Looking for some advice after go appointment pleaseee

[Purpleneonpinkunicorns]

Hi all
I've not long got back from the doctors, I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety for a very long time and this past month I have hit one of the worst lows of my life....they've just increased my meds and she has now reffered me to the mental health team due to my self harmng and no longer wanting to be here..
I guess all I'm asking is what should I expect from a mental health team and how will they be able to help me? As my doctor also is now thinking I may have bipolar or borderline personality as I have some of the symptoms of both, I just feel at a loss atm as im scared s*itless and I'm scared what there going to do to me
Any advice will be great
Thank you for reading

Hi Purple,

That's great that you've got a referral. It sounds like it might really help you.

You will have an initial assessment by a nurse or psychiatrist and they will then decide what support you might need, which could be anything from sessions with a Clinical Psychologist; to a diagnosis and medical treatment from a Psychiatrist; to regular support from a nurse or therapy with a Cognitive Behavioural/Dialectal Behaviour therapist.

Don't feel scared, they won't do anything without your permission and you can express your treatment preferences etc. If you are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder then you are likely to see a Psychiatrist; be prescribed medication (a mood stabilizer) and be offered talking therapy. If you have Borderline Personality Disorder then you are likely to be offered 'Dialectal Behaviour Therapy' and possibly medication if needed. If you have Anxiety and Unipolar/Major depression then you might be offered Psychologist sessions/Cognitive Behaviour Therapy; anti-depressant medication and support from a nurse if needed.

You might also be given contact details for an acute care team whom you can contact if you are feeling actively suicidal.

It will be ok and this might the first step towards recovering from your current problems.

Hello thank you for responding so fast and putting my mind more at ease, she did say that there's a waiting time but she said as soon as I get offered an appointment have it as there like gold dust,
I'm just trying to get my head around it all and I've gotta go see them but after your info it feel like I know abit more,
I've seen a counsellor before but it didn't last long as my life got turned upside down and I couldn't leave the house, but I'm also back on the waiting list for that also and have a telephone assessment booked for next month, can I ask what is unipolar as never heard of that
Thank u so much for the information I feel abit more at ease.

I’ve just been diagnosed with Bipolar and have been referred to the home treatment rapid response team. I admit I was scared at first, but they’ve been amazing so far.

Aylarose has given you a really good run down of what will happen. I just wanted to say don’t worry and that this is the first step to things getting better.

Hi, I have been reffered to a mental health specilist (skipped the GP first time due to working in the NHS). I've not been diagnosed with anything more than anxiety and depression dispite wadering if I have all the things you listed and more.... I'm reluctant to have a diagnosis as I don't think it will help me at this stage in my life. It's less about diagnosing and more about seeing what will help and getting better support. I did find the meetings very hard but once I realised they weren't out to put labels on I was much more relaxed. The thing about psychiatry is that the diagnosises keep changing and specalisists are much better at understanding that than GPs who are just going off textbooks, medical training and experience. I wanted to say they do a tick box assesments but know gps are often better than that, they are a jack of all trades in the medical world. It's good that your GP has recognised he is out of his depth and reffered you.

Maybe I'll get a diagnosis in the future.

I have also found the charity mind a very helpful resource.

Hi guys thank you for responding, I haven't been on for the past few days due to sleeping like a baby and feeling like a zombie.
I have found all the advice given very helpful as feel more at ease as what to expect..and I'm relieved that my GP has believed that I have a problem and has referred me, and I don't feel as if everything that goes on in my head just makes me crazy (if that makes sense) and I'm actually going to get help instead of keep suffering the way I am...atm I'm feeling like I'm in mental torture and have no outlet and driving myself round the bend, and wanting to keep hurting myself..
I'm just waiting patiently now for the next stage and actually going to meet the mental health team and go from there...just wondering how did you feel on your first appointments? Thank k u all for your knowledge I'm feeling less alone at this moment in time. And sorry I haven't been online to read and write.

First of all I want to say well done for choosing the difficult route to help yourself feel better.

Well my first appointment was an emergency appointment so I didn't have any antipation. Today I'm meeting the consultant for the first time. I'm pretty nervous but less than I thought I'd be, probably due to meds. I do lot of prep, writing down questions and symptoms as I've been in appointments and interviews with mind blank before. Today I haven't felt the need to prepare as much might just jot down a. Couple of questions.

Hi embrace sorry I didn't respond haven't been having much screen time..how did your appointment go??

