I'm sorry to hear that tierra. It was really a dose of reality and I think I knew really I shouldn't be working, just couldn't admit it. My husband thought I'd not be allowed to work when my appointment was with a doctor this time. My manager and colleagues are really supportive but have different ideas about how to manage me so I really didn't know where I stood, felt quite smothered... Panic attack two weeks ago at work (fortunately not in view of public) was the final straw, was getting pretty close to a relapse. I was supported by the same college who supported me during my first breakdown (overnight lone working, no errors, but felt unsafe towards the end of my shift. Very much de ja Vue same setting. Had a nice day with my parents but it was hard to get my mum to understand, I didn't tell her about the panic attack, just said they won't let me back if the occupational health doctor has not cleared me as fit to work. It will work out OK financially with annual leave and mat leave which is what she was worried about.
We've got a hca who was a nurse. She took the job for lower stress and more patient interaction. But she's basically a low paid nurse as she runs a room. She loves moving stock to different cupboards and is a bit of a control freak. I could never be a nurse, far too much stress, paperwork and organisation. Being dyslexic I would struggle. Almost all my record keeping in on computers which I'm much happier with. My midwife is amazing at the speed she reads, writes and talks at the same time.
Just want to arrange some sort of goodbye /baby shower with colleagues. I snapped at my husband yesterday when he said he should be part of the baby shower... It's fair enough but I really wanted it as a work thing rather than a baby thing. I know he doesn't like parties with strangers anyway but I was a bit mean, I feel like I've taken the 'I'm pregnant I can say what I like' attitude too seriously. I'm more stroppy than when I was as a teenager....
Ghost... My psychiatrist seems to be really struggling with her own mental health, reminds me of myself and sometimes I have to remind myself I'm the patient and she's the professional, very weird... She was holding back tears in our first meeting...I came in as an emergency appointment after having a couple of conversations with a nurse but felt like I was the calm one out of the two of us. She's trying to get me to see the consultant and refer me to a different team but it's just too stretched.