Looking for some advice after go appointment pleaseee

[Purpleneonpinkunicorns]

Hi all
I've not long got back from the doctors, I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety for a very long time and this past month I have hit one of the worst lows of my life....they've just increased my meds and she has now reffered me to the mental health team due to my self harmng and no longer wanting to be here..
I guess all I'm asking is what should I expect from a mental health team and how will they be able to help me? As my doctor also is now thinking I may have bipolar or borderline personality as I have some of the symptoms of both, I just feel at a loss atm as im scared s*itless and I'm scared what there going to do to me
Any advice will be great
Thank you for reading

Hi all

My problems are depression/ anxiety
With me it’s the bodily anxiety symptoms that I can’t seem to handle(you’d think I’d of got used to them having lots of episodes over the decades) but no everyone is just as daunting.
The bodily symptoms seem to start the negative thoughts spirling, hence doing things and not sitting there. But they keep coming to the forefront hence me not going out, appointments, seeing family.
There only seems diazepam that works! And don’t think I can stay on them forever they won’t let me
It’s so f... hard this illness

Well done for you getting to dentist and actually staying whilst having high anxiety( although everyone anxiety is st different levels)

4dogs
Well done for getting out in the garden and taking dogs out
And a roast, your on the up

Today was shit start for me, woke up feeling really hot and then chest sensation(not palps) like heavy feeling.
So got up didn’t want it escalated
Couldn’t manage coffee felt sickly
And I usually enjoy my morning coffee
Took D and feeling slightly calmer now
Just remembers now shit I’m late taking venlafaxine that’s with frigging anxiety

Take care all

Just written replys out and lost them all...,

Hi guys thanks for taking time to reply,

I've not long woken up and feel utterly crap and do feel like I have crashed so I'm going to remain in bed till tomorrow and then aim to have at least a shower and stay in lounge for a bit for a different view, even though I'm feeling very shitty at the moment.

Unfortunately I'm still awaiting the pyschiatrist appointment and the actual wait is driving me bonkers as I don't deal well with anticipation, so going to leave it another week then get mom to call my cmht and see if they have any ideas how long itll be, I'm currently keeping a mood diary to show them, not sure if it's worth doing or not but I'm going to give it ago,

2dogs: that's brilliant that you have managed to walk the dogs cook and roast and stick to vaping, how is it making you feel? And well done, yeah I'm back on vaping again for now, and I've also lost my cleaning mojo and my room looks like it's been ransacked, I wouldn't mind but it was spotless the other day, n then I etc ideas in my head.
Hope that your all keeping well and sorry it's taken me forever to reply, and that k you all as your support is a nice help as in rl my friend I try to talk to doesn't understand it and just thinks u can snap out of it ...if only

Hi Haribo sorry that you've had a bad time, I agree it is hard being unable to leave your house as I've missed various appointments due to my anxiety but I had no choice with the dentist so my doc recommend taking a old mirtazipine for emergency use, but hopefully the pys will put me on the right meds and I won't need that emergency one as I felt like a zombie, and it didn't help as I had a panic attack,.
I'm not sure if they can keep u on diazapam can they up your dose for you?

another shit waking, woke at 7.30
Horrible bodily anxiety symptoms.
I remember telling myself they won’t kill me, they will go etc etc
But I’m still tired and can’t get back to sleep because of them and the talking in my head saying I’m fine
So have to get up
I’ve got none stop chatter in my head, can’t concentrate.

I’ve got an hair appointment today , thought of cancelling is at forefront
It’s negative talk, what if !!!!
It’s the sitting there in confided space pretending your ok, yet you got chest sensation, shaking, pins and needles down your arms
And someone is talking to you, whilst all this is happening.
Shitty f.... anxiety

Purple
Do you not get anxiety bodily symptoms??
Like when you say you staying in bed, are you like normal no anxiety symptoms? Do you get mind chatter talk?

I’ve upped the venlafaxine a few months ago from 150 to 187.5mg
Stayed on it 7 weeks . Didn’t see any drastic changes only that I started with a heavy chest sensation
It could of been coincidence I may of been stressed. It’s so hard when your dealing with doses.

I know I can’t stay on diazepam, but st the mo gp is fine with it
I just need to get this illness under control and get some life back and not an existence.
Dp doesn’t know if he’s coming or going, I’m so snappy when Ive got high anxiety

How are you today, what you upto ?

Hi Haribo,
Sorry to hear that you had a bad night, and I know anxiety symptoms really don't help matters do they, have you managed to make you hair appointment? And if you have did going make you feel abit better?,

I do get symptoms, when I had a very bad panic attack my mum called a ambulance as I thought I was having a heart attack and had never experienced anything like it before, but now I know it's my anxiety, and also get dry throat, trablem and shake and have very fast papatations, and also have been known to cry,

How do you feel with your meds upped? And has the doc said how long you can stay on diazapam for?

