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DS missing from psychiatric ward

134 replies

Masie24 · 16/10/2018 18:05

Young adult son is under a MH section and has gone missing from his ward. Police are involved. He was allowed some unsupervised time yesterday morning but didn't return. We weren't informed until very late in the evening. He's on aripiprazole though won't have taken it since yesterday.

Police will be using social media in an attempt to locate him.

Worried stiff. And trying to hold down two jobs and care for other DCs. DS has a long history of disturbed behaviour and suicide attempts. I can barely keep things together.

Any suggestions or encouragement would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
Ignoramusgiganticus · 17/10/2018 23:35

Wishing you good luck in finding him and all the best for his future.

Welshmaiden85 · 17/10/2018 23:47

Really hope he is found quickly

WonderBoy · 18/10/2018 04:28

Hello again Masie. Just in my thoughts. Hoping you're doing OK and for some good news for you soon.

amilosingitor · 18/10/2018 04:40

I hope DS is found safe and well, I wish I had words of wisdom to offer but sadly I don't xxx

Emelene · 18/10/2018 04:43

Sounds so hard for you OP. Flowers I hope your DS is found very soon xx

Downeyhouse · 18/10/2018 04:57

Keeping you in my thoughts and hope he is found as soon as possible.

FrederickCreeding · 18/10/2018 07:36

I really feel for you. What an awful thing for you to go through.

Really hope he is found safe and well. I hope you get some good news today Flowers

MrFMercury · 18/10/2018 08:08

Thinking of you. I really hope he's been found safely by now x

Spamfrittersforeveryone · 18/10/2018 08:13

How awful, I’m so sorry.
Really hoping for good news for you today.

runningtogetskinny · 18/10/2018 08:29

Hope you hear good news today, thinking of you and your family 

Wagonwheelsandjammydodgers · 18/10/2018 21:25

How are you doing OP? I hope your DS has been found and is ok x

TalkingOrmer · 19/10/2018 10:17

Thinking of you and hope yourDS is safe and well.

Constella · 19/10/2018 17:27

Thinking of you too OP - I've been in your shoes with my Dsis too many times to recall and I know how draining the constant worrying is. Currently on guard myself too as Dsis is deteriorating at the moment. I can only imagine what it must feel like as a parent.

I'm glad you find some relief in going to work, a supportive workplace at these times makes all the difference I've found. Flowers

ohello · 21/10/2018 07:36

Hope you are well OP? Sounds extremely stressful, hope DS is found soon and everyone is safe. Flowers

Haven't heard from Op in a while, hope everything is okay...

redrhubarb · 21/10/2018 07:51

Hope you ds is found safe and well op !

Autumnwindinthewillows · 21/10/2018 16:46

Definitely press the police about accessing the bank card. Police told my ds they could access bank details when I went missing last time. They should also be able to locate his phone if it is switched on.
Hope you get good news soon

LakeIsle48 · 22/10/2018 00:34

Hi OP I hope he has been found. I've been through this with my daughter and it is just awful. I have found Lifeline very useful when I am worried sick. They somehow manage to calm me down.

I'm thinking about you. No doubt you feel very alone but lots of parents just like you and me go through this. Take care of yourself xxx

Masie24 · 16/11/2018 21:55

I'm sorry, I should have updated. DS was found after a few days by Police and us. We took him back to hospital. Was re-assessed - this time Section 3. Not made any tangible progress (though clearly physically a bit better) and lately very, very passive.

Today, DH went to a ward meeting. Talk still of transfer to our area (DS in hospital 2 hours drive away but we visit every couple of days). Got call at work this afternoon. DH had dropped DS off at hospital door - did not see him up to the ward. He was in a hurry to take another DC somewhere urgently. Human error but the inevitable happened. DS went off. Hospital only alerted us some hours later.

