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Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #3

742 replies

Fairydust26 · 16/10/2018 22:38

Can you believe the last threads full up?! We had a great support network going on the previous two so come and say a big hello and join usSmile.

OP posts:
BippityBoppity87 · 07/11/2018 14:05

I have CBT tomorrow so I might mention it, but she's already convinced I have bipolar, so I don't really want to add fuel to the fire Hmm

Iblinkedandiamold · 07/11/2018 14:43

Mention it anyway. I used to be good with money, then I get a Credit card. When I feel bad I shop on line.
My anxiety is still here, I can feel it clawing at me trying to surface. Usually happens when I feel under pressure or don't get enough sleep. Have had to stop and take some deep breaths a few times today.

BippityBoppity87 · 07/11/2018 17:09

I'm so thankful I don't have a credit card! That would spell disaster for me. Oh no, hope you feel better soon.

I've just gone and cut the lights, so currently sitting int he dark. dropped the kettle in the sink Thankfully my DP will be home soon so he can fix it! As I'm quite scared of the dark. I'm such a indiot. Thinking I can do a million things at once instead of just sitting down!

Iblinkedandiamold · 07/11/2018 19:28

Sounds like you just need to flick the trip switch. I have to do this a lot as I like to set my toaster on fire. Grin
I make a lot of own bread and when I toast it, bits get stuck in the toaster without me knowing.

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 14:17

Yeah that's exactly what I had to do, but I was too scared to touch anything in case I electrocuted myself, so spent about half hour in the dark and DP walking in and asking why I hadn't just flipped the switch..

Had to buy a new kettle and I broke it. I really liked that kettle as well, gutted.

I really thought this would increase my anxiety, but it really didn't! I just felt normal, and thought wow is this what people without anxiety feel like?!

I've taken up more shifts at work, mainly for extra money and because I feel I can handle it now. Have so many ideas in my head on what to get for Christmas, then how I want to decorate the house, and I want to move, so have been looking at houses online.

I know it seems a bit jumbled and all over the place, but it makes sense in my head lol.

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 14:24

I'm absolutely buzzing today (even though I've been up since 5am) I blame all the coffee I've drunk haha

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 14:25

This is why I drink alcohol sometimes to slow my brain down.

Iblinkedandiamold · 08/11/2018 14:41

Bippity, if you feel like you can handle it then good for you. I was awake most of the night last night but it's coming up to that time of the month of me. I never sleep well coming up to that. Also thinking of course work. The sooner I finish the better. Roll on next April. Grin

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 19:29

I really can. I have a CBT tomorrow and I honestly have nothing to say. I'm doing just great. Have loads of plans on what I'm wanting to do in the next couple of weeks work wise. Been constantly working out how many hours I can work and how much I can potentially earn, the beauty of working shifts.

I can also (and I know I'm in a very very lucky position) choose what days to work and what times and how many days. I really have nothing to complain about, apart from maybe getting up ridiculously early, but the majority of the time I'm finished by between 2pm-6pm at the latest.

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 19:30

I feel a bit of a fraud going in tomorrow because I'm fine now. I know I was really bad a couple of months ago, but I think I'm doing just great on the medication I'm on and I don't feel I need anymore support.

Iblinkedandiamold · 08/11/2018 19:51

You may feel that but still go in just in case. I never had cbt but maybe I should look into it. I just don't think I am or was ever bad enough to go.
My therepy is my job.
Like today with my afterschoolers. We were going back inside after outdoor time and they have to walk in a line. The line was a bit all over the place so I said
"What kind of line is that"
Before I could say anything else one of them piped up
"An African Lion"
I had to laugh. I wanted to say "don't be cheeky" but in fairness it was a good one.

Iblinkedandiamold · 08/11/2018 19:52

Even writting that I had to laugh. African Lion. Grin

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 20:14

I was very lucky, again, to get CBT in about 2 months after I first said I needed help. I basically rang nhs 24 and said I wanted to end my life, next minute, an ambulance outside my door, taken to a&e where I wanted to just go home, walking down the street with them running after me and holding me back. Got taken after that to the psychiatric hospital where I had to sleep off the ridiculous amount of alcohol I had drunk that night, and had to see a psychiatrist that day.

A couple of weeks later, it took a nose dive and that's when the crisis team were involved. In fairness though, I think it was the medication they had originally given me that made everything a lot worse. Ended up in hospital a couple of times after that, until my meds were changed.

I know that sounds very extreme, but I've never been that bad before, and I don't think I'll be that bad again.

So that's the general jist of why I'm having CBT as well as the self harming, but I haven't done that it a good couple of months either. I actually stopped for about 8 years before that.

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 20:16

African lion 🦁 haha! That's cute. What do you do if you don't mind me asking?

