Venafalaxine withdrawal

[Trooperslane2]

Been on VF since January - can't eat, barely functioning and after discussion with my GP coming off it.

I want to use this thread just to vent, to remind myself there was someone there before anxiety took over my life several years ago and to convince myself that I will be ok and DH will get his wife back again.

I've recently left a massively stressful job and I'm studying from September - I've just had another chat with a lovely Mum at nursery drop off and realised I haven't regretted this change for a minute!

Feel free to join in if you're weaning off too.

Today: probably a 6/10 but the sun is shining and I have nice plans - for me. Self care is the new medicating in our house.

Day 18.

Hit. By. A. Bus.

A really full on weekend and an emotional one with DD on stage. I'm still howling .

Shouty this am too. Not proud of myself. However a shit tonne of fuck off vitamin b complex super strength etc has just arrived.

I nearly kissed the postman. the one who I opened the door to with my boob out when sleep deprived more than once

I also have had to re mortgage the house because of that good advice that those a'holes on S&B gave me which I asked for

So. You know. Ups and downs. Rollercoaster. But FX more up than down.

Somehow this thread dropped off my list But I've just come back to wave the pompoms for everyone that's KOKO ing with withdrawal: you can all do it!

And op, I think some ratiness is inevitable when you've gone from feeling pretty much nothing to SLAM back-in-the-room: sounds like your DH is a good 'un. I'd consider hanging on to him a while longer

Has anyone tried out the Benadryl option, BTW? I have horrendous hay fever, but as they don't work for me, I didn't have any to hand when I was withdrawing. I'm still pinning all my hopes on that when my time comes again

Thanks Hefzi

It makes sense to me, I just don't like it.

Helping out for a day at a thing in DDs nursery WTAF was I thinking- but a nicely busy week ahead and stuff for me more than anyone else so hopefully by the weekend (3 weeks clear) I'll be able to cope a bit better.

Ah yes, the "benadryl"! It's not the same thing as in the UK version, it's the active ingredient in the US one. You can buy it from the pharmacy without prescription here as Nytol one a night. The ingredient you are looking for is diphenhydramine hydrochloride. It's also in some other US medicines, as I discovered when I realised it might be handy and obviously didn't have the UK stuff, but I do have a fantastic horde of US medicines.

It does seem to work for me. It takes away the weird laggy tingling feeling in the morning, and it did make things better in those first few weeks. I don't feel too groggy in the mornings either, but then I did just take a 25mg one.

I'm now just over 5 weeks out since the last crumb. Yesterday was horrid in terms of brain fog, clumsiness, tingly crap and all sorts, like a big relapse, as I'd come a long way. HOWEVER - I did have something really crappy happen on Saturday which sent my emotions into a massive tailspin, plus we were away for a few days so not my usual routine so how much of the feeling crap was down to those aspects I have no idea.

The crap thing on Saturday actually made me reconsider whether I should be back on ADs but I'm telling myself it is situational, and the human brain is supposed to be depressed at the appalling behaviour of others who are trying to hurt you, so, well, yeah.

In response to trying not to put people off - yes, it's not a lot of fun coming off, but so long as you time it okay not to coincide with something stressful/important, the worst part doesn't take long. The rest is dealable with, it genuinely is. I do think I am now at the stage where I couldn't conclusively say if my emotional state is down to the withdrawal, or just normal hormones/situations.

Hang in there everyone!

Hang in there chickacitas -

*In response to trying not to put people off - yes, it's not a lot of fun coming off, but so long as you time it okay not to coincide with something stressful/important, the worst part doesn't take long. The rest is dealable with, it genuinely is. I do think I am now at the stage where I couldn't conclusively say if my emotional state is down to the withdrawal, or just normal hormones/situations.

Hang in there everyone!*

This!

Somehow, I knew you'd know the science bit, Shattered- thank you (I've written it down so I remember ) Sorry you had a shitty Saturday - that sucks But it's probably a good sign that you've recognised you've been hurt by shitty, unacceptable behaviour, iyswim, rather than completely internalising everything.