So back on the old treadmill of speaking to the Police, searching his old haunts, feeling utterly sick and very, very anxious. Now compounded with disappointment about DH's very unusual (for him) action. DS has bank card and we think that his benefits may have come through in which case he'd have enough money to go far away until he runs out of money. He has form in taking off. Police have been involved many times.

Especially worried as he may have money. Police reluctant in past to check ATM withdrawals but this may now be their own line of enquiry. I took a few days off work (thank you for your encouragement). I daren't take more off now, though, as colleague still absent from work and actually, work is a place where I can't cry, walk round in circles, become worn down.

DS on 10 mg aripiprazole and working diagnosis is schizophrenia. His newly appointed MH practitioner has told them that whilst he's with them, they need to try to get to the bottom of why he keeps disappearing and of course he himself has to want to stop.

For now, I am worried stiff. DS could be anywhere. LakeIsle - I hope your daughter is safely with you now. What, please, is Lifeline?

Thank you, all. I will update.

OP posts:
LakeIsle48 · 16/11/2018 22:39

Hi Maisie thank you for updating. Living is a support telephone service. I didn't realise but it covers Northern Ireland.

I have no advice but I just want you to know that I've been where you are now. It is so worrying, it's just awful.

My DD sounds very similar to your son. She goes missing and I worry myself sick until she makes contact. She has got great support from our local psychiatric ward and community mental health clinic but she in not engaging with services and has stopped taking her medication.

I've tried everything but she won't engage. She hates me now and believes I am the cause of her I'll health.

Im glad to hear you are sticking with work. I am too but boy is it stressful. I have had to leave suddenly at times to deal with emergencies.

God knows when or if it will end. Im thinking about you. Even though I don't know you I do know what you are going through x

Masie24 · 16/11/2018 23:41

Thank you, LakeIsle. I'm very sorry to hear about your DD. Can I say that there was a long period when DS blamed me for his situation. It wasn't him, I know that now, it was his very complex mental health. Now, he's almost unbearably passive - such a contrast to his younger very, very angry self. I hope that your DD's anger passes soon and I really hope that you don't ever blame yourself. I've done so during some dark times but the truth is that I have loved DS with all my heart and unconditionally from day 1as I bet you have your daughter. Something has gone very wrong in DS's but it doesn't mean that it can't be fixed.

It's kind of you to think about me. DH is out now, looking for him but I fear that he may be far away by now if, as I suspect, he has money in his account.

Take care and thanks again for your empathetic message.Flowers

OP posts:
Rachelover40 · 17/11/2018 00:21

Bless you Masie24, I can almost feel your pain. This is such a distressing time for you. I do hope your son is found soon.

Not much else I can say but sending lots of love Flowers. Do try to get some sleep. Keep us updated when you can.

AnyName1 · 17/11/2018 17:26

Any news Maisie?

Masie24 · 17/11/2018 17:49

Hi AnyName and Rachel - no news, I'm afraid. Had to try to get DS's 'low risk' status changed to higher risk - no-one in the Missing Persons' Unit could understand why he was deemed 'low risk'. I think that's being changed. Unless he's 'high risk', the police won't try to find out where he's been using his bank card and that would be such a clue as to his whereabouts.

Got myself some Nytol - hope it helps me sleep tonight but I doubt it. DS doesn't have his meds with him, is physically and mentally very weak and vulnerable and, it seems to us, directionless at the moment. Hoping he is sighted soon. Thank you for all your kind thoughts. Truly, they mean a lot as this is a dark and frankly lonely time.

OP posts:
wonderstar1216 · 17/11/2018 17:57

Evening, I hope ur son is found quickly. I wondered when his next meds review is? I was once on aripraxole and 10mg is a very low dose. I'm currently on 200mg of another. It barely did anything for me in low doses. Could they not increase it to assist his mood and therefore decrease the absconding- I presume low mood and schizophrenia is the main reason for leaving?

AnyName1 · 17/11/2018 18:08

It might be worth asking your GP for a few sleeping tablets. It's hard to function on little sleep.