to wish that suicide was an option for me?

[user9512736123]

I wish I could commit suicide, I can't but AIBU to wish I could?

I'm sorry to hear that OP. No wonder you're feeling low - you really have a lot going on, lots of other people to look after.

It's definitely worth going back to the GP and discussing things. It might well be worth asking for a double appointment to give yourself a little more time to talk things through.

What would you think about getting in touch with Social Care as well? Lots of people tense up at the words but they might (services stretched as everywhere) be able to offer some help & support with managing most of the issues you mentioned.

is social care social services? they would take my children if they knew

OP please don’t give up on MH services. Give them another call - most areas have a ‘Healthy Minds’ & you can self-refer to them.
Can you see another GP at your surgery?
Yes take support on here, but also keep at the professionals too.

They would have them anyway if you weren’t there. It’s got to be better than that x

You can self refer to social service. They will be able to offer you support and advice.

Social workers try to keep children with their families, and they will be able to help you.

I am so so sorry. I understand and I have often felt this way in the last few year. For me now, when I look back, I am glad that things have stopped me. I realise that it is good that I can’t. I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. You are not alone and if you ever need to talk please call someone, call me, call another human who will listen. Because we can hear you are in pain and it’s not fair that you’re hurting so much. ❤️

Sorry you are feeling this way, I have suffered from depression and dark thoughts and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody

Turning point are a talking therapy organisation and you can self refer online, they have really helped me.

talking.turning-point.co.uk/

Im not sure where you are based but they cover quite a few areas. X

Assuming you don't regularly beat up your kids, it is astoundingly unlikely that ss would take them away.

Many thousands (hundreds of thousands?) of people in this country are parenting while having MH issues. Lots of those people receive support from social care as well. MH issues are not a reason to consider removing children from their home, unless they somehow result in a very significant risk of serious harm to the children. This is extremely rare. Please don't let fear of something so very unlikely stop you from getting help.

I have found the local healthy minds and have emailed them to ask for support. i didn't know they existed so thank you.

I get exactly where you are coming from OP, I just know the shit storm that would be left behind for my H and kids would be too much, therefore I will continue to struggle daily with having to be here

Hi OP, so sorry you are feeling the way you are - huge load on your shoulders, I hope healthy minds can help you. You mentioned poverty, please contact your local Foodbank if you are struggling for food. They may refer you to another agency to get a voucher to get food but they should be able to help you.

no i don't beat up my kids
they are ok and doing well nobody notices i have mh problems as i slip the radar cos my kids are great academically and socially
i am a successful (well was until unemployment) professional who looks like she has it all and people don't see beyond that
my kids haven't got a clue as i help them with everything they need and take them to activities and school etc then come home and cry in bed before going back and putting a smile on for them

I'm so sorry OP, you've got so much pressure but please hang in there. If talking to the Samaritans helps even in the short term then keep doing it, just take things one hour at a time, I know it doesn't seem like it but I promise things will be alright.

Hi Op, please pursue your contact with healthy minds & Gp support if you can face it, I know it’s really not easy asking for support & having to admit you are struggling with life, you are not alone many many people need support & help at some points in life.
You will get lots of good advice from MN, please keep posting & I urge you to follow through with agencies that could help you.
💐

bloody fool i am gone and self harmed.not serious or anything but im pathetic. i look stupid now with clumps missing from eyebrows.

Are you OK? Do you need first aid?

Lots of people have patchy eyebrows. Don't worry about that. Would putting a bit of ice on it help? Try to be gentle with yourself now.

no, don't need first aid. just better than alternatives i guess. stupid idea to go at them with the tweezers when stressed.

It's better than the alternatives op, if it's calmed you down a bit. Xx

That’s the sort of thing that’s easily covered.

Are you still feeling like you might harm yourself?

yeah but its ok

you sound a nice person....x

haha not at all or id have friends and a job

That's not true...I can tell by your writing style etc. you seem clever and have a good sense of humour even with how you are feeling. I was in hospital as I took an overdose months ago and used to self harm I can relate .

Sometimes you can be too nice x