And a loud cheerleader's yell to you and OP and other PPs- another week down, another week without Venlafaxine. (the is one of the mascots from the cheerleading squad, in case anyone was wondering what it's doing there. For some reason, there's no twenty stone cheerleader emoticon )

As a medical professional I've got to totally disagree with shattered advice re taking diphenhydramine...........

Oops, that's my fault, ips not Shattered's - I've seen Benadryl as a recommendation on the internet, for reducing Venlafaxine's withdrawal symptoms and was asking if anyone had tried. She wasn't recommending it to me at all- just telling me that us and UK Benadryl is different.

But I take your advice under advisement, thank you: I'm a few years away from complete withdrawal myself but it's useful to know - thank you

Day 20.

Woke up to a message that a lovely man who was best friends with my Ddad has died. Too late for me to travel to the funeral (though TBH in a way I'm relieved - that is cowardly of me but I'm not in much shape to deal with another funeral this year tbh).

Still feeling pretty off my head tbh. But so much better off than on. Definitely functioning better and able to do stuff - clearing piles of paper work that needed to be sorted months ago and had a great day with DD and her crazies nursery friends.

Uni application will be in tonight - have been 'crafting' procrastinating and have now got the energy to say fuck it - get it applied for.

A few other things sorted - first day at school lunch for DD and her friends (and their Mums and Dads) booked and we are also eligible for another country's passports feck it Ireland and those have been sitting for months and they're all filled in and nearly ready to go.

The Mrs Angry is still not my friend but I'm feeling calm right now and have another counselling appointment next week so FX I can keep my cool til then.

DD is at nursery more than I'd like, but that's because she's better there rather than with me right now. And someone gave me props for that upthread and I'm taking it again. Thank you x

I've said previously on the thread that I would not recommend anyone take anything without doing their research first.

In what context would you disagree with taking it? In my case, I did not take it whilst I was still taking any Venlafaxine, only after I had completely come off. Apologies if I was not clear on that front in that particular post, but it should be clear from my posting history on this thread. And when I do take it, it is in the recommended dosage on the packet. So no different to anyone else non-medicated taking it really - particularly as the crap sleep, and often getting to sleep is a big deal with the withdrawal, so it helps with that too.

Hefzi - I think unfortunately that whilst I recognised the issue was external, I did end up having to internalise it as I didn't really have anyone I could talk to about it. Mainly because I don't have any emotional support in my life - my attempts to reach out to family usually end in being ignored completely (but they expect me to listen to them..) and the nature of having four DC including some with SN means I'm pretty isolated socially these days. DH is useless for emotional support most of the time and often makes it worse if I try. Not surprising I have issues really!!

Hefzi you're a few years away from complete withdrawal?! Jesus.....

Day 22

Three weeks! THREE! There must be light at the end of the tunnel

Go me.

Mood: Dodgy
Head: Fuzzy
Appetite: Nope
Motivation: Better

Guzzling supplements like there's no tomorrow to see if that gives me a boost.

But. Big row with DH. DD playing up. There's so much going on in her little world, I get it. But nursery have had to speak to me every week for the last 3 about her behaviour. I must be partly responsible, which devastates me.

I'm going to be non shouty and I'm also going out with a friend tonight to do some fun stuff which will help and give DH some space.

Busy-ish weekend planned

Hefzi why a few years?!

Oh yeah.

Brain zaps: fewer, but every noise feels like a hatchet through my head. The birds can fuck right off with their cheep cheep cheep.

I'm just marking my place because I'm going to see my doctor next week as I want to reduce my dose. I currently take 150mg.

Welcome sweetboykit

Plenty of room x

How you doing Shattererd and Hefzi

shameless bump

The sensitive to noise thing is a real pain! I was already very sensitive due to sensory issues from ASD, but this does take it to a new level.

Most of the weird tingly stuff has gone now, I think I am properly coming out the other side.

However, so much situational and unrelated real-life shit has been hitting me recently (any one of these things would stress me out massively) that I can't tell where I am emotionally at all. It's just not a fair comparison - if I'd been this far out of withdrawal a few months ago, that would have been a reasonable comparison! Instead, I'm close to a complete mental breakdown, but in the circumstances I suspect most people would be.

