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Original poster

Anyone actually ENJOYING their life ?

51 replies

scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 10:58

Coz I'm not !

I'm fed up - fed up with work, fed up with dh being grumpy and not paying me any attention, fed up with dd being a rude stroppy 6 yr old, fed up with everything ?

Even getting fed up with mumsnet and some of the attitudes on here at the moment !

Keep crying - feel like I am crap mummy, crap at my job, crap wife, crap daughetr etc etc

Generally crap !

OP posts:
clutteredup · 10/05/2007 11:02

Hey you,sounds like you're having bad day. [comforting hug, big box of tissues and huge box of chocs] Areyou tired or hormonal today or is it something more serious? I'm knackered at the moment, sleep deprived and therefore mning instead of doing what I'm s'posed to so i'll listen.

Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:06

Am a bit ill - only a bad cold but I am skiving off work as I am so fed up.

It's been building up on me for ages - kept thinking it was PMT - but it went on and on and on - I have so much to be glad about but I just feel rubbish.

My 6.5 yr old has been waking us up in the night for a few weeks - no real reasons - just has been waking and coming in and waking us. So I am a bit sleep deprived - but have a few good nights thanks to Medised. But I feel bad giving it to her.

Work is heavy going - feel like I am going to snap - do something silly like resign - but we need the money.

OP posts:
Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:12

Am racking my brains to try and remember when I last enjoyed something ! Other than food !

OP posts:
clutteredup · 10/05/2007 11:13

when you say its been building up for a while how long do you think, a few days weeks months or years?

Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:16

Years !

Ever since I had dd really - I hated it, hated being at home with her, I eventually went to the docs and he said it was PND - so I took citalopram for a few months - but it just made me feel dopey and fuzzy - not happy. So I stopped. That was about 3 yrs ago I think.

I thought going back to work had sorted me out - but it's such a hard job and the commuting is vile and I am always rushing to work or rushing to get dd. there is no time for me - all I do is rush, drive, work, shop, eat, sleep and start again. I watch too much TV - I am getting old and ugly and fat, I don't like myself anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:16

Thanks for listening by the way !

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 10/05/2007 11:17

You have to love life. You only get one.

Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:18

I want to - I do. I know I have nothing real to complain about - am I just being self indulgent - that's what my mother would say !

OP posts:
LucyJones · 10/05/2007 11:19

How about instead of focusing on the negative think positive. So if you feel a bit fat frumpy and old maybe think about how you can change that? Do some exercise you enjoy doing maybe?

Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:20

I've been trying Lucy - but can't summon the energy or make the time

OP posts:
LucyJones · 10/05/2007 11:21

you could join one of the threads on her - www does one I think which might motivate you?

dontwanttogetoutofbed · 10/05/2007 11:22

if your feeling like this for a long time perhaps you either - need a vacation - need to take time once a week to do something that makes you feel great like a pedicure - maybe have a mild depression and consider taking st johns wort for a while?

IcingOnTheCake · 10/05/2007 11:22

I don't really know what to say except offer you hugs. I am going through a rough patch at the moment so i really do feel for you.x

foxinsocks · 10/05/2007 11:23

you don't sound self indulgent. You do sound knackered though and being sleep deprived is just crap.

How about trying to think of something to look forward to? Have you planned a summer holiday? Can you book a babysitter and go out for the night?

Life is crap sometimes though. But when you start feeling crap all the time, it might be worth having a chat with the GP.

clutteredup · 10/05/2007 11:25

Oh you poor poor thing. You still have PND, it doesn't just go away. I had it for 5.5 years - mine has (at the moment, hopefully for ever) when I had DD2 4 months ago - 2 more children is a drastic solution and i wouldn't necessarily reccommend it! - but I can some way understand what you feel like. In fact to be honest its only really been in the last few weeks I've really realised quite how bad my life was . Anyway this isn't abot me it's about you,[nice frothy cappucino and one of those lovely biscuits they serve them with].
The thing is where are we going to start, its not fair you have to feel like this, its not fair you've been feeling like this for so long and it's not fair that no one can see what a shit time you're having.
By the way I bet you're not old, ugly or that fat, but if you feel like it it doesn't matter what you look like. What is DH like, is he supportive and understanding or not interested, I bet he's been worrying about you.

IdrisTheDragon · 10/05/2007 11:25

I wouldn't go as far as to say I am enjoying my life, but it's OK.

I have things I am looking forward to, which is good. But I share the feeling of being useless mother, wife, employee, daughter etc. Lack of sleep doesn't help. Lack of DH being around recently doesn't help.