Iblinkedandiamold · 08/11/2018 20:32

I work in Childcare. I open up and run the breakfast club in the morning. Send the ones who are going to school down the stairs, then I work in the preschool room until 1.30 before I go back and work with the Afterschoolers. Been working in Childcare for a looonnnng time but only started this job at the end of August.
There's a lot of pressure and paperwork but I am enjoying it.

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 20:35

Although I'm starting to feel a bit insecure about a post on another thread on this board..mainly about the 'them vs us mentality' which has made me feel a bit shit about myself now. I can't help it. If you saw me, you probably wouldn't know I had any mental health issues. Very kept together, Russell Group University educated, politely spoken, own my own home, reasonably paid job etc. It's just a shame that stigma is still about Sad

BippityBoppity87 · 08/11/2018 20:46

I can imagine Iblinkedandiamold Everyone at my DC's nursury is lovely, really supportive. I struggle to look after 1 child, let alone more! I take my hat off to you, must have the patience of a saint Grin

MollysMummy2010 · 08/11/2018 21:07

I am going to sound pathetic but I can’t drive up hills anymore. I get a real anxiety attack when thinking about it and what I think is a panic attack if I do. I mean shaking, sweating etc. I have started doing such long detours to avoid slopes that I think it can’t be normal and it is limiting my life. What do I do?

toffee1000 · 08/11/2018 22:43

That’s not pathetic at all Molly. Lots of people have driving anxiety. Has it been happening long?
Sorry I can’t think of much to say. Could you go to a GP and tell them? They may ask if there’s a specific reason or if it’s just random/happened out of nowhere. If it’s affecting your life then there’s no harm in asking.
Other people will be along soon to give advice, probably better than mine.

BippityBoppity87 · 09/11/2018 11:51

I think I might getting diagnosed with bipolar Sad I don't know what to do. Ok I was a bit hyper in therapy today, but I'm just happy. I have to fill out a mood/depression chart thing and I have honestly had nothing to grumble about the past few weeks.

I've picked up more shifts at work, I don't need as much sleep, my spending has been a bit bad ok, I'll admit that, but I'm not in huge debt or anything. I get by. My DP said I sounded hyper on the phone, but I was just being chatty? Nothing wrong with being a bit happy and chatty surely!

Does anyone have any experience of this?

FlurryBones · 09/11/2018 12:02

Hey

Long time lurker, but just found this thread.

My anxiety is taking over today and I know I'm bring so stupid and its so petty. But I've got to work and I'm not wearing my wedding ring I take it off every night and put it on my bedside and I'm sure I put it on this morning and now I don't have it on.

Realistically its on the bedside cabinet but my anxiety is screaming 'Nope you've lost it, it fallen some where and you will never get it back, gone forever'
I'm sitting here feeling sick and unable to settle just waiting for 6 so I can go check.

My anxiety just loves to pick something small and derail my day. Does this happen to you guys ?

SSSB · 09/11/2018 19:10

Can I join in? I’m fighting an inevitable depression and anxiety diagnosis brought on by emotional overload and I’m feeling fragile. I’ve just agreed slightly reduced hours in work and am persevering with meditation and therapy. My tiredness is terrible and I feel really disappointed in myself.

MeAndBobbyMcG · 09/11/2018 21:56

Please can I join too?
I've been struggling on since 2015 it was much better over the summer but now I'm back at work I'm in a bad way. I don't know where to turn.

katsudon · 10/11/2018 04:56

As it goes, I ended up caving in to that ridiculous feeling that my phone was "tainted" by goodness knows what and spent hours upon hours factory resetting it 25 bloody times! Absolutely furious right now because I had managed to ignore the urge to do so for such a long time (thanks @Stilllivinginazoo for the tips back on page 1) only to find myself right back in this position.

I'm now also afraid to even touch the damn thing as I'm anxious that one "wrong move" during the setup process (can be anything from a simple mis-tap to something like cancelling a notification without properly reading its contents) would "taint" it again, thus forcing me to have to go through the arduous factory resetting process once more.

Hope everyone's having a good start-of-the-weekend.

Stilllivinginazoo · 10/11/2018 10:29

katsudan oh lovely...
I'd suggest maybe doing something you find relaxing so nice and calm before try using it again.perhaps a bath,run(if that's your thing) or anything that you enjoy and puts you in a good place then ring someone who makes you feel good to reset yourself.easuer said than done.big hugs

I'm feeling pretty crap at mo.lots stress with D's having anxiety issues and being effectively a single mum try manage his needs with other kids whilst try keep own head above water.i just feel totally overwhelmed,drained and like I can't keep going.youngeat has ballet class this morning and I'm panicking just think drag self over to it(20 mins walk) trailing D's in full panic entire session(45 mins) because if noises,busy etc.really want climb back under duvet but if I do that I won't get up,and today will blur into tomorrow til I'm in big trouble mentally
Sending positive strong vibes to all today!