Feeling v poorly, can anyone keep me company for a bit?

[colouringinpro]

My friend is due back at 6.

I'm struggling to cope with severe depression and anxiety. Have splitting headache which I can't deal with, tearful, constantly on verge of a panic attack and hating myself more as the minutes tick by...

What happened?

He had a nightmare and woke up unable to move anything or speak, hard to breathe.

Diverted to hosp, he could breathe normally and speak when we got to hospital. Did lots of physio and have got 60% movement back.

Thats awful @colouringinpro how is he doing now? and you?

He can walk just. Can't write.

I am not good

Oh colouring, I read your other thread. Life has thrown an huge bucket of shite at you in the last few years. No wonder you feel like crap.
I don’t want to offer any platitudes because you’ve heard them all. But you are amazing for keeping going. I am on Sertraline, early days, and my anxiety has been rocketing up and down, which is normal. I hope you get some rest tonight.
One platitude: when you’re going through hell, keep going.

Thats really shocking that he's suffered this. I am afraid I haven't read the other thread pp refers to, maybe that would explain his level of restricted movement? Is this somethi g that has happened before?

How much is your gp helping you? And ss with ds? You need a load of support right now, and !maybe stay away from the relies for a bit a long time

I am so sorry to hear how awful it all is for you right now. I dont want yo keep this thread running if you are posting and getting support on another, which I hope you are.

I really hope you can get the help needed to start turning things around for you

Thanks Haverhill ❤ really appreciate what you've said, I have to keep reminding myself that it is an insane amount of shit and that us why if I don't get three hours in bed in the afternoon I get suicidal in the evening.... Hope the sertraline does the trick.

shriek thank you I think I'm loosing track re threads tbh! Ds six weeks ago lost use of his legs spontaneously one afternoon, he got back to jogging last week but a severe nightmare Sat night has taken him right back. It's a ptsd thing. It's horrendous.

My GP is amazing and saw me today for half an hour in her lunch break ❤.

Oh lovely gp! Thats really encouraging.
Ah, yes, I wondered about PTSD, just tragic. Can Camhs deal with it? Are they known for PTSD rehab? Oh I hope so your poor D's suffering this way, well, both of you

CAMHS person was honestly awful. Haven't the energy to go I to detail but it took me a day to undo the damage.

My phq9 or whatever it is scores have been v high last couple days. Had to pull over when driving this eve as didn't feel safe. Getting scared now.

Colouring, I know life seems utterly bleak at the moment but things will change. Time will move on. You’ll be in a different place in 6 months.
The way you feel now is a completely rational response to the intense stress and sadness of the last few years. Most people would feel the same- I would. But it will gradually pass. Life constantly moves on. Hang on in there. Don’t let other people’s decisions ruin your life.

I have heard the same of camhs, either useless or worse!! I despair of them. Your DS needs urgent crisis care from the sounds of it.

Your GP is aware of the severity of his PTSD?

Oh love, really feel for you. Sending strength for you and hope things will improve somehow; just keep pressurising them for the proper support you both desperately need.

I don't know what ph is other than acid levels, but sorry can't offer any words there.

I bet there will be a forum somewhere or a helpline that supports your health condition? Have you tried looking for something to see what's out there?

Look after you both x

Thanks so much shriek so appreciate it. Phq9 is a commonly used depression test . I'm scoring severe depression.

Yes my GP is amazing and honestly lufe-saving. I really don't know where I'd be without her.

haverhill yes, in good moments I can do the "when you're going through hell keep going thing"

But I've had significant periods where I feel overwhelmed and not in control. Like friday night in the car..

How are you, colouring?

Still here.... very agitated and irritable today. Think my hormones are kicking in too . My family are helping a bit this week which I'm so thankful for.

Both my kids are still awake

I’m awake, have barely slept tonight. Hope you got some rest eventually.

That's lovely to hear that family are giving some help!! I really hope it makes a difference and keep thinking of ds. How is he doing?

You were up very late haverhill are you doing OK today?

Just insomnia. Worked a 12 hour shift too
Hope today was better for you colouring.

Oh haverhill that sounds rubbish. Hope you sleep better tonight.

Yes was nice to have my dad round today, makes me feel better knowing kids are spending time with someone smiley and chatty. Sounds like ds had a good chat with his grandad too.

I slept with the help of Diazapam, thanks.
Good about your dad and DS.

Cool.

Lovely brother round this eve. Had to tell ex to give me some space. Hate I'm so useless he has to be here, fucking doing my head in. Head so fucked tonight feel like I'm going fucking crazy.

Sorry. Taking myself to bed

I would hate that too!! Maybe ex is triggering something for you?

I hope you are able to find a better place in your head soon. How lovely that your db came over too. It's great that you are getting some company, so long as its helping.

Sorry to hear that you've ended up feeling this way. Really hope this improves very soon