Hi Icing,
just wanted to say that antidepressants are prescribed to deal with unexplained depression due to a chemical imbalance in the brain, or as a temporary solution to depression because of circumstances (i.e a death/seperation etc)
For deep issues such as those you've experienced, you really do need to speak to someone who can help you work through it, antidepressants will just mask the problem.
Counsellors are good, but they work by providing a listening ear, guiding your thought processes and letting you come to your own conclusions as you talk. I have visited a counsellor a couple of times, but felt like the real issues I wanted to talk about (my Mums terminal illness) weren't addressed as my counsellor kept steering me towards talking about my sex life.
I always thought I would benefit more from seeing a psychologist at the time (these days I feel generally better) as they are more trained to offer advice and support than just counsellors. It sounds like something that might benefit you too, as sometimes listening to yourself talk isn't enough, and you feel like you need feedback and help to make progress.
Having said that, on days when you're feeling really low, cheesy as it sounds, the samaritans do help. I used them a lot after Mum died, and I probably wittered on and bored the pants off whoever I spoke to, but you do feel quite cleansed afterwards, just for saying all the awful thoughts in your head to another person.
You aren't a saddo for feeling alone, it's a natural response to your situation. But try to keep in your mind that it will pass.