I know the feeling about not having a life and just existing but I don't even want to be exsiting atm as I feel such a failure and hate that I am the way I am, just wish I could be a child again when I was happy and had no worries execpt what you or sweet I wanted, but unfortunately I'm stuck in this black hole I can't ecaspe from,

I've not been sleep since I last woke at 8ish last night and forced myself out of bed and forcing myself to clean as I'm getting horrible 'hurting feelings' and cleaning is my only escape but I'm so low on energy I keep stopping to vape and just keep staring into space.
How's ur day?

How are you doing purple?

Hi 4dogs, I currently feeling awful and just feeling very stressed and depressed have been very tearful the past 2days and have been struggling to sleep and eat and no energy..I've also caved on the no smoking as atm that's the only thing going for me, I still haven't left the house since my dentist appointment last week as my anxiety and depression has taken a hold on me.

How are you doing?

I’m not too bad purple. Have managed to walk the dogs every day, I didn’t walk them at all for over a month so I’m pleased with myself for that. Currently trying to summon up the courage to get out in the front garden and do some weeding. I don’t know why but I find being out there very anxiety inducing. I’m still vaping, this is my third completely cigarette free day which is not something I have ever achieved before. I had a period of wanting to be a
child again a few weeks’ ago when my depression and anxiety were really bad. I think lithium has helped me a lot. When is your next dentist appointment?

That's really good and I'm proud of you for managing that, as I can imagine how much anxiety you must of have but that's fantastic..good luck with doing some weeding I don't envy you at all lol.
And well done for the vaping that's really good aswel, I'm going to go back to it once I've finished this bacci I was just too stressed and needed a fag lol.
Oh have you I don't feel as alone in thinking it as some days I wish I was a child and other days just wish I wasn't here but currently trying to force myself to clean my room at least but I still haven't moved out of bed, but am aiming to do something today as I'm aching from not being active in the house,
My next dentist appointment is about 3more weeks away so I hope I've been seen again by the cmht or the pyschiatrist as I feel my meds arnt doing nothing for me and cos she said to stay as I am until I'm seen as they'll probs be changing meds I'm on a anxious wait if that makes sence and I can't deal with anticipation lol (always been the same when comes to waiting).
Well I now do have to move cos the dogs just been sick while typing, so think he's trying to get me moving, thanks for the chats it feels therapeutic.

Hope the dog’s ok. It is nice to have someone to chat to, I like it. I’m not surprised you feel anxious about waiting to see psychiatrist, waiting for a diagnosis and probable med change is a big deal. I have not done much today, walked the dogs and have done a bit of weeding. Normally I keep my garden nice but this year have done next to nothing and my flower beds are full of weeds, grass and bindweed and I just feel overwhelmed by it. Also my garden is at the front of my house and two of my dogs bark madly at anyone walking by which makes me really anxious so I keep scurrying back inside and puffing madly on my vape. I am on day 3 of not smoking at all and can’t stop eating, biscuits mostly.

Aww thanks he's fine he just eaten the bloody squeaker out of one of his toys but is back to his normal self now.
I agree it is really nice and refreshing, I'm feeling more and more anxious by the day from the waiting and each day seems to making me get more snappy and irratable also,
It's good that you've been walking the dogs and doing the garden as it's giving you some fresh air but I can imagine how you feel when someone walks past, at this rate though your weeds will be gone soon,
It's really good that your still vaping but it does make you eat more I found the first 2 weeks I was eating loads of crisps and ice cream but then I stopped, but the tables make me eat loads aswel, doesn't help that I've put over a stone on in the last 3 months

Interesting to hear that you ate loads when first vaping, I think the lithium is also
making me crave carbs. I have
definitely put weight on since I started
taking it, mostly on my tummy which I’m not happy about. I’m hoping it’ll stop soon. Glad your dog is ok, I have given up getting toys for my pack cos they just destroy them instantly. How are you feeling today? Has your psychiatrist appointment come
through yet? Do you think you’ll be able to go to it? Panic attacks are the worst. I’m on day 4 today of not smoking, chain vaping this morning.

Hi, I just can't stop eating and was still eating loads when I was smoking a few days ago so it could possibly be the mirtazipine? Maybe, I'm back on vaping now though.
Do you feel better on lithium? And how's your cravings now?
I had a awful day yesterday but have managed to get out of bed today and I've already been making homemade pizza dough and just about to clean then might attempt to go sit in garden for half an hour if I feel brave enough as still feeling anxious and don't really fancy a chit chat with the neibours today as I would most probs end up crying randomly like I have been doing, still awaiting the appointment and it's driving me mad but I'm going to get my mum to call the cmht I seen and see if she could give us a rough estimate as I'm anxious over it, and im thinking of going doctors to see if he can give me something to calm me for my appointments that I do have coming up as I'm stressing over going the dentist and I've only got my 30mgs left now n no 15mg so I'm gonna need a little something but hopefully he can help.
How you feeling? And how's the vaping?