Venafalaxine withdrawal

[Trooperslane2]

Been on VF since January - can't eat, barely functioning and after discussion with my GP coming off it.

I want to use this thread just to vent, to remind myself there was someone there before anxiety took over my life several years ago and to convince myself that I will be ok and DH will get his wife back again.

I've recently left a massively stressful job and I'm studying from September - I've just had another chat with a lovely Mum at nursery drop off and realised I haven't regretted this change for a minute!

Feel free to join in if you're weaning off too.

Today: probably a 6/10 but the sun is shining and I have nice plans - for me. Self care is the new medicating in our house.

Lard - 75mg. I'm definitely hanging on in there.

The thread is more for me to vent and have a record so when I'm scared I'll have evidence to refer to.

Day 4 - so FX soon I'll be ok

We were supposed to be going away with some friends this weekend.

DH said "I don't think WE are in the right place to be hanging out with others right now"

I said "you mean ME!" and we both just about wet ourselves :)

See, getting better already :)

At least I have rediscovered my sense of humour which as others have said, I didn't even know it had gone MIA.

Hang in there! I think part of the reason I accelerated mine was because I just wanted it over with as quickly as possible. Every day is a new challenge to get through.

The crying phase has passed (for now!) although I think what is left is a more normal version of crying, as opposed to none at all before. I feel relatively stable today. I had the same scenario this morning with DS as I did on Thursday, but I had the patience to deal with it much more effectively this time so it didn't escalate into a total mental breakdown (me and him!) like it did on Thursday. I just solved it, and we were both happy.

That said, I'm taking all sorts of supplements, most with proven anti-depressant/anti-anxiety effects, so I have no idea what I would be like without them. Most of the supplements I couldn't take whilst on Venlafaxine; another reason I wanted to give it up. I was sick of being restricted!!

23 days out now, but still getting dizzy especially in the mornings. It gets better as the day goes on. That said, I looked up at a really tall building yesterday - not recommended!!

Mostly I just feel annoyed that I shouldn't have had to have been going through this, if I'd just been diagnosed with ADHD correctly when I was referred, instead of being told to effectively get lost. Then I could have been on the proper medication from the start, instead of using anti-depressants as sticking plasters when the source of the injuries was being left unchallenged.

Just catching up, op - you're rocking this withdrawal! Eating, crying - the end is in sight

I hear you about the bruises too Luckily, I am hugely fat, so I tend to ricochet off things. Except the wall by the bed, apparently I woke up the other morning convinced that my dream was going to be a best seller: sadly, the cold light of day tells me that bouncing spiders in a wheat field would be a very niche market

Keep going, op, you're nearly there

The withdrawal symptoms can be awful -- I know people who never got off it because of them. Myself, I had to slowly wean myself off over a period of two months.

When I told my GP about the withdrawal she told me most people don't have a problem. So this thread is good to see in the sense that I know I wasn't unusual.

Six - your doctor is talking out of her arse, as you can see by the posts on this thread!

Thanks for the Hefzi - I'm feeling a bit manic today and slightly unstable and actually angry and impatient with DD, which is not like me and I don't like.

DH however thinks it's the best he's seen me though I have just sent a stinker of an email to the rest of the building re works that need done and someone is dicking about taking no prisoners today

Lots on today and distraction is good.

Six - I had a pharmacy mess up mean I knew I was going to run out whilst I was away for a few nights in another city. I called NHS Direct, who I heard were able to issue an emergency prescription to a nearby pharmacy to cover those few days.

I rang the pharmacy as requested to check they'd received the fax(!) only to be asked by the pharmacist why on earth I wanted the medication. He insisted I would be fine without "for a day or two", even when I said I would start to feel weird even a few hours late for a dose. He tried to tell me that it was all in my head and that it wasn't possible for there to be any effect. I tried explaining about the short half life but he just talked over me. He begrudgingly agreed in the end to issue the medication, but my goodness, what a twat he was. He was a twat when I showed up as well, very rude.

