DS missing from psychiatric ward

[Masie24]

Young adult son is under a MH section and has gone missing from his ward. Police are involved. He was allowed some unsupervised time yesterday morning but didn't return. We weren't informed until very late in the evening. He's on aripiprazole though won't have taken it since yesterday.

Police will be using social media in an attempt to locate him.

Worried stiff. And trying to hold down two jobs and care for other DCs. DS has a long history of disturbed behaviour and suicide attempts. I can barely keep things together.

Any suggestions or encouragement would be gratefully received.

No words of advice Maisie, but just wanted to send you a virtual hug. I really hope your DS is found very soon.

Thank you so much Maisie for you kind words and support. Mayhem broke out here tonight. DD went crazy and blamed me for everything. I honestly started to wonder if it was all my fault.

If your son is anything like my daughter he will surface when the money runs out. You may feel very alone but there lots of mums in our situation.

Try to sleep tonight. There's nothing more you can do. Night night x

LakeIsle48 - how are you? I've just read your message and really hope that things are now a lot calmer. It must have been hell. Please take care of yourself, too.

DS, in the past, was very, very angry, too - I feel for you. Thank you. I do feel very alone but you are right. We're not and thank heavens we have places like MN. Hard in RL to spill like this. I've told one or two but even then not all the very difficult details.

DS, a week on, still missing. Police have upped him to medium risk but still won't ask the bank to check ATM etc withdrawals. That's very likely the only way that we'll get any clues at all and so it's so frustrating. Police are working hard but won't do this, saying the threshold has to be very high. But I'm very afraid for DS. He left hospital without his coat or any warm clothes. At times, I think the worst because surely he'd have been found by now as his details have been widely circulated.

Seeing GP in the morning for sleeping pills - Nytol isn't having an effect. Would like a mixture of sleeping and anxiety reducing tablets - if such a thing exists. Thank you again, all, for your kind words and support. Will update.

That's terrible, somebody vulnerable goes missing and he doesn't meet the 'threshold. You must be worried sick and I know from experience how awful that is. My heart goes out to you. It's an awful time for you.

My DD has stopped contacting me. I managed to source some information about her that leads me to believe that she is ok. For some reason she won't contact me. I know she is unwell but I also believe (maybe I'm wrong) that she's doing this to manipulate me. Her illness is complicating my trust in her. She seems very rational when dealing with friends but with me it just goes into a realm where Im responsible for every aspect of her illness.

I wasn't the perfect parent but I wasn't half bad. I really tried my best. She is so vicious towards me. She's fine if I buy her things and never challenge her. I am at a loss about what to do.

I hope your son has been in touch. It's an awful illness. I'm thinking about you x

Sitting at work shaking and have been crying - no-one around. DS still missing - nearly two weeks now and longest period to date. Police onto it but he remains 'medium risk' which means that the pace is slower and they have only just started to ask the bank for money withdrawal information. They say that could take weeks. If DS's status changed to 'high risk', it would be a much quicker process. Presently, his whereabouts are completely unknown despite all efforts - police and us to trace.

I am now bracing myself for the worst and can't escape that feeling. His mood over the past weeks has been so low, so passive, very, very quiet. And of course he's not on his meds - plus he left all warm clothes behind on the ward.

I can't get the police's backs up but I really want to ask him to reassess the risk factor. We don't have a 'go to' person - all a bit hit and miss in terms of contact.

Sorry - had to write. Cold, tired and feeling ill with the strain of all this. Any thoughts or suggestions would be welcome.

Try a local politician?

No suggestions but wishing you strength to deal with this. Such a terrible thing to be dealing with. I know it always sounds hollow but sincerely please take care of yourself.

Thank you AnyName and Hopping. A local politician is a very good idea - I've thought of our MP who DH once saw about DS when DS had horrendous housing issues. I phoned, in desperation, the local Police Commissioner's office and am expecting to hear back - but I don't want to complain, not a bit of it, I just want a realistic assessment of DS's risk which does not appear to have been done.

Thank you, I am trying to take care of myself. About, I think, to get a call from the Missing Person's Team sergeant and have been down to get myself a hot drink from the lovely caterers in the building.

Will update - thank you again.

What does his psychiatrist say about your DS mental capacity. I.e. Does he feel your DS has capacity to understand danger and the implications of not taking his medication? This seems contrary to the findings when he was detained under S3 of the MHA requiring treatment on a secure ward. I can understand your frustration that the police will not reassess their medium risk status when he is out of contact for such a long time, deemed to require treatment, so vulnerable, but yet not high risk. I would speak with his psychiatrist I think.

Thinking of you all

It's worth emailing your MP and area Police and Crime Commissioner about increasing your son's risk level.

