what do you do to help yourself when depressed

[Babettesidsefreyaallthescandi]

Hi,
I am struggling with depression at the moment and getting through the day requires so much effort and determination. I am adjusting to a new medication which probably isn't helping. I am trying to shower every day and wear clean clothes and make something to eat. I can only face food shopping if someone is with me and don't feel confident enough to drive. I know about the principles of CBT and try not to think of negative consequences of being ill( like losing my job and home) but find these thoughts creep in particularly on waking.
What do you do to get yourself through the day?

I find my mental health plummets when my house is a mess. I don't keep a show home by any standarf but making the beds every day, making sure the kitchen is reasonably clean before I go to bed and not letting the kids toys pile up definitely has a big impact.

If you can, don’t worry about your world shrinking. I think it’s protective, and it will open out again as you get better.
Meanwhile, hot water bottles, hot drinks, create a duvet nest, anything comforting. To balance the effort you are putting in to exercise etc.
And try not to put pressure on yourself re your son. If you’ve always been supportive and strong for him then imo it’s ok for him to see that you are ill at the moment. It’s just how things are right now. The more you can accept things as they are for the moment and not put pressure on yourself the better at the moment.

Thank you for the encouraging messages. I have thought about drawing although I am not good at it.

Hi OP, I second getting outside even for a ten or 15 minute walk and the a reward when you get home, a cup of tea.

Structure every day

My depression comes along with anxiety and ocd and I've found telling people helps because otherwise I fear my friends have abandoned me and hate me

Do you like reading? Absorbing yourself in a book or tv series is good

Music!

I love my pets a lot and more so as I have aged a bit

Accepting how you feel and knowing you will get better one day, even though that may not be soon

Accept you're not well. I sometimes just tell people I'm not feeling well. Nobody ever asks for specifics!
Pinterest- motivational quotes

Us!!

*I have thought about drawing although I am not good at it." It doesn't matter whether or not you are "good at it". That's not the point. The point is the doing of it. I go through bouts of extreme depression, and I know how horrendous it is. If I could do one small thing a day where I could say at the end "I did that", I found that helped a lot - even if it took less than half an hour. I suggested baking above, because it was something I found that helped me. I'm not good at it. In fact, in general, I hate cooking of the everyday sort. But I found I could follow a simple recipe, make a basic cake and have something there that I made/I did as a tangible thing. I had to force myself, though, at first, and that was hard.

I have such respect for you. You show such determination to carry on and still are sensitive to your family's feelings.
Believe that this difficult time will pass. You won't always feel like this. In the mean time, whilst hopefully finding the right meds to help, I think the idea of a routine is helpful Or at least a loose framework for your day. That way, you don't have any choices or decisions to make. You just do your routine and get through the day.
Do your treadmill in the morning or early afternoon. Later is unhelpful for sleep.
Afterwards a bath or shower and get dressed.
If you can't face going out, wrap up in a duvet and sit near a window to get the light and the outlook on the outside world.
I find the radio really helpful- I'm talking radio 2- just music and a bit of undemanding chat.
That may be all you can manage in your daily routine- or perhaps you could do a drawing project in the afternoon? Keep going.

Thank you urbi.Your post showed that you really understand. I am just about being able to carry on and feel like a need a lot of courage to keep going. Not having any or very few periods of respite is hard and I wish I could sleep.

Everyone starts as a beginner OP one of the great things about drawing or painting is that you can see a clear progression and it's uplifting to see yourself improving in something. I start small, just a few sketches or doodles. Don't put too much pressure on yourself for it to be 'good'. You made it so it is what it is!
You sound like a really loving mum and I'm sure your son just want to help you so e can see you get better.

Take some vitamins, especially vitamin D. Getting light into your eyes will help to a degree. I have found supplements have really helped me in the past, especially iron. I also find eating saturated fat helps. I buy cheap fatty cuts of beef with bones in and slow cook them and eat the fat. It definitely seems to help.
I firmly believe that in the winter we are supposed to go into a 'lesser state'. Most mammals do and we try and medicate our way out of it and keep going when, if we were still cave dwellers, we would probably wrap up in loads of furs, hunker down and only get up for a bite of a few dried berries, a scratch and a piddle every few days and sleep the winter through. I also think we should sleep in the day too though and think that the Spanish and their siestas have got this bit right.

