Feeling v poorly, can anyone keep me company for a bit?

[colouringinpro]

My friend is due back at 6.

I'm struggling to cope with severe depression and anxiety. Have splitting headache which I can't deal with, tearful, constantly on verge of a panic attack and hating myself more as the minutes tick by...

Shriek At that point I was terrified to do the tests tbh (irrationally- you just sit there with a net with sensors on your head and a nurse who operates the test). The first one involves submitting to all sorts of stimuli (sounds, flashes, images etc; all with changing sequences). You are supposed to think nothing, just listen/watch… Very difficult. The second one (day later), was easier, a concentration test; reaction to all sorts of stimuli and you had to press buttons. Pfff was my own fault; I should not have let it culminate to that point. I hate anxiety the most, it’s humiliating.

colouringinpro I see. Didn’t know that since I’m not from the U.K. I just visited my counsellor, told him it literally felt like my head was going to explode; three days later, I ended up in the office of the neurologist/psychiatrist. I hope you get the help you need and that you had a relatively good day and enjoyed watching tv.

brel well I definitely have the head exploding thing.

Woke up today with splitting headache, feel like I've had no sleep and walked 100 miles.

Hello OP and everyone else,
I'll keep you company for a bit. I have a hugely long history of severe depression (36 years on and off, with a few good years recently) and in later years Social Anxiety Disorder, so I don't really go anywhere or do anything. I am very ill today and have spent most of it in bed. Got my bottom in gear to go to work for 3 hours, and have done next to nothing since. My DCs are the same age as yours and are braining themselves on laptops at the moment. I need to cook their tea at some point and might then stick a video on for an easy evening. I just wanted you to know you're not alone. xxx

Gone for a walk but it's not working

Don't really know what to do now

Is sleep a possibility? If you need help now, can you call someone? Friend, GP? Samaritans?

scruff it's a nightmare isn't it. V well done for going to work at all x

Yep, and thank you. I work about 4 days a week, spread over 6, and today was a quiet one, thankfully.

The walk was good, even though you didn't experience direct benefits today. Well done.

Just checking in Colouringinpro any colouring in today? Impressive that you got yourself out for a walk today!

I am so sorry you are feeling so unwell today. Do you have a run of days like this and then feel a bit better? Or will it just be a case of once meds get sorted properly?

Brel that sounds really good! Scarey, yes, but that they can then diagnose and medicate from that. Interesting insight

Thanks Shriek.

No, no colouring, but a poss avenue for a psychologist for my ds.

Anxiety massive this morning. Have a big family event today which I'm dreading.

So I've spent the day at an event vrlevrati g my brother in laws life. Who dies by suicide. Yes genuinely bbc sad. And I'm there with ds10 whose CAMHS report says severe anxiety depression and ptsd. I just want to shout at all these people, that if you feel sad about this, FUCKING DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE THE TOTAL LACK OF MENTAL HEALTH PROVISION ESP FOR KIDS

Sorry loads of spelling mistakes. Tragic suicide of bil.

Can't believe it's not even 5. Feels like at least 10.

I am the alcoholic family member

Everyone else is too "pleasant"

This is fucking horrendous

My bil died by suicide. My ex th almost succeeded. My dd is autistic
My ds10 has a diagnosis if severe depression, severe anxiety ptsd and ptsd. He had 6 month wait for any CAMHS support. My GP has signed me off work til the end if the year.

I am fucking done.

Hi Colouringinpro

What a whole load of hell to deal with! What help are you getting? Thank goodness gp has stepped up for you, what else have they put in place to get you though all this?

You've managed a huge day that you hadn't wanted to face, now its time for some serious self-care. Whatever takes your fancy...long soak in a bubble bath, hot choc and retreat to bed? Whatever I takes to help you overcome the day you've had.

I don't know how you're still standing.

I am so sorry to hear of your bil suicide and having to wait 6 mths for such desperately needed treatment. I really hope they can get him sorted out

Thanks Shriek I am now loosing all capacity to behave politely just want to shout at this family who are celebrating my bol life to say LOOK! His nephew is more I'll than he was until the last week of his life, and his nephew is only 10!!!!

Well why shouldn't you tell them? Do you feel unable to, or are you being prevented in some way by them?

I've no idea how to. His family are like from a previous generation where everything is "pleasant" an emotions not expressed, except by me and my sil and a lovely neice and my ds.

Just because they behave like that doesn't mean you have to go along with it, and I strongly suspect your mental health would benefit enormously from expressing yourself.

Ds collapsed in car on way home. Paralysed. Heading to hospital. Someone make this nightmare stop!!!!!!!

Keeping fingers crossed for DS x