but it's getting very overcrowded now.

I have my own paid for home which comfortably houses all of my kids in a bedroom each.

I've reported the above nasty digs. hopefully they will be deleted soon - until then ignore them.

@Skysha its not good for you to be awake at this hour obsessing about this situation. turn off the electronic devices, take any meds you are due and settle yourself to sleep. getting better sleep will massively help your path to better mental health.

@PeaQiwiComHequo

Thank you. I'm only up because my girls are up. These two sturggle sleeping so most night I have to be up hence why I can't take the night medications. But I will try to sleep now. Thank you.

@rededucator

Ha, yet your such a lonley low life that your here at 4am to make nasty digs at others? Get a life.

@rededucator

4am in UK. And if your not from the UK what an earth are you doing on a thread about council homes in the UK? And are you God to tell people to not have kids because they don't have an additional room?
Your just an online troll that sits there because he/she has nothing better to do.

@rededucator if you get a kick out of making nasty spiteful comments please go to the AIBU board which is full of OPs specifically inviting criticism. This is the mental health board and your criticism is completely inappropriate.

I’ve reported the comments from this sicko. Feel sorry for those kids. They may have a bedroom each. But they have a horrible parent.

@Mummyoflittledragon

I feel sorry for the individual themselves. Clearly they are not right mentally either hence why they are on the mental health section of this website. It's crazy how many online trolls there are that have nothing better to do other than putting people down.

Skysha. Indeed. Yes.

@Skysha stop feeding this unhelpful poster. @rededucator is clearly only on this thread to provoke and cause upset. you cannot stop there from being nasty people on the internet. they cannot be reasoned with or persuaded to change their minds. often what they type isn't even their real opinion, just whatever they think will be most upsetting. When every response from you produces another nasty attack back, the only thing to do is ignore and report.

@PeaQiwiComHequo

I guess so. I'm honestly not offended by their responses because I might have issues with mental health but you know what I'm a nice person and the reason why I struggle as much is because I'm exhausted from being a good mum. But I am a good mum and negative comments are from negative parents and I honestly feel sorry for their children

I'm so glad you are managing a positive attitude.

I still think you need to put more effort into complying with your meds. if you don't find a med regime that works then you could end up in hospital and your DH will have all 3 kids to cope with 100% of the time. He should be dealing with 100% of the night shifts right now, to free you to comply with the meds you need to get well. yes that will be tough on him but it is better than the alternative.

@PeaQiwiComHequo

He works long hours and doesn't even come home until 12. He does take over most nights but they way they scream is enough to keep me awake. I have a doctor coming next week to review the medicine so hopefully that will help. When he dies take over completely he gets really moody and I don't blame him. It's tough with the girls

Hi @Skysha I haven't read the whole thread but I wanted to mention a couple of things.

One is you mentioned your cultural heritage.

Have you been able to connect to any resources specific to your culture? There might be some local to you particularly if you are in a big city. It can be hard when the HTT or EIS are not coming from the same place you are. I am sorry to hear that you are being threatened with hospital. In reality I do not think it is a threat but I do remember feeling as if it was when I really, really did not want to go to hospital and did not think it would help me.

If you are struggling you could look at places where you can be cared for together with your children, or at least discuss this with EIS.

I do not know much about housing law, but I believe a stable living situation is a foundation for recovery from mental health problems. Your situation sounds difficult, sending and happy to listen and share resources I am aware of if those might be helpful.

Apologies, I've not read the whole thread but did see that you're not taking your medication. If you had say a chest infection, you'd take tablets the doctor gave you. I don't see a mental health issue as any different. You don't need to tell your family you're taking them. If I were you I'd take the medication.

My friend was hospitalised for a few weeks for severe post natal depression and anxiety. I went and visited her there - it was an amazing place. It sorted her out. She stayed on the medication for a year and a half. She went back to her professional job and went on to have another child.

I really feel for you as I know I wouldn't be able to relax in such a small space.

... so unfortunately I can't take on that responsibility.

OP in the nicest possible way: these children are your responsibility. You and DP have decided to have these children.
And yes, people do get ill, some get handed out a lot of "shit". Find a post on MN of someone in RL who you think is worse off than you. Than count your blessings, you have a home, 3 healthy children, a partner and although currently unwell, the potential to get better in the future and have a healthy life.
Because in the end, the children will look at you for help and support. It's only you that has the power to change things.

(Take one step at the time. De clutter your home (reduce the amount of toys and clothes if you can. A lot of kitchen stuff don t get used....) Concentrate on your health and get better. Get a job, find a bigger better home. That would be my 18 months plan.... )

And make sure you are using birth control.

@KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin

What is your obsession with me taking birth control? You have asked that a few times alreadt. My son is 5 and now my twins are almost 1 year old. I'm not the type to take one baby after another and you think id risk another baby right now? Bearing in mind I already have bad mental health? I'm not that thick so stop repeating yourself

Hi Skysha sorry you've had s hard time on this thread & I really don't understand why.

If I were you I'd get well first then worry about dealing with finding a new property (as yes your family are definitely in overcrowded conditions.

I've had Psychosis but a different kind to yours I was delusional & very paranoid.
I was put on an anti psychotic called Aripiprazole.
I'm still in it & take 25mg a day.

Anti psychotics have side effects but it is really worth taking your medication otherwise the psychiatrist etc will definitely section you.

If you take your medication you will gradually get well again & your wider family may not even find out you were so ill.

But if you are sectioned everyone will know.

I took my meds & wasn't sectioned & even my best friends aren't aware that I take this medication.

What is your actual diagnosis? I have schizo affective disorder (Bipolar type) so I have been posting on the bipolar thread in this section.

Several of us on the thread have had Psychosis symptoms so you are welcome to post there for support.

Also I don't have children, I think you are doing amazingly well to cope with children as well as serious mental illness.
Obviously you have some support from your husband & from the mental health team but you are still doing well.

What is your obsession with me taking birth control? You have asked that a few times alreadt. My son is 5 and now my twins are almost 1 year old. I'm not the type to take one baby after another and you think id risk another baby right now? Bearing in mind I already have bad mental health? I'm not that thick so stop repeating yourself

I mentioned it once and you came back onto the thread but didn't respond.

I mentioned it a second time and you have responded, although you still haven't actually said whether you are using any actual birth control or not. Are you?

Why can’t your DH pay for a private let 2 bed?

I really hate the tone some MNers take with someone who is obviously emotionally vunerable