Babette it's the pits isn't it? Letting people know and asking them for help is the hardest I reckon. But in my experience has a really positive effect - so maybe have an honest conversation with your son re your illness. I've just had about 10 weeks off work with it (tend to have a period of illness every few years and in 40's now) and eating well, trying to walk outside everyday and sleeping lots helped me this time But in the past what has helped has varied, have tried everything from tons of exercise, lamp boxes, all the self help books, all the AD's, massive TV binges, lots of talking therapies. Key for me now is being kind to myself, making a good nest and I just tend now to wait it out. Being hard on myself about state of house, not working, ignoring friends etc made me recover slower. Self kindness is the way I reckon and knowing that it will pass and you won't always feel this way. And also you are not your feelings. Agree with pp's re flowers being good to have around

Thanks Ant. Sadly I can't sleep lots and I really crave that. It is the pits!

Oh no, not being able to sleep is pure torture. Once had months of waking every hour or so and almost lost my mind. Do you like reading? There are loads of great books on the topic which could give you loads of ideas on what may help? Or even just make you feel less alone with it? Podcasts can be good sleep initiators - I have to have a boring male voice though - I listen to lots of Melvyn Bragg Radio 4 history type things. For a short term - just a few days - I've had sleeping tablets from GP just to try and reset my sleep pattern - have you asked your GP re the not sleeping specifically?

I have some sleeping tablets but I don't like taking them. I think that my sleep has settled in to a pattern of every other day and I don't know how to break it. Feel so miserable.

There aren't any easy answers but when I'm in a similar place to where you are now, I try and remember to refer to this which helps remind me what I need to do to keep basics met for myself. Offers you a handhold.

I'm struggling at the moment too and I do yoga from YouTube, Yoga with Adriene. I try and do it every day and find it really helps me. On good days it uplifts me and on bad days I cry through it which is okay too.

I too am struggling with this horrible thing! It’s been since about oct for me.
With me it’s anxiety as well, which as been awful , as when it’s bad it affects my appetite. I’ve lost about 17lb.
Eventually this had a knock on affect with my mood.

I had days where a be in tears, to the point I was manic at the thought I needed help from someone professional.
I must say I’ve had anxiety/depression bouts since I was 25 on and off
I’m now 60and still suffering with it.
I to have increased my med venlafaxine 4 weeks ago, I’ve had odd days where I’ve wanted to do things.

I was looking on internet as someone mentioned agoraphobia
Now my interpretation of agoraphobia was
NOT ABLE TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
DP was FEAR OF OPEN SPACES

on nhs site there’s was
Travelling
Shopping,and situation where queuing is involved
Keeping appts, hospital,dentist,hairdresser etc
Visiting friends or inviting friends to visit
Attending family celebrations
Attending school,lectures or employment etc
This is ME to a tea, and as completely thrown me. I’ve been diagnosed with GAD

Today I woke with headache which is making my teeth ache, it’s really bringing me down today.
I’m going to get outside after lunch for some fresh air,

Just do what you can, and don’t feel guilty and be hard on yourself.
Re feeling cold, this is me also. I sit there with hot water bottle, it’s the only way I can get back warm(even with heating on at 20)

Don't know where you are OP but where I am the sun is shining and it's fairly warm. I'm going to sit out in the garden and read a book and then I might take my DD to the park. Getting outside in nice weather always lifts my mood. Hope you're finding things to get you through today x

Not really getting through the day as I haven't slept. I have showered and made myself some breakfast and some lunch. Son and DP are going to do a shop but I can't go with them. Feel helpless and hopeless today.

Also thank you for all your good wishes and love to those who are struggling too x

I've been there, OP, and am slowly slipping back there again. But this won't always be your life. Just take it one day at a time.

A shower and two meals!!! That's great! Don't beat yourself up about not going to the shop. Could you maybe go for a walk around the block with some music if the weather is nice? Or just open up some windows. Fresh air is always nice x

It is my birthday today and I just feel numb. I am trying to focus on the fact that this time next year I will be in a better place - hopefully sooner than that. Will try to go out today as I haven't been out for a while.

Happy Birthday OP

Can you treat yourself to something nice?

Happy birthday!

What I find helps is, even though when I'm at my lowest I really don't want to, I go and visit people. It means a change of scenery (which really helps me) and other people can lift you up. But I do have to force myself to do it.

I am trying to focus on the fact that this time next year I will be in a better place - hopefully sooner than that.
Absolutely, OP.
Perhaps you could give yourself a day off pushing yourself for your birthday? Have a hot bath, and snuggle up (after getting out if that’s felt manageable).
Also just wondering if you have a appt booked in for a follow up with your GP/MH support?