what do you do to help yourself when depressed

[Babettesidsefreyaallthescandi]

Hi,
I am struggling with depression at the moment and getting through the day requires so much effort and determination. I am adjusting to a new medication which probably isn't helping. I am trying to shower every day and wear clean clothes and make something to eat. I can only face food shopping if someone is with me and don't feel confident enough to drive. I know about the principles of CBT and try not to think of negative consequences of being ill( like losing my job and home) but find these thoughts creep in particularly on waking.
What do you do to get yourself through the day?

Thanks Aunty. I have an appointment on Monday. I am going to tell them that I think the quetiapine is making me feel a lot worse although I have a feeling that they may suggest putting the dose up. I would like to try an antidepressant but when I was on them last and the dose was increased I had a very mild episode of hypomania, hence the quetiapine. I think that I will mange to get out and buy some nice food - I have just had to eat for the sake of it and that is not very pleasant.

That’s good that you have an appt coming up.
Was the mild hypomania in response to an SSRI? It’s so disappointing when you don’t respond as hoped to medication isn’t it.
I hope you find some food to tempt you. Sending a virtual hug.

Hug received and appreciated. Yes, the hypomania was in response to Mirtazapine. Now I am being assessed for bipolar and feel like I am already on a medication conveyer belt. I have had no issues with my mental health until recent times.

Do you have any idea what the trigger was this time? (Not that there is always an apparent trigger.)
Would it be worth looking again at your HRT, discussing an increase in dose?

The increase in Mirtazapine was the trigger this time. I think that my HRT could be increased. I am using 3/4 of a patch after having a bleed on the full patch a while ago. I could increase to a full patch again. I feel that the strength of the quetiapine would overrule any other changes in my body if that makes sense. Last week I had to beg my GP to be able to continue using it despite only having been on it for just over 2 years just about managed to convince her that now isn't the time.

Happy Birthday
Nice food sounds good. I just went and got myself sole Greek yoghurt and strawberries. Get whatever you fancy, even if it's a whole cake it is your birthday after all!
Medications are so difficult aren't they definitely push for an anti depressant if that's what you want.
Are you having any kind of therapy? Is that an option for you?

Thanks Q
I am just seeing a (very young) CPN - I don't think that I can afford therapy sadly. I will push for something definitely. I have just bought a few ready meals as a treat from M&S with a gift card from a friend. My mood lifts slightly towards the end of the day. I don't know if that is common in depression or possibly due to the quetiapine wearing off. Just lit a burner with bergamot to see if that lifts my mood a little too.
Strawberries and yoghurt sounds lovely.

Good wishes on your birthday.
I don't have the knowledge to contribute to the discussion on your meds I'm afraid but it's good to hear that you have felt up to a little treat.

Happy Birthday Babette!! Hope you get some sleep tonight . Well done for persevering with your GP, it's so hard to advocate for yourself when you feel like this. M&S ready meals treats sounds great. Had the same thought myself yesterday and just polished off a sherry trifle. Was amazing! It's the small things for sure.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. I slept with the aid of a sleeping pill, partly because it was my birthday and partly to try and reset my sleep pattern from this every other night pattern.

Do you feel better after a proper sleep?
My DD was up 1.30-5am last night! I'm running on empty. It's definitely harder when you're tired. I've found today that showering helped. And just trying to keep busy playing with DD, but playing with a 2 year old isn't the most relaxing task!
What's the weather like where you are? It's nice and sunny here again and almost warm!!!

Happy birthday OP. Not sure if others have suggested but flowers actually are proven to be quite helpful for mental health. Nice smells send positive messages to your brain, so do try to enjoy sniffing flowers or other pleasant aromas! It also encourages deep breaths. Fresh air makes such a difference, I get exercising or doing stuff like shopping would feel like a real challenge but maybe try being in your garden or walking around your block, at a quiet time. This will also help your confidence. I second radio and pets if you have them to help relax you and baths.
Push your GP for more effective face to face help than a CPN. They should be able to recommend ways to access counselling locally if not available through NHS. Some areas have women’s centres or charities that offer therapy. Hope you feel better soon

Q, that it tough having to cope with a young child on little sleep. It is a lovely day and I have managed to walk around the block to post some letters and also 10 minutes on the treadmill. Changing the linen on the bed was tough but it made me feel that I am trying to nurture myself.Cyber, I like using aromatherapy oils for the smell effect. At my meeting on Monday I will ask about talking therapies. I like my CPN but I think that she probably isn't trained in something like CBT. I am really hoping to be given some kind of antidepressant to go with the quetiapine.

Happy Birthday OP .

Fantastic responses in this thread, such good advice from everyone that I would totally agree with. Small steps. Small steps.

I've been where you are many times and had a total breakdown over my 30th birthday. I just wanted to reassure you that you are doing all the right things for you. :) You are in the process of getting help, you are taking care of yourself despite it being like going through treacle, and you are even getting out and about, which is fantastic :)

I'm not entirely certain that what I can offer will definitely help the low times, as I find it variable myself, but when it gets really bad just take it one day, hour, moment at a time. Eat where you can. Order tasty/your favourite foods to keep as much appetite as possible. Sleep/nap if you can. Getting up and dressed and showered is good if you can manage it. Reading helps me, but I know you said you find it hard to concentrate for long. That's totally OK - doing something even for a few minutes is great.

