I need advice. Not in a good way

[thumperstopthumping]

Please, please no judgement. And I know I'm going to get the MN 'get some real life advice' post but right this second I just need some support/advice on here.

If I were to phone an ambulance and say I think I might kill myself. What then happens? I have children, a house, a partner, etc. I don't know if I would but I can't shift the idea and have been sitting in absolute tears for hours now, I have a splitting headache and can barely move. I feel like I'm in so much pain but there is no real injury. I am very depressed but I suppress it hugely and sometimes it just breaks me down. I've been very worried recently that I have BPD, and think it's a very real possibility that I do which is terrifying.
So yes, if I really selfishly phoned an ambulance and said to them I think I might kill myself tobight, what then happens? Do I get sectioned? Do I lose my children? Social services? I'm not saying I won't phone in the case of these things, but I need to know for my own sanity (ha) Please help.

gosh i don't know i'm so sorry - didn't want to read and run. someone will be by any second with good advice.

i'm sorry you're feeling so dreadful, sit tight my dear.

Can you call someone and ask them to take you to the hospital? walk in to A&E?
Or even a taxi?

Is your partner there with you tonight?

You’re absolutely right to seek help-it’s not selfish. You’d be doing the right thing for your children. There’s no reason for your op that you’d lose your children.

Either talk to your partner, call the Samaritans or seek medical advice. You can feel better

Not judging at all; and I don't have advice re. ambulance etc. but responding to say you are not alone - is the background to this something you can share? There might be people here who can help if there is an underlying problem. Please talk to someone, in real life or here, rather than taking a drastic step .

Breathe, consciously, slowly (cliche but it really does help a tiny bit).
Please do call an ambulance.
You won't be sectioned. Would you go into psych hospital informally? ('voluntarily' but hate that, no-one wants to go into hospital). They might offer that, they try not to because of lack of resources in the NHS.

Sorry you are struggling tonight. No idea what would happen if you call an ambulance but I did have a friend who used to work for mental health crisis team in our local area who responded to calls like this. Maybe call 999 and ask for that service rather than an ambulance?
Otherwise I would strongly recommend calling the Samaritans tonight and getting yourself down to the GP in the morning xxx

www.samaritans.org

Call them, they can talk u through this, help make the step to getting help

My partners here but I've been crying and screaming since 6pm. He went to bed half an hour ago, he has had enough. He thinks it's for attention, so he gives me attention, it isn't helping and now he's like well fuck this, I think. I don't know what to do. I've only really started to calm down because I'm typing and my head hurts so much/feel so sick that I physically can't.
I wouldn't kill myself because I wouldn't even know how too. I'd be unsuccessful at that and end up severely disabled, which really wouldn't help anyone out. No one to take me to hospital, I wish my mum was near :( but she's not. And I wouldn't be able to tell her what I'm feeling anyway, she wouldn't get it. I feel so torn with what to do. I don't want to die, but I want to be able to just go away permanently if that makes sense. God, that makes me sob just writing that.

NHS have an info page on what to do and who to contact if you are feeling suicidal.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/

Is there another adult in your home with you or anyone you can call to be there?

Ph God, Thumper, zi DO hope you're ok

Have you got a good friend you could message straight away??

Do you wish to share your worries on here; maybe that may help a little? xxx

Couldn't read and run. Here is the link to some information on how to access your local crisis team. They exist to help people in exactly your situation. If you read the "about" tab at the top of the page I've linked to, you'll see that they are there to help people who are not in hospital, but who are having a mental health crisis.

OP - Please call 111 or contact Samaritans

BIWI - I think your response is verging on irresponsible. Advising someone with suicidal thoughts that they shouldn't seek medical help but should take some painkillers instead? Really?

If you phoned for an ambulance, stating that you wanted to kill yourself, I assume that the police would arrive too.
This will snowball in to a whole new shower of shit for you op.
You need to seek emergency medical advice , if not , Samaritans .
You were correct in your post that social services could be informed. I very much doubt you would be sectioned , but you could be held on a section 136 for up to 72 hours . Half the time that's in a police cell as a place of safety!

Now I just wanted to give some facts as I understand them. I am no way saying that they are all correct, and I am happy to be corrected.

Are you alone? Partner? Children? Are they safe? Are you safe?
Have you had any alcohol or drugs other then prescribed?
Do you have real life support?
Please come back to talk

Either Samaritans as above poster or look for your local crisis team. They can talk to you over the phone or get MH nurses out to you asap, who quite frankly will help you more than getting you taken to A&E.
www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/treatment-and-support/crisis-teams

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Pressed post too soon.
They might offer you the crisis team who will come to your home every day or two for a while. Or refer you to the community mental health team, or for counselling. They can give you medication to help you call down tonight. It's ok not to know what you want or need, discuss the options with them.
You won't lose your DC. They might refer you to social services, but more to see if they can support you than with a view to removal, lots of mothers have mh issues, if kids are cared for there is no issue, that you have a partner to help when you're unwell will also be in your favour.
Please do call. And keep talking here. This thread may disappear - just to warn you - but hopefully not. I hope you get some help

I think the most you'll get from a &E is an uncomfortable and prolonged wait with probably no resolution.

Do you have any numbers you can call? Do you have any designated psychiatric care?

You clearly are desperate for help. I'm just not sure A&E is the way to access it. Do you think you can make it through to the morning?

There's no answer at samaritans :( it rang for ages then got the 'no volunteers available' voicemail. No hard feelings though, I can't imagine how much they have to deal with so few volunteers.
I'm getting really confused with the posts I'm sorry, who else should I be phoning? Some said about MH crisis team? Would really like to avoid 111 as I know a few women who work there and I know it's unlikely, but would hate for them to answer.
I feel utterly sick with worry. I guess there's nothing to pinpoint as to why I'm like this, I just am. This is very embarrassing but due to shit financial situation I couldn't afford to collect my antidepressant prescription since last Friday, so I am in desperate need but I will be able to afford it tomorrow. There's a few things over the years that I've dealt with really badly, so boring and long to go into, and I think I'm honestly just breaking (well that's what it feels like)
And no, no addiction problems. My DC are only 5 & 1 and the thought of leaving them and them never knowing how much I loved them stops me from doing anything but then on the other hand, no mother is better than a mother who can't control herself

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad, OP.

Would it help to download an app like 'Calm', which has calming breathing and meditations? just to get you through the night perhaps, then I strongly urge you to go to the doctors, it may be that you would benefit from a mental health expert talking through your issues and feelings (have you checked out Borderline Personality Disorder? just throwing it out there, given the strength of your feelings tonight).

Watch videos of puppies and kittens; make a nest under a blanket with lots of pillows/teddies to hug and cuddle, download a really nice children's book like the Moomins, turn the lights low and cry yourself to sleep if you must - but do NOT ACT on your current mood - this too will pass, and when the morning comes you can make that appointment with a doctor.

Good luck OP, and hugs to you ,feeling like this is utter utter shit.

Crisis team here.

OK, so you suddenly stopped taking your anti depressant? that'll be it.

Particularly if paroxetine - you'll feel more depressed and miserable and pointless and panicking than you did before you took them, pounding head, possibly sharp 'flashes' of pain in your head, nausea, probably diarhea in a while too.

Get through the night - lots of sugar might help at a time like this - then borrow a tenner from your partner and get that prescription filled asap.

And you are NOT THINKING straight - no mother is 100x worse, this is your depression speaking. You will live through this crisis, and you'll be able to make plans, get help, find your way through the issues in your life. xx