Well I had mine today and seen a lovely cmhm and she is going to refer me to...a psychiatrist, occupational Therapy and a councillor..has also diagnosed me with anxiety ocd and suspects that I have bipolar and will sit in on my first meeting with pyschiatrist and then get me going on the right meds, and is also refering me to a benefits advisor as she thinks I should be claiming for pip both aspects because of my conditions and how family prettyuch do everything for me.
But I just feel tonight that a weight has been lifted of my shoulders after struggling for many years and I'm now going to be receiving the help that I need, even though it's going to take me a while and baby steps I'm just happy to know that it all isn't in my head and I'm going to be getting help.

And forgot to mention she also said herself and the pyschiatrist will also make me a care plan also and fully support me and I'll have my own support person etc..
And also the meds the docs upped last all I've done is eat and gain weight..has anyone else found this wish mirtazipine and zolplicone?

Glad you are getting support and help. Lots of osychiatric meds seem to increase appetite, I’ve not been on the ones you are on but lithium is currently making me crave sweet carbs, all I want is cake cake and more cake! I am trying to resist the urge as don’t want to gain weight but it’s tough. Have you applied for PIP yet?

Hi 4dogs, I'm feeling very relieved that I'm finally getting the support I need as I know that I can be very hard and difficult to live with and I know I put alot of pressure on mum which I don't mean to, I feel excatly the same I found myself eating coffee buttercream on its own the other night in the middle of the night as the cravings I just couldn't resist, and also savoury items I can't stop eating I can have my tea and I still feel hungry straight after it.

She has mentioned about lithium and some anti psycotic medicine being with z but I forgot what it's called, but she's waiting for my psychiatrist appointment and proper diagnosis and we'll go from there and just to stay on the mirtazipine and zolplicone for the time being..
I tried a few months back to claim for it and the assorted made loads of lies in the report and I had a breakdown before I could challenge it, which I told the cmhn yesterday and she's reffered me to a welfare person and there'll start a new claim for me write it out etc and she and the pyschiatrist will give me fully supporting evidence for it as she said I should get both elements as my mum does most of my caring needs and keeps my appointments and meds organised etc.
Can I ask how do you feel on lithium? And how do you fight the cravings that you have? As I'm really struggling with food atm I can stop eating.
Thanks for taking time to comment.

I’ve been on lithium for about 3 weeks now and I do actually feel better. I was really reluctant to start it, not sure why, but I’m glad I did. You have to have regular blood tests on it which is a bit of a nuisance. As for cravings, I just don’t have biscuits or cake in the house but I have been scoffing jam sandwiches! I have put some weight on but that is good because I had lost a lot. I’m glad you are getting the support you need and I’m sure you’ll get PIP esp if your diagnosis is bipolar.

I'm glad to hear that your feeling slightly better from taking it, I'm not to keen on blood tests though so that would worry me if I had to take it, that's a good idea with not keeping the craving food in the house but I'm sure if just eat anything the way I'm feeling..today's been a bad day and I haven't left my room and slept in until 4ish after not feeling the need to sleep until about 6am this morning, I just hope my pyschiatrist appointment comes through soon as I don't really handle anticipation well, but the way I'm seeing it is..I'll finally be on the right track and have a real diagnosis so have to keep going..and she said I should hear from the welfare rights person within a week so maybe that will fill some of my time as atm I have nothing to keep me occupied apart from playing with the dog and waiting for myum to finish work..
Sorry for going on just needed to let it out.
Thank you so much for taking the time replying to me

You’re not going on, feel free to post as much as you like! Are you sleeping in the day and up all night? I struggle with boredom as well, it’s hard to find things to do and I don’t have the energy to do the things I should be doing like housework athough i am getting a bit more motivated. The blood tests are a nuisance but once the lithium levels are right it’s only every three months so not too bad. Do you take your dog out for walks or is that not possible right now? I hadn’t walked mine at all for the past month but have managed it the past two days. Not sure if I will today as not feeling great but will try and make myself.

I feel that I just go on and do people's heads in as Ive always in to felt low down on the chain if that makes sence?..

Yeah, I can sleep all day and be up again all night...but sometimes I feel I don't need any sleep and can stay awake for about 2-3 days straight and then I just sleep for a solid 12-16 hours straight and then the same pattern happens again... I feel like I'm a wave of constantly going mega up or very far down, no matter what I try I can't get out of this hell that I'm living..and then when I'm on a proper downer and at my breaking point (what happens frequently) I'll then end up self harming... And then it's gets so bad I end up having a Nervous breakdown.

I currently haven't taken the dog out for a very long time and that falls down to my mum to do, but when I'm having one of my phases where I'm not sleeping I will clean the house like there's no tomorrow from top to bottom each room without a rest, but if it involves leaving the house unless I need to for appointments I don't, I'll play indoors with the dog or maybe if I'm having a good day (very rare) I'll maybe play in the back garden with him for ten mins and then I get anxious and aware that I'm outside so have to come back in.