That said, who is to say if me dealing with the withdrawal didn't make the behaviour of my ASD/PDA/ADHD DS worse? Not only could I not be there for him emotionally like I had been before as I needed to survive myself, but I was also a lot more irritable too. So in a way, withdrawal may well have contributed to one aspect of my current issues.

It's so hard to know shattered04

But in a way - does it matter? And the whole "if you're going through hell, keep going" struck me as a thing to think about.

I'm not sure if this would help but 6Music are playing some amazing strong female anthems right now and it's making me feel happy - good distraction.

I don't have ASD but I definitely have misophonia and I'm also very sensitive to dry stuff weirdo e.g. if my lips feel dry or if I touch a tissue and I hate my hands being too clean double weirdo for example. I can't bear DD whistling ATM.

But I do really believe that my mood has been flattened so much, particularly with venafalaxine that it feels like a cheep from a bird is like a cattle prod into my temple. I can rationalise it but it's horrible and puts me so on edge.

It's a bloody rollercoaster. Better just push on through. x

Day 24

Muggy and oppressive heat here today. Really need another thunderstorm to clear the air.

I am feeling absolutely shattered and can hardly keep my eyes open - two nights out in a row when I've barely been out since November- feeling flattened.

But I keep remembering that

1. I am feeling things again
2. I have amazing family and friends
3. This will not last forever
4. As DMIL says, the days are long but the years are short

I'm pretty sure the anti-depressants (both the Ven and the Citalopram I was on before) stopped me from having a proper laughing fit. I've had a few since coming off.

I've also had a lot more crying though, and felt a lot lower. I still can't work out if that's circumstantial (because these things genuinely are crap and I am back to where I was) or if I'm reacting worse because of the withdrawal.

It is not forever! Nothing lasts forever, even if we want it to. My mum always says "This too shall pass" and it does, whatever it is. Often replaced with something else just as hectic, but a change is as good as a rest, right?

As a general observation, I've found the extra sensitivity to be worse on days where I've slept in (even just an hour) or had too much sleep. I wonder why that is? It's almost like I need to sleep less, but I'm not getting enough sleep as it is.

Day 29

Survived DD's first school visit just and DMIL came yesterday to see graduation which I'm fucking dreading but several other Mums are cryers so I'll be in good company

Brain zaps still here, the feckers. Again, fewer and like you Shattered04 I've had a few belly laughs.

Proper crying at the Gran Classic thread :)

Just checking in with you guys - I'm not on MN every day, but this flaming thread keeps dropping off my list. If I wasn't already paranoid, I'd think it was a conspiracy

Sorry to read that things have been up and down, Shattered- it's so much more difficult, isn't it, when you don't have much of a rl support network: it's already so isolating when you are depressed that it somehow feels much worse that there isn't actually anyone you can talk to. How are you doing after your horrible situation the other week?

And Troop how's things at your end? Laughing is good, so that's a start. The weirdest thing for me about Venlafaxine is that it makes me feel as though I'm the other side of a pane of glass to life - so always just behind. The laughs are definitely lacking, though I really push myself to find something to laugh at at least every week - I have quite lowbrow tastes, so I can usually find an episode of Dad's Army that will do it, even if I have to force it on the beginning

Sending out a shout also to PP and bringing out the face pom poms again - one more day without Venlafaxine is one more day closer to no withdrawal symptoms

one more day without Venlafaxine is one more day closer to no withdrawal symptoms bearbearbear

it makes me feel as though I'm the other side of a pane of glass to life

this and this.

Father's Day is a hard one and DD had a big event yesterday (Mama - are you STILLLLL crying??!) so I'm exhausted and look like someone has punched me in the face, my eyes are so puffy.

And I've lost track of how many days I haven't had the medication so that has to be good, right?

Hope everyone has a good weekend. There's been an awful fire here (no loss of life thankfully) but the city is reeling. It's hard to cope with.