Something I'm trying hard to do, but it helps when I do it - make sure you praise yourself for what you are achieving, even if it is just getting out of bed, sitting up, having a nibble, or even just trying even if you don't succeed. Out loud, mentally (I do it in my head). When depressed and anxious, that head-voice can be brutal and nasty, so it can be nice to hear praise from it instead. Plus, you ARE doing an amazing job, so it's good to remind yourself of what you are achieving each day (even if it feels really weird and fake at first!). Getting out and round the block and changing the linen when feeling like this is amazing. Now don't forget to reward yourself. :)

Finally, if you get those moments where you are feeling just terrible, as others have said, look after yourself - get snuggled up and comfy wherever you want to - be in whatever activity makes you happy - and remember that we are all here for you, thinking of you, and proud of you. The feelings will pass.

Much love to you, you are so very strong x

I've suffered with depression for 20 + years.you name an anti depressant,I've tried it...ended up a year ago with the gp putting me on some heavy duty shit ,where I spent the night not knowing where I was when I went for a wee.and the day ,trying to drive the kids to school feeling stoned...I only took one tablet it scared me feeling like that,and since then I realised I have to help myself...so I'm now taking a huge amount of vitamins ,iron,b12 ,magnesium,potassium,d3,all the omegas,and a multi vitamin..I still have down days ,but I also now have days where I feel ok...which considering I've felt life wasn't worth living in the past ,is good for me....I have come off all anti depressants with my gps support,and I know if I have a bad wobble he's there for me to try them again..this is probably irrelevant,but I think my anti depressants never worked because I had/ have undiagnosed autism,..but that's another story .

Sorry forgot to say good luck op ,it is shit when you feel so down xx💐

What a beautiful post kitty, thank you. I think the most predominant feeling is fear of what the future holds and grief of the life I had, even a few weeks ago. I find seeing people living their lives unbearable and can't believe that they are able to do things so easily. I am proud of what I have done today.

Babette (I hope it's OK for me to shorten your username like that), I completely understand. I felt the same way during my breakdown. I didn't think I would ever feel happy again, after crying pretty much constantly for a week with little respite. I felt guilt about letting down work and not being able to go to classes. I was upset about what I was missing out on while everyone carried on as normal without (what seemed to me) a care in the world. As you say, they make it look so easy, and you wonder, why can't I as well?

Now I'm back at work full time, dancing and teaching and the having energy to indulge in other hobbies. This from being - at my lowest point - unable to get up off the sofa in sheer terror, and a 15 minute walk to the shops exhausting me for the rest of the day.

I have two main points for these thoughts in the first paragraph :)

1. The fear, guilt, grief - these will pass as you get better and better. Your old life is not gone. When you get little lights of hope during the day, where the black cloud briefly lifts and you see a shimmer of normality - those will last longer and longer. Try not to despair when the cloud descends once more, because it will. It's just part of the journey. I know that doesn't help when you're in it - it feels like eternity and being lost in a fog of sadness. All you can do is what you are doing, putting one foot in front of the other, claiming small victories (which are actually huge, by the way), and forgiving yourself for any stumbles backwards. Before you know it, you'll have a moment of 'Wait... a feel happy right now!' and it may pass quickly, but it proves that it's not gone forever. Then you'll think 'Hey... I did x more tasks than when it first started' or 'Wow I went out for much longer without being exhausted than X time' etc. You probably wont even notice at first, but it's happening. :)

1. Seeing other people cope so easily is where the being kind to yourself comes in. Imagine if you were laid up in bed with glandular fever, pneumonia, broken legs, or something similar. You wouldn't keep telling yourself (at least, not as much!) I should be out doing X and Y, I should be getting better quicker - because it is an illness, an event, and your body will heal when it heals. You would take little steps each day on the road to recovery. Just substitute those conditions with depression/anxiety/any other mental illness, and it's exactly the same. Your body as well as your mind/brain need to heal, and that takes time. It's not who you are. It's something that you are recovering from. :)

I hope that you continue to see how well you are doing, and keep posting whenever you need more support. I'm new here, but everyone seems absolutely lovely, so I'm sure you can always be uplifted here. As others have said, push for further help from the GP/NHS etc. It's hard when you are already in a fugue, but you deserve the right support, and getting on the right meds will make a huge difference. You've already done fantastically to get where you are with it, don't give up!

Gah - another big rambly post! I really need to limit myself

You write about your experiences so well, Kitty. I too am a teacher and can't even imagine how I could work at the moment. It is so true what you say about how one would cope if it was a physical illness. thank you so much for taking the time to think about me, it really means a lot.

Managed a little sleep but now feeling agitated and uncomfortable because of a brewing UTI. I am trying to mange it myself with cymalon and drinking lots but worried that it may escalate over the weekend. Last thing I need.

Can you get to a walk in OP?

I was wondering if you’ve had a urine test, Babette (sorry if you’ve already said). At my GP you can just drop a sample in and they test them. May be yours has similar?

Thanks. I am not sure if my GP has that. I keep putting off doing something as I am hoping that it will just clear up by me drinking lots and using cymalon. Everything seems harder because of my state of mind.

Really struggling today, probably my worst day. I have got a UTI and trying to deal with that is just exhausting me. I don't know what to do with myself to find any physical or mental peace.

Op

UTIs are horrid. Have you been to the gp? I can never get rid of them myself.
Is your DH home? Or your DS? Maybe you could stick a film on and get a take away to try and take your mind off things? X