I hope your GP can help with some interim meds.

www.missingpeople.org.uk/how-we-can-help/families-and-friends/reporting-a-missing-person/880-what-will-missing-people-do.html

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and I really hope that your DS is found quickly, safe and sound. I'm often up during the night, most nights, so I'll look out for your posts in case you want some company.
I'll be thinking of you, and going for your son's safe return. Your DH must be feeling awful about his lapse in judgement. It's understandable with all the constant stress you must both be under.
Please both be kind to yourselves and each other. You both need to look after yourselves in order to be able to support your son.

*hoping

Thank you so much for recent (indeed for all) posts and for more practical suggestions.

Speaking with his psychiatrist is a good idea. She rarely had contact with him - DS was being cared for on a ward some distance from us and waiting for a transfer to a local hospital. However, she has status and a word from her could prove useful. We're in touch with a senior staff member of the NHS MH Trust and am expecting to hear from her this evening. She'd, hopefully, also have some clout. I am a little surprised that the Trust weren't made aware by the ward that he was missing (this time or last), especially as he's been on Section 2 and now 3. But they know now and that might help.

Thank you - I've been in touch with the Police & Crime Commissioner's Office and am hoping to hear. I made it very cleat that I wasn't ringing to complain. Far from it. Rather to find out more about the process for assessing risk and to seek their help in getting it reviewed.

I've just spoken to the sergeant in the Missing People's Unit. She said that risk is re-assessed every couple of days and mentioned, to my dismay, that sometimes it's downgraded. They haven't approached the benefits agency yet but she said that this would happen. She asked me to get back to the bank branch and ask if some pressure could be plied on their unit that provides ATM etc information to the police. I'll do this but I can't see a local branch wanting to get quite so involved.

Thank you for the Missing People's link - much appreciated.

The sergeant agreed that presently it's on a par with looking for a needle in a haystack until we have bank related information. The frustrating thing is that the police have only just sought that and are saying that the bank may take a long time to provide any information at all.

Thank you again, all. I should be focusing on work right now but I can't really. Have to face a lot of people soon and will be OK. Honestly, support from you is very much appreciated.

GP prescribed Zopiclone to help me sleep but I'm put off by reports of a bad taste in the mouth - though maybe I should give it a go.

I've had Zopiclone. I get a metallic taste in my mouth when I drink anything for an hour or so after taking it. I view it as a reasonable exchange for a good sleep.

No advice but wanted to say I'm thinking of you, your family and your son. It is so desperately sad that this is such a common 'story'. I hope your son is found safe and well very soon.

So sorry to hear this. What a mess!

Thinking of you Masie

I'm so sorry you're going through this and not getting more support and action from the powers that be. Will be thinking of you 💐 hope he is found soon.

I have nothing practical to contribute. Wish I did.
Just wanted to let you know from one mother to another you have my upmost sympathy and admiration.
It's a shame that he's viewed under the law as an adult when he is so very vulnerable and still very much your child.
I've only had the slightest experience of my teenage daughter struggling with MH issues, and that was almost enough to break me.
I wish you well and hope your nightmare is over very soon

Adult or not it is completely insane that a vulnerable person having a mental health crisis isn't allowed the support /advocacy of family and friends who would do everything they could to keep them safe during a time when they are not making the best decisions because stupid laws say that that information cannot be shared without consent. Isn't there a POA type thing that could be negotiated when the person is in a more stable mindset that permits POA during a relapse or crisis situation? The whole thing makes my blood boil.

How worrying for you Masie, such a long time to be missing with no contact at all.

May be an obvious question but are the police liaising with local homeless shelters/units/drop ins? Is there a Street Team you could get in touch with?

A couple of years ago my brother (also schizophrenic) was rough sleeping and we would go days/weeks without hearing anything from him. We live in a city that has a Street Team out every night in the city centre and they do get to know the frequent faces quite well.

It was a horrendous time of worry, I really do feel for you

masie I'm so sorry to hear this is still ongoing lovely.

I'd have expected him to be raised to high risk well before now to be honest given his history.

I cannot take zopiclone but I've heard it can be good, try it at least once just so you can try and get some rest.

I've sent you a PM.

How awful OP. Fingers crossed he is found soon

He can sign on anywhere and get benefits presuming he's a British citizen. Presumably he doesn't have things like birth cert etc, but could he have transferred his benefits to a new address? Otherwise he'll have no income.
I wasn't under a section or anything, but I used to go to a seaside town when I needed peace.
Do you think he has signed on somewhere else or has just gone off grid? Begging and homeless?
Leaving a psychiatric unit, they'll have taken everything off him so he's probably very vulnerable. He won't have documents he needs to sign on.
My guess is somewhere by the sea, because that's where I used to go.

It's actually very likely he's living on the streets, because he would have had not documentation/wallet anything with him.