I seriously hate the emotional instability part of withdrawal. Hang in there!

Shattered - I definitely felt it when I hadn't taken mine at the same time every day. It wasn't the same with citalporam and I could probably have managed for a day or two, but definitely not with this.

my friend who is a psych agrees with this too unlike Mr Twatty Pharmacist

Yep, exactly! I didn't always notice with citalopram right away either. But I was always getting edgy when I was due a dose with the venlafaxine, and even a few hours late I'd get a headache sometimes. Often it was the first clue I'd forgotten to take it!

Yep - me too.

DH has just sent me this which is totally nothing to do with anything but it made me laugh like I was going to pass out :)

If anyone's struggling today, it might help

twitter.com/i/moments/998628336346783745

Ha! That is so good to read. I've never volunteered for school trips because I knew I couldn't handle it, but some parents seem to fight over who gets to go which always confused me. Having read that, I think I made the right call.. it's exactly as I'd expect it to be!

Wow. I’ve finally found people who deal with the crazy world of venlafaxine too. I’m on 300mg, have been for a few years. Glad I’m not the only one to have the craziest, most frightening and lurid dreams ever. If I ever forget a dose (rare) they are amplified and I wake up absolutely drenched in sweat. I am scared about ever having to come off them because I can’t imagine how horrific withdrawal would be.

Also, how would you describe the brain zaps? I get a lot of funny side effects but I often struggle to articulate quite how they make me feel.

I've been on 300mg and come off it totally 3 times.
It's hard but there's an end in sight and at least I knew why I was feeling so bloody awful

It may not be as bad for others. I don't want folk to feel they have to stay on them as they're too scared to come off them

Brainzaps are like little twitches/elasticband pings in your brain.like falling off the pavement

If I forget to take it at the same time, I feel dizzy and when I turn my head it's like things take a while to catch up as if in slow motion

I've not had a night without horrendous nightmares for more than 10 years but it's all worth it for me as I genuinely think I'd not be here if it wasn't for this drug

I never had any brain zaps, whilst on it, or coming off. At least, not anything that seems to match the description. I get a weird laggy vision, and something similar to the feeling you have in your skin when you have a fever (but without the temperature) which occurs when I move, but nothing like a "zap".

I'm finding it odd not having a dream hanging over me all day any more!!

The feeling of always being too hot is the worst thing for me. Sometimes actually dripping in sweat is difficult to hide from people

I think this is one of the worst days yet.

I'm having brain zaps which are knocking me sideways. DH is going to have to drive when we go away for the weekend tonight because there's no way I can.

I'm also furious and I hate myself for being so impatient with DD - she's really confused and tearful and I have to keep walking out of the room so I don't shout at her - she's not behaving any differently than any other day. And I'm not boasting but I am the least shouty Mum - I just have never done it (no judging anyone else, that's just the way I am). My heart is broken for her.

And she's doing what normal fucking infuriating 4 year olds do but I can't cope with her like I normally can

I've put her into nursery when we were meant to be having a fun day off together planning our trip this weekend and packing.

I feel so awful and I'm sitting here crying - I could be enjoying the sun.

Kick up arse required, people.

Though I have just seen this twitter.com/BadLipReading/status/999018184744157184

and it's very funny so I have had a bit of a laugh this morning.

Shattered would you mind telling me/PMing me your list of supplements?

In my fog I've realised I actually haven't eaten properly for 6 - 8 months so in one way it's no wonder I'm all over the shop and my hair is falling out, my nails are shot to bits, my hands look like my Granny's and I have a turkey neck

Hefzi I am thinner than when I met DH in 1995. I do. not. look. good.

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Right, OP - I'm not going to kick your arse, because you don't need or deserve that BUT I am going to ask you to be kinder to yourself. Much, much kinder!

Withdrawal from any drug is a motherfucking bastard, and Venlafaxine is a very well known bastardy bastard (though I will admit that I don't have a direct comparison with heroin, for example!). You get all the horrible physical symptoms, and on top of that, all the horrible mental ones - from being able to do radical things like have feelings again. You are doing awesomely, really.

