Slipping.

[Needhelpasking4help]

I'm too tired to type my story but I don't want to feel alone but feel unable to bother and worry people in my life. Sorry.

I went to the park very early this morning thinking it would help me to feel better marching round for an hour but I spent the whole time fantasising about my suicide.

I came home and got very panicked and upset and I don't have any more diazepam but then calmed down a bit.

I was referred to crisis team the other week. Sorry

I got through the day but now I feel very bad and I can hardly move my body. I had a little drink which took the edge off

I don't want to bother parents or my sibling or friend. My ex h is very supportive he said he will pop in after work at 10pm

Can you call the crises team?

Sending you a handhold lass.

I'm here. Other people will be along soon as well.

What happened today and yesterday?

How is your body feeling?

I feel a big block to calling them. Frightened of it

Just feel dead inside but at the same time I am now crying because you have taken the time to answer. Thank you. Feel so tired. Pointless.

I've not taken anything or drank excessively btw. I don't want to die just gave very intrusive thoughrs voices that are exhausting me

Please call the Crisis Team and tell them how you're feeling, even though I know it's hard.

Is there anyone around you can talk to? Call even? Talking is the most important thing, I can't stress this enough. You are not bothering people. And you are not alone.
This period in time may seem to big to get over.... but you can, and the only way from here is up 💐

Just want to say keep going you are really trying your best. Hopefully you will get the right support and feel better soon. Be kind to yourself x

Don't be sorry OP.

And I'm sure none of your friends or family would feel at all bothered if you went to them. They would be so thankful that you did!

But keep posting here in the meantime, if that's your limit for now. I'm glad your exDP is looking out for you.

Take care. You do matter

Please talk to someone. If your friend/ sibling/ partner was feeling like you do, you'd want to help them, right? You deserve the same.
It's probably hard to believe right now, but you can and will feel better.
And do try to reach out to the crisis team. They are there to help. If you feel urgently unsafe you can always get yourself to A&E. Big hugs.

You are most definitely not pointless.

I know you have a block, but the team is there to help.

Please call someone for help op. I've been there and it's an awful feeling I wouldn't wish in anyone. But you can and will get through this and things can look brighter for you. You just need to help yourself by letting others help you

You must be so very exhausted. I can only imagine. Not being able to get away from your thoughts. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Thank you so much. Didn't expect any replies really. I have a long history. But this feels like the first and the worst again. Can't stop imagining things. Animals that scare me don't want to write word

You’re doing really well in that you’re trying to help yourself by getting fresh air and exercise. We’re here if there’s anything you want to talk about x

When I was young at school I was hospitalised psychosis and depression and got pregnant by fellow patient we were just allowed to leave unit to wander grounds. I had sex first time in derelict area of old hospital. I had termination. This is on my mind.

I should just forget it I feel like I'm going on about crap.

Noooooo. Don't be silly. It doesn't matter what your problem is it's making YOU feel so low you are tempted to take your own life. I have been there. Many times. It's horrible.

Please please don't do anything silly. You need to keep talking. The first time I had this I hid it from so many people and they were gutted when they found out they were upset that I HADNT TOLD THEM.

Please tell them. You have nothing to lose.

Please call the crisis team NOW. If not please please do something to make you feel good Or happy. Take a bath. Read a good book. Watch a good film.

Once you have seen someone you will start to feel better and see things differently I know I did.

Please reach out to your family or DH, you aren’t a burden to them , I would be truly devastated if a friend or family member took their own life . You don’t know how important you are to them , please reach out for support , it will get better xxx

I'm not going to hurt myself or do anything like that.

Thank goodness for that! I’m sure you aren’t a burden to your family or loved ones. Supporting you would be something that they will want to do , to help you and because they love you 💛

It's so hard when your mind is seemingly so against yourself.

It's the need to hold onto the good bits. The taking very small steps.

I know they do I'm quite angry with parents I suppose.

Let the anger go, focus on the positives , you are healthy , you have all of your limbs , you have family and friends who care for you. You will get through this. Your life can be whatever you choose it to be , you are in control. ☺️Xx