I'm currently trying to build myself up as been told I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and if I don't go to it they'll take me off the list so got no choice, might be a case of taking a old 15mg mirtazipine a few hours before I go so I'm a little bit more calmer.

Did you manage to take your dog for a walk today? Or did you not feel able to..I hope you feel a bit brighter today.

I did manage to walk the dogs yesterday and went into town later on to get a vape pen as I’m trying to give up smoking, dunno why but all of a sudden I don’t want to smoke anymore. I hope you get to dentist today cos if they take you off their list you may struggle to find another one. Your sleep/awake cycle sounds pretty manic, I used to go days without sleeping but my meds mean I currently go to sleep about 9.30pm! So I don’t have that manic energy for cleaning (or anything) but I’m not sleeping in the day either.

I know what you mean about being outside then getting that hyper awareness of being outside and having to go back in, I get that in the garden and have to scurry back indoors. I have made myself go out more than once every day this week though but had a few appointments so had to. Now I need to try and think of reasons to go out which is harder. I’m worried if I stop going out I will become agoraphobic and not leave the house at all.
Sorry for rambling! Hope your day goes well and you manage to get to dentist.

That's brilliant that you managed to walk the dog and also go into town, I can imagine how hard it must of been for you but well done, and well done on getting a vape pen also, I've had mine for about 10 weeks and have done well on it and quit smoking, but I have been naughty and got me mum to buy me some fags today as I'm feeling mega stressed and haven't slept and ran out of eliquid so was craving a cig, but hopefully I'll be back on the pen tomorrow.

I'm going to take a 15mg mirtazipine at around 11 so hopefully that'll calm my nerves as I'm anxious as I haven't left the house since Monday for the cmhn and before that im not sure when I last left the house been that long, but I'm going to force myself to go as it needs doing and there's no more dentists taking on in my area and I've only managed to get this one due to my mum knowing the receptionist and she's managed to get me in.

My sleep pattern is awful and no matter how hard I try I can't get a routine and it's always up and down so I'm just used to it now and it seems normal to me as it's been so long.

I think your doing well with your mind set of finding reasons to go out, I try to but i get to anxious have a panic attack and then end up giving up, but I've make up on today for the first time in ages so I feel like I have a mask and know one can see the black under my eyes and they look less puffy and I'm doing some made cleaning just to pass the time.

And your not rambling it's nice to hear that I'm not alone and I've just thought of a idea for you, if you stick to your vape you can have a reason to go out for eliquids. Thank you and I hope you have a good day also, I'm off to go have a crafty cig and then scrub the floors and radiators my plans to have the house spotless before I go out so I can just escape to my room as soon as I'm home as I know I'll need to recover.

And thanks for the chat and anytime you wanna let things out I have ears. Thanks for listening to me.

How did your trip out go today? I walked the dogs and then did some gardening, I had to keep going inside every ten minutes or so but I persevered and got a reasonable amount of weeding done. I wish I would go on a cleaning binge, I used to when I got a bit manic but frankly my house is a shit tip these days where i have been down for so long. Thanks for chatting back to me, it’s nice to feel a bit connected to someone.

It went ok ish, had a mild panic attack before I went in and then had to wait 30mins for my appointment as they got my time muddled up, and then that set my anxiety to a high and I hid in the toilets for a good 20mins, and I have just have to make 4more appointments so not feeling good atm and just laying on sofa next to the dog feeling sorry for myself,

Ooh that's good, and at least you tried so well done, did you feel better about doing it and did the fresh air do u some good,

I only ever tend to clean the way I have been doing for the past 2 weeks whilst I've been feeling abit untouchable with sleep if that makes sence, but I know once I'm back into my depressed mode I wont do nothing not matter how much I get nagged, so I'm suspecting maybe reasons like this is why the cmht think it's bipolar??.. I don't know as I don't really know much about it and also as I talk very fast and from one subject to another.
No thank you I totally agree it is nice to have someone who understands what your going through and be able to talk about it, I hope you have a lovely afternoon..and have you started your pen yet?

You do sound like you might be having periods of mania, not sleeping, talking very fast etc, which is indicative of bipolar, hope you get a diagnosis soon. Well done for getting to the dentist, waiting all that time can’t have been easy. That’s a lot more appointments you have as well! I did feel good for getting some gardening done. I have really neglected it this year so it is full of weeds, normally I have it quite nice. I have been vaping madly over the past two days and have got my smoking down to about 4 a day instead of my usual 30 or so! There’s a good smoking to vaping thread over on the health addiction board if you fancy joining it. Do you have any plans today? I’m going to walk the dogs then cycle into town with dd for a bit so she can do some pokemon go on my phone. That’s the plan but I feel a bit flat so not sure I’ll manage it, we’ll see. Also weather is a bit shite, hoping it doesn’t rain.