You are also being really sensible and controlled about your daughter. Things are a struggle at the moment, because of the withdrawal shite, so instead of screaming, shouting and being volatile with her, all the time, you are doing your best to remove yourself from the situation, and, incredibly sensibly, to let her go to nursery. So you are doing a brilliant job of being caring, supportive and sensible to your daughter, whilst at the same time coping with all those horrible withdrawal things. You've just shown (again) your strength and resilience about her, so please stop beating yourself up about it. It's much, much better, for both of you, to let her go off and be with her friends at nursery today, and though it's hard for you, because you wanted to have fun together, it will be way better fun when you are both fully up to it. And in the grand scheme of things, that's not long now. You've persevered with the withdrawal, and honestly, I would bet this time next month at the latest, you will be back to full Trooperdom and ready to continue with your normal style of parenting. Your daughter isn't going to remember this, and it's not going to scar her for life - at the worst case scenario, she has maybe wondered why mummy is cross/sad/angry/upset, and then carried on with her day. You feel shit about it, of course, but I am fairly sure she doesn't right now.

And have a cry, if that's what you need: sometimes, it's good to get it out. It doesn't mean anything other than you need a bit of a cry just now. And what you definitely need is a , and (as a slender person in need of building up!) a AND some !

I hope you have a lovely, lovely weekend - but if you also feel frazzled and teary and stressed, that's also OK too. You're getting through this a day at a time, and some days you'll rock it and some days will be best drawn a line under. But cut yourself some slack - you've been ill for a while, so you aren't going to go straight into perfect health.

I never managed to crack the hair thing (luckily, I have vast amounts, which is fairly amazing as I lose handfuls every day) but I am sure something like Perfectil for hair and nails would be of benefit. Also, as you've not been eating right for months, I bet you'd find a high dose B complex would be beneficial - I think it's B12 deficiency that can mimic some symptoms of depression - and D3, just because most people in the UK are apparently deficient anyway.

If you are open to less mainstream stuff (and I admit my judgement is shite on these sorts of things, as I've been so desperate for a "cure"... Though I do now admit crystals don't work - but they are pretty ) I find that L-tyrosine (an amino) is helpful if I'm getting agitated and teary (I think, from memory, I took about four a day till I'd finished the first bottle, and then as needed - I read about it in a book called The Mood Cure). Quite a few supplements - 5HTP, St John's Wort, tryptophan - aren't suitable for use with ADs because of the risk of serotonin syndrome, but L-tyrosine works on something else (as you can see, I am well up on the science ) it's OK. I've also recently added in asghawanda (sp) - basically, Indian Ginseng - which is a support for stress. Again, I think it's working so far, but with the disclaimer that desperation has a big impact on the placebo effect You can get them in Holland and Barrett or from the magic Internet - from memory, the Ginseng I can't spell came from Amazon. I went with Solgar, because I am familiar and comfortable with the brand, but there were masses of others.

And - for getting through this whale of a post, have more , and ! Have a lovely weekend away - and remember, we're all rooting for you too, and we're only the other end of your Internet connection

Ooh, massive cross post, sorry- I'm a slow predictive texter

Oh, and while I'm on a thread - hogging roll, how about some kind of protein shake to help you build your weight back up? I have no idea of the nutrition (clearly ) but they seem to be big on healthy gains, and might be a good way to boost calories, especially as you've not been eating much, and I could imagine big platefuls of food could be both overwhelming and hard to stomach right now. From what I understand, you can put them into smoothies or yoghurt or something, so more like having a drink than a meal.

I can completely understand the irritability. Doesn't always help me either depending on where in my cycle I am either. Some days the children can get away with murder, then other days it's another story, and as there's SN involved with them too, me being anything other than calm and patient just makes things, well, epic. And not in a good way. Probably explains why I broke down last week in public.

As well as taking the usual multivitamins, I also take a B complex (look for the "active" versions, not the bog standard Holland and Barrett stuff). And extra fish oils, as they can apparently help. I went for twice the usual dose for good measure. And the magnesium, naturally.

