Anyone in hospital right now and wants to start a support thread?

[UndertheCedartree]

Hello - I've currently been on my long-term in-patient placement for a month - looking at being here around 18 months.

Anyone else in hospital whether acute or long term?

Just been having a horrible week. I've ended up having 4 incidents this week. Given myself concussion from head banging. Just so sick of everything. Desperate to make a nice Christmas for my children but everything is so expensive! £35 each to see Father Christmas. Looking at things I want to get them but just don't know how to make the money stretch. Hate myself for wasting money on smoking. I'm feeling really low

Oh no @UndertheCedartree I know that feeling. Had to take up some more shifts at work because I've been spending money like water, no idea what! Smoking as well probably. I stopped for 3 months, then I had a break down and started again.

I'm feeling really uncomfortable at the moment, butterflies in my stomach all day, felt really energised, then I was just getting irritated as everyone was speaking and doing things too slowly! Get your bum in gear!

My therapist said I was acting a bit hypomanic on Friday, I didn't think I was, I was just happy and chatty, nothing wrong with being a bit happy and chatty surely!

Then my DP said I was away with the fairies, rude all because I woke him up from his slumber at 9am ringing him on the phone. Hardly 4 o'clock in the morning is it!

Everyone has just been annoying me today as well. Had to deal with so many rude people. Never working a Sunday again!

Hi @UndertheCedartree how have you been getting on?

I’m still inpatient in an acute ward, although my section runs out on Tuesday so I have a review meeting on Monday. As far as I’m aware it’s not a section 117 meeting (discharge of a person held under section) but I’m going to push for discharge AMA. If not then I’ll ask for informal, they wouldn’t make me informal last time as I kept absconding on the section 5(2) —by kicking the doors open— but hopefully they will this time as it’s such a PITA having to get a section 17 form every time you want to leave the hospital! Informal I could just wander out whenever I wanted.
The hospital is next to the big general hospital which has some nice eatery shops so it’d be nice to go there. I’ve been here a month and not left the hospital yet! Although I’ve only been off 1:1s a week. I’m very tempted to try do something to myself but trying not to do anything that might sabotage my chances on Monday. Just one more day to get through....

How are you all doing?

I'm not in hospital, been out since April which is a record! Have been in ten or so times, from 3 months to one week admissions. I'm really struggling at the moment with the voices but coping just about.

I'm doing ok(ish) I have a psych appointment in just over a week as my therapist was a bit concerned. I feel fine now though, so now I feel stupid going. Long story short, I had a massive high that lasted I think about 3 weeks, and now I've dipped again. Not as low as I was a few months ago though.

I’m still in, just been put on a s3

Morning all

Sorry I've been quiet the last few weeks have been hell. I've not been home to see my kids for 3 weeks (on way home now). Social services have been bastards.

I'll try not to make this too long. I got together with my boyfriend just over a year ago now. As soon as I did I informed social services that I had a new partner and they said they would do a background check so as far as I was concerned it was done. Then at our last Child in need meeting they say - we've just completed a background check and an incident has come up so we need to do a risk assessment. Until it is completed my boyfriend can't be alone with the children. So apart from the shock that it had only just been done we (me and kids dad) were like ok - we need to reorganise our routine (as boyfriend did a couple of school runs) but ok. The following week myself and my boyfriend were droppping my daughter at school when a hour later I got a call from social services to say we were seen and that he isn't allowed round the children atall. The kids social worker was off sick so it was a different one. I explained he was allowed around the children just not alone. My social worker at hospital sent her a copy of the email she was sent detailing that he was allowed around the children just not alone. But it made no difference. The result is all our routines have been disrupted, the kids are upset, the rest of us are upset. Without my boyfriend at home for support I've not been able to go home.

My self harm has increased, I've been drinking and I'm treading a fine line between being sectioned. Thank god I've had my amazing therapist to help me through!

I've luckily been let home today as my daughter is in her very first dance show! Can't wait.

How is everyone doing?

Oh gosh that all sounds very stressful UndertheCedartree I had my psych appointment on Tuesday. Was only in there for 15/20 mins tops who then diagnosed me with bipolar. Which was odd, unless it was just a diagnoses appointment?

Talked about the different meds and the side effects. So currently on aripiprazole, which so far, I'm not a fan of.

I’ve been out since the end of October saw a different psych on discharge who messed my meds up. Saw original psych this week and he’s changed everything back. Started seeing and hearing things which is new for me and thought to have been caused by my meds. It’s so hard though as last night I felt I’d stopped breathing and today feel like I’m in a dream I don’t want to go upstairs as I’m sure my body is going to be lying on the bed. So odd

I felt like that when I took mirtazapine Grumpbum123 Didn't agree with me at all and made my anxiety go through the roof. I didn't know where I was, what day it was, who I was. Felt like everything was a dream. Had to be taken off it pretty quickly.

Hey @UndertheCedartree just want to send some . That sounds really difficult.

I'm struggling in myself but nothing approaching hospital level (having BTDT I am grateful in the relative sense). All it is is too much going on at work, in my personal life and my Mad life as well (therapy, GP, etc) all at once. My mood is on the way down now but it did get too far up a couple of weeks ago and when that happens I get absolutely terrified. I know some people like the highs but I find them frightening.

I am cutting back on commitments and doing what I need to do, and I am alright although struggling to eat properly which is pretty annoying. I hate the overhead I have to spend ensuring my mood stays in the regulated zone IYSWIM.

I’d like to go back in, I felt safe there

I’m now on 1:1 in hospital. Finding it hard. Can’t be bothered doing anything so just laying on my bed.

@Grumpbum123 Where are you living at the moment?

@FFSOMG Do you have a sense of how long you will be on 1:1 for? I do not like it one bit and I also do not like the transition to being off 1:1 again either, depends how long one is on it though I think. Sending

Back home

I’m back off 1:1 and on 15 minute checks, already hurt myself (without method sharing but it is with the intention of ending my life) a few times. Ward round soon, everything seems hopeless.

If anyone is still reading this, I was put back on 1:1 and still on it now. They’re forcing me to have anti psychotic injections now, which feels like I’m being raped. I hate it.

I’ve had a couple of good talks with the nurses and feeling more positive though, and hopefully I can have some time at home for Christmas!!

FFSOMG - sounds like you're having a really hard time. Keep talking to the staff to tey and find the best care for you. Take care - you are important and special.

Not much changed for me. Christmas leave has not been decided yet but unlikely what I hoped for.

It is a stressful time but keep going, everyone x

Yes I’m wondering what my leave will be, but a lot can change in ten days. I’m hoping to be out for the day, or two nights overnight but that’s probably wishful thinking as I’m section three level three.!

Back on 1:1, lasted 12 hours 🙄

I ended back in but home now. Feel so much better, not going to put it off next time.