But I will keep on plodding away. I am at least trying to sort out my work issues, which is a step in the right dircetion.

I wish I didn't have depressive tendencies. But they're a part of me, so I just have to put up with them.

bobsyouruncle · 10/05/2007 11:25

I get bouts of mild depression and really have to force myself to eat well, try to get enough sleep (not easy I know!), drink less alcohol, and get some time to myself to do things that make me feel better - for me that could be reading a good book, watching a good film, a night out, visit friends. Getting my hair done or buying myself a new outfit, something I think makes me look better, helps too. Sorry you're feeling so bad.

Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:27

I tried that "planning things to look forward to" - ended up deciding to move house, and the new house is fab - not 100% perfect - but maybe 90% which is pretty great. Mortgage bigger though - which means I can't reduce hours at work - so can't amke mre time for me really.

Also booked a few shows to see in London - actually I did enjoy Mary Poppins - that's cheered me up a bit now actually remembering that. And we are seeing Sound of Music next month.

No holiday booked - as we are moving - but dh says we will get a last minute holiday and go abroad this year - we have done Cornwall ever since dd born !

Am worried about money - think I will go and get all my statements and see if I can sort my finances out - maybe I am worrying about them subconsciously.

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Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:31

Thank you all so much for talking to me by the way !

dh is not really supportive no ! he doesn't know I had PND - when I was pg he and his mother had a converstaion in front of me that went along the lines of "Scatterbrain is too sensible to get that silly PND thing though - I think people just put it on - it's ridiculous - how could anyone be depressed with a lovely little baby etc" - so when I realised I had it I could not talk to him about it.

He is very very grumpy recently - very stressed himself at work and although he has always had a very low sex drive he has recently started hassling me for sex - we virtually never have sex tbh ! he also keeps saying we should have another baby - when I can't cope with the one I have !

On times I want to leave him - I think he is the problem - but then I think I do love him and we have been together forever and if I split up with him I wouldn't want another man - so what's the point of going through the hassle and disruption to dd. So i stay and don't say anything.

I am waffling now - sorry !

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secondclasscitizen · 10/05/2007 11:33

No i hate my landlord. bunch of fucking fuckrs. i'm going to fucking screw them over he fuckers.

Sorry your having shit time scatterB.

get pissed. it makes things seem more blurry.

clutteredup · 10/05/2007 11:34

try asking wheteher or not you think you're being reasnoable. I know it sounds silly but if you were talking to yourself as a friend how would you feel about you?i bet you would be kinder to a friennd or another mner than you are to yourself. Oh by the way sorry about the chocs, its probably not what you should be eating, I gave up sugar for lent and after a few days of being utterlyunpleasant i felt better than i had done in ages - mind you sometime you just have to - i ate a bad of jeelyworms last night, DH not home till tonight.

Original poster
scatterbrain · 10/05/2007 11:34

Yep tried that a lot - can't take my drink like I used to though - 1 glass of vino gives me stinking headache these days - am an old croc !

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clutteredup · 10/05/2007 11:45

right well that didn't help did it. I bet you MIL had PND and had a hard time and 'got through, so anyone can' - i thinkits a generational thing but not bloody helpful, how horrible!
Right if DH doesn't think you have PND now is the time to put him straight.
Remember he's not his mother so he might listen to you.
first you need to tell him you have it.
Then you need to tell him you went to the doctor's for treatment and didn't tell him, explaining why you didn't - blame the PND first and his mother second, don't blame him because if he'slike my DH all he'll focus on from here on is himself.
Tell him you love him but the PND has made you confused about the way you feel about everything and that's why 'you might have been a bit funny about things'
I know this sounds a bit like your saying its all your fault - it is very definitely not your fault- but if you present it to him in this way you'll get him onside,he's probably been thinking you're mad at him and therefore been off and angry back.
Lastly tell him you want his help to get help to get better - men like to be able to fix stuff!
Try to get him to come to the doctor with you to discuss your PND so he hears it from someone else - in this case i would reccommend a male doctor just so he doesn't feel a female conspiracy
talk about alternatives to drugs aswell and he can help with this
i know this sounds a bit down on men but it's not supposed to be it's about trying to get him onside without frightening him off especially if his mum has already told him 'you're too sensible for all this' he probably thinks the baby thing might make you happier.Sorry a very long posting

clutteredup · 10/05/2007 11:47

sorry crossed posts

Disgruntled · 10/05/2007 12:13

You are not alone, Scatterbrain. Trust me.