I've not long woken up after falling asleep at around 8.30am yesterday, and now I'm feeling utter Shi*e, and have no energy to do nothing and currently forcing myself to eat some toast and have a drink to take meds with, how's the vaping going? And did you manage to walk the dogs and take your dd Pokémon ing? I'm just going to chill in bed and hope I can sleep some more and try and have a fresh start again tomorrow as I don't feel able to get out of my room today, feel like I've crashed n then burned n haven't the energy or mind set to do anything.

Hi

Wow your sleep pattern is up the shoot isn’t it. It’s horrible when your so tired and can’t get to sleep.
Is it because of mind chatter that you can’t sleep? Anxiety bodily symptoms?

So your not on any meds at mo? Only odd mirt
How many years have you been suffering with this shitty illness ,
I’ve been on/off since 23 now 60, how old are you?
You got your appt really quick, obviously not in Manchester!!
I was under secondary mh care in 2011 with a psych, Gp as written 3 times to see if she/secondary team will see me again. She just said up meds, which I did. No difference. Started propranolol (instead of using Diazepam ) gave me low bp so off that now. Back using Diazepam 2mg
I’ve got an assessment with secondary mh on Friday to see if I fit there criteria! Things have changed now regarding mh and I think that’s why psych won’t see me because not psychotic, even though I’ve been down a&e twice now suicidal.
Also waiting appt for psychologist, been waiting 8 mths now.

Doesn’t look like you’ll be sleeping any time soon tonight does it

Hi Haribo,

Yeah my sleep pattern is awful as sometimes I'll be awake for days and others can sleep for days I'm either a constant high or constant low and it does drive me crazy as I can never establish a routine,

I take 30mg of mirtazipine daily at night and a 3.75mg zolplicone also. .. but the doc has said if I need to go out it's ok for me to take a 15mg of mirtazipine also, but I've only had to do that twice for appointments as other wise I don't leave the house due to anxiety. And now I'm awaiting an appointment with a pyschiatrist who will put me on the right meds as the cmhn said to stay as is until I see her and the pyschiatrist together and also waiting for a occupational therapist to come and visit me to work with me,

I sometimes feel like I don't need sleep if that makes sence and will stay awake for days on end then crash like yesterday but now I'm wide awake but feeling really low about myself and mums had to hide anything that's a danger to me as I do and have self harmed so tonight will be a bad night. I've been this bad for about the past 4/5 years but have always had anxiety and depression but it's only know I'm finally receiving the appropriate help, and I'm currently 29.

No not in Manchester but about 1 and half wlaway from there, wow that's bad that it's taken you long for an appointment and they should of definitely seen you sooner instead of getting yours meds upped, i hope your appointment on Friday goes well for you and you receive all the help that you need, especially as you have been a n e twice, what illness is it you have if you don't mind me asking? I'm suspected bipolar as I meet so many of the descriptions so I'm interested in knowing how others cope and what to expect etc,
Cannot believe that you have had to wait 8months that's terrible, I hope your appointment goes well and you get the help that you need and nope it'll be a long night, and my mood won't help as the past few weeks I've been cleaning but Tonight I'm finding it hard to leave my bed but wide awake if that makes sence.
Sorry for rambling.

Don’t worry too much about a ‘crash’ if you’ve been a bit manic. I was really concerned about them at first, as I thought they were indicating the start of a depressive episode. My psychiatrist explained how physically and mentally draining mania was and suggested I took a couple of duvet days to recover . My nursing team visit every other day and they’ve been giving me advice on good sleep hygiene (not really sticking to it yet hence posting at this time!) but maybe discuss it with your team and see what they can do to help? Hope you have a good day .

I hope you’re feeling better today, any idea when you will see psychiatrist? It is normal
to crash after a period of mania so don’t worry about it too much. I managed to walk the dogs and do a roast dinner yesterday, first one I’ve done for months. I usually cook a lot but seem to have lost my cooking mojo
in this episode of depression, and my cleaning has been non existent. I’m sorry that you feel at risk of self harming at the moment and hope that passes soon.

Posted too soon. I’m still vaping non stop, had one cigarette yesterday so about 29 not smoked. I’m on day 5 of vaping now and the nicotine stains on my fingers have almost gone so I’m feeling pleased about that. Are you back on your vape yet?