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I have no one to talk to all day.

104 replies

IcingOnTheCake · 08/05/2007 21:32

My dp goes to work at 6am and comes home at 5-6pm. I feel more and more down everyday as i have no one except a 6.5 month old baby. I find it very hard to talk to strangers and instantly put up that protection guard with new people. I have tried the baby groups but no luck. Somedays the people on mn are the only people i speak to all day while dp is at work. I sound like a real sad ass don't i.

OP posts:
rabbleraiser · 09/05/2007 20:52

Can't remember what you said, just that you were in broad agreement with me .

You're doing fine, Icing. I understand that you are shy (I've never done a blush emoticon!), but I'm just trying to jolly you up because you seem a little down at the mo.

Any way, you're just about to enter another world. Your 6.5 month old will soon be sitting up, crawling, walking, talking (all a huge but lovable pain in the arse), and all the hard work you've put in will be rewarded with grins, cuddles and 'I love you's'. Put the work in now and your happiness will come later.

I've been a Stay-at-home-mum (SAHM) since my ds was born 2.6 years ago. My dp is often at work for long hours and little pay, so I know how you feel. I've got three or four cleaning jobs (he comes with me on those), and life can seem a little tough (and certainly skint), but I look at his face and I feel exalted (most times).

Oh, I'm rambling, but these are the phases of life. By all means see a GP, but it seems to me that what you're experiencing is normal - and I think you've got the guts to understand that

bananabump · 09/05/2007 20:53

Hi Icing,

just wanted to say that antidepressants are prescribed to deal with unexplained depression due to a chemical imbalance in the brain, or as a temporary solution to depression because of circumstances (i.e a death/seperation etc)

For deep issues such as those you've experienced, you really do need to speak to someone who can help you work through it, antidepressants will just mask the problem.

Counsellors are good, but they work by providing a listening ear, guiding your thought processes and letting you come to your own conclusions as you talk. I have visited a counsellor a couple of times, but felt like the real issues I wanted to talk about (my Mums terminal illness) weren't addressed as my counsellor kept steering me towards talking about my sex life.

I always thought I would benefit more from seeing a psychologist at the time (these days I feel generally better) as they are more trained to offer advice and support than just counsellors. It sounds like something that might benefit you too, as sometimes listening to yourself talk isn't enough, and you feel like you need feedback and help to make progress.

Having said that, on days when you're feeling really low, cheesy as it sounds, the samaritans do help. I used them a lot after Mum died, and I probably wittered on and bored the pants off whoever I spoke to, but you do feel quite cleansed afterwards, just for saying all the awful thoughts in your head to another person.

You aren't a saddo for feeling alone, it's a natural response to your situation. But try to keep in your mind that it will pass.

Sparkler1 · 09/05/2007 20:55

oh and CA's music is wonderful - don't have the album but you've just prompted me to browse Amazon and I might buy it now. Her "beautiful" song is lovely.

rabbleraiser · 09/05/2007 20:58

I hadn't read your long post when I posted the last. I read the OP and one subsequent. I apologize if my post sounded flippant in light of your past experiences.

There you go! My first blush emoticon.

IcingOnTheCake · 09/05/2007 20:58

Back to Basics is her new album and Stripped was the album she done in 2002, the words she wrote in those songs on Stripped are just amazing and she has a kick ass voice!

OP posts:
Sparkler1 · 09/05/2007 21:00

I've just browsed lyrics to some of her songs - WOW!

IcingOnTheCake · 09/05/2007 21:02

I am a self confessed Christina fan and i talk to her other fans on her official site. One of them got to meet her, i was so jealous!

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Sparkler1 · 09/05/2007 21:04

One day, one day!

IcingOnTheCake · 09/05/2007 21:11

Yeah one day, i have seen her in concert and she was amazing!

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IcingOnTheCake · 10/05/2007 11:25

Well i have made an appointment with my GP so i will see what she says. Its so scary!

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zizou · 10/05/2007 12:13

Well done icing. When is it?

littlelapin · 10/05/2007 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IcingOnTheCake · 10/05/2007 16:31

To be honest i am not sure i wanna go now.

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littlelapin · 10/05/2007 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IcingOnTheCake · 10/05/2007 17:00

littlelapin i think you are my favourate on here because you are always nice to me.

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littlelapin · 10/05/2007 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoodleStroodle · 10/05/2007 17:14

Well done Icing.
Have been in RL today so limited MN but am so pleased you have taken the bull by the horms.

Go Girl! [hugs]

NoodleStroodle · 10/05/2007 17:14

Well done Icing.
Have been in RL today so limited MN but am so pleased you have taken the bull by the horms.

Go Girl! [hugs]

Sparkler1 · 10/05/2007 17:34

Hi Icing - good on you for making your appointment. Do go, it will be so worthwhile in the end.

IcingOnTheCake · 10/05/2007 20:52

I need to take a break from mn. I had a sticky thread the other day over the m&t parking which even though it was me being very unreasonable, made me feel quite down and tearful after. Plus today i nearly got myself know as a rasist (i am not by the way) and i think some people on here don't like any of my posts as i come across as being nasty and i think i need to learn to put my opinion across in a different way. I take everything to heart (always have done) so i need to get myself 'better' and i don't think i am in the right state of mind to take peoples critisism about me at the moment and people on here can be quite nasty and hurtful.

OP posts:
zizou · 10/05/2007 20:58

Icing, don't take a break from this thread. Just avoid ones where you don't feel supported, at the moment, until you feel stronger and can dish it out like the rest. I saw that JG thread, it was one of those very silly ones. don't worry about it.
You've just been really courageous and told lots of mners about your early life, and now you've booked a doctor's appointment. Lots of us are really interested in how that goes, and will be here to cheer you along.
Stay, go on. .

rabbleraiser · 10/05/2007 21:38

I expect you got shiny the other day.

She can be reaaaal mean and it's her problem.

littlelapin · 10/05/2007 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rabbitbreath · 11/05/2007 09:11

hi Icing - here I sit and cry my eyes out this morning, feeling all sorry for myself (hormonal) - I am 35 weeks pregnant and have been at home on maternity leave now for 2 weeks. It gets very lonely being in your own company!

Then I started reading your thread and realised I have absolutely no reason to sit here and feel sorry for myself as there are people like you who really have problems!

I hope and pray that you will find the help you need to get over your issues, to be able to enjoy your life as life is just too short to be so unhappy and troubled - I know it is easier said than done ;-).

Lots of hugs to you!

daisybump · 11/05/2007 09:22

Just reading your post Icing....when my DS was 4 months old, my HV aked if I would mind meeting up with a girl who lived locally who was about to give birth and had split up with her partner. although she had family in the area she was the first of her friends to have a baby and hadn't even held a baby before, let alone change a nappy. She came over to visit and get a bit of practice in with DS....five years on we're still very firm friends.

Could you ask your HV if there is someone in the area in a similar situation she could introduce you too (think someone else may have suggested that, sorry if I'm repeating things)

I was also a single parent at the time, and so determined to prove to the world that I could 'do it all' by myself, that I didn't notice PND creeping up on me until I finally had a breakdown when DS was 7 mo old. Please talk about how you feel to someone...your DH, HV or GP. The longer it goes on the worse it will feel.

I hope you can get through this and there are friends out there for you...you just haven't met them yet, to coin a very syrupy cliche.