On top of those more regular supplements, I am taking 5-HTP which is serotonin-related so do not take this until you've dropped an antidepressant completely. CBD oil calms me a bit, but it is very pricey so I don't know if I'll stick with it.

Also once you're off completely, look into SAM-e, rhodiola, GABA and ashwagandha; these all seem to have good anecdotal evidence and some reasonable research evidence as well. They're not as easy to get hold of, but if Amazon UK fails, you can order direct from Swanson in the US. I recommend them because their postage is completely reasonable, not your usual "UK is it? That's $50 then for this bit of paper!" although be aware you will have to pay duty. As far as I'm aware, there's nothing illegal about importing, or using, any of the above.

I'm not saying I take all of those, nor am I going to make any recommendations on what to take, because it really is something people should do their own research on to understand what they're for and how they work and if they're suitable. But they are supplements that come up a lot in discussions that help the mind (including clearing brain fog and improving focus, this is of interest to me due to having ADD) so it's worth taking a look!

Hefzi - heh, massive x-post too! I forgot about the amino acids - I'm also using L-Tyrosine and as you say, L-Tryptophan is only allowed once you're off. I'm sure I read amino acids are best on an empty stomach. L-Tryptophan is definitely one for bedtime though. And I found my running times improved with L-Tyrosine if I took it an hour or so before; it definitely was not all in my head as I did some controlled studies (involving just me, but still!)

Good to see we both recommend the ashwagandha

I totally agree that OP is doing the right thing putting her daughter in nursery - that's the sign of being a great parent. It's all about getting through one day at a time!

CAN YOU ALL STOP BEING SO LOVELY?

(I'm bawling again)

But thank you

DH is amazing and I have 2 good friends who get it and 1 good work friend who has also had some tough times who also gets it, but I don't feel I want to burden her right now, she's in a shit show of none of her own doing.

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

again for your kindness.

OP even if you didn't have any rl support, we've still got your back - no harm having different layers of support and definitely no shame in it either. Now get out there and have a brilliant trip!

Shattered great minds think alike

Did you read The Mood Cure also? I will definitely - if I can ever get off these tablets - be giving more things a go. Unlike you, my controlled studies consist of me saying "oh, I definitely feel better than yesterday" I get a bit dazzled by science too: oh, look, it's in an article, well, they wouldn't publish it if it wasn't true (despite ordinarily having very good critical thinking skills )

Interesting too that it's helped your running - I used to run before I got ill this time, and in my head, it's definitely happening again soon. But now I know it's helped you, I will now be convinced that I will set a new pb as soon as I dust my runners off

Definitely no harm in having multiple layers of support. And after all, depression is so bloody isolating, often online communication (and total strangers!) can give you some of what you need. In my case there is nobody, not a sausage, in RL that I can talk to about any of this. It's not that I'm ashamed, it's just it doesn't seem appropriate with the types of relationship I have with people.

I haven't read "The Mood Cure" but it sounds interesting - I'll have to take a look, thank you! It does appear to cover a lot of the areas I'm looking at.

I have to admit a lot of my motivation for ditching the Venlafaxine was that after doing so much research to try and boost my crappy attention (before I finally got Elvanse through diagnosed ADD) I saw there were so many non-prescription things I could have tried. And nearly all of them incompatible with the Ven! Honestly, SSRIs and SNRIs are terrible for supplement junkies although I guess nothing could be as bad as MAOIs!

Most of my controlled studies are much as you describe too! It's just the L-tyrosine really grabbed my attention when I suddenly knocked a minute off my 5K time for no apparent reason.

I do take a lot of it with a pinch of salt, but I try it anyway. I swear I rattle with all that I take. My aim is to get to a "good place" (not actually sure this is possible) and then dropping things one at a time and seeing what happens over the course of a month. I'll start with the slightly more dubious things, and work my way down until I'm left with a core that works for me. And Amazon subscribe and save will be very very sad.