I need advice. Not in a good way

[thumperstopthumping]

Please, please no judgement. And I know I'm going to get the MN 'get some real life advice' post but right this second I just need some support/advice on here.

If I were to phone an ambulance and say I think I might kill myself. What then happens? I have children, a house, a partner, etc. I don't know if I would but I can't shift the idea and have been sitting in absolute tears for hours now, I have a splitting headache and can barely move. I feel like I'm in so much pain but there is no real injury. I am very depressed but I suppress it hugely and sometimes it just breaks me down. I've been very worried recently that I have BPD, and think it's a very real possibility that I do which is terrifying.
So yes, if I really selfishly phoned an ambulance and said to them I think I might kill myself tobight, what then happens? Do I get sectioned? Do I lose my children? Social services? I'm not saying I won't phone in the case of these things, but I need to know for my own sanity (ha) Please help.

Glad you are feeling a bit better and have a plan for tomorrow.

I hope things will improve when you are back on the ADs. I would think that's likely the reason for this crisis. Do you often reach crisis point? If so what gets you back on track a little bit? Anything you can do now? Sounds trite but remember this is temporary. It's something I often have to remind myself

I understand the need to reach out for help when you are feeling so bad, rather than wait till the moment has passed. Definitely keep trying the Samaritans if you want to talk and keep posting here. But if you can make it through till morning, maybe make some notes using this thread about how desperate you feel at the moment so you can tell the doc tomorrow. Maybe you should be prescribed some anti-anxiety meds (usually benzodiazepines) for emergencies to help you calm down? Tell him/her about your financial difficulties too. You shouldn't be left without meds because of not having the money. Maybe the could give you some extra so you have a couple of weeks in reserve?

I'm not in the U.K. so can't be much help re finding the right person to speak to but can hand hold for a while.

If you can calm down a bit but can't sleep try to find a mindless game to play online. I like two dots and spider solitaire.

OP thinking of you and hoping you are getting some rest, can completely relate to where you’re at, I have no answers, mental health support is so poor in this country, sending love and strength xxxx

Hoping for a calmer day for you OP

www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/mental-health-services-explained/Pages/mental-health-emergencies.aspx

Please read the above link.

I have MH issues and have had suicidal thoughts. I am under a psychiatrist who I've seen for years after I lost my daughter to cancer at 5.

Last week I felt like I just couldn't take any more, I knew what I'd do. The bottom line is, I don't feel that way this week. It might come again, but I'm getting help and you need help too.

MH problems suck big time. You are not alone. Many people feel this way.

Mrs dibler I am so very sorry to read about your daughter - bastard cancer

I felt I had to respond because I think you have nailed it. As you say there are times when you feel you are at the very end but somehow you get through it and you don't feel that way, maybe ever or maybe it does return. That is what strikes me about suicides - the following day might have been ok. It breaks my heart actually.

Hi

I am hoping for a bit of comfort or advice.
I am 36 and found out I am pregnancy around 5 weeks. This will be my third but with a large gap, my daughter is 16 and my son 12.
I suffer from depression and anxiety I have done for 15 years which I have been medicated for.
This pregnancy was not planned though subconsciously I believe I did want to go again.
I am so very afraid that I am doing the wrong thing by having another child because I suffer the way I do. I feel like it is really selfish of me to bring another child into my life to watch me struggle with mental health. I am feeling alot of guilt and have not left my house since the 21st of Dec due to my anxiety.
To add to this my partner does not want this baby. He is 44 with a 13 year old daughter and does not want to start over again. He wants me to have an abortion. I believe that if I do it will only hurt my mental health more but I'm also afraid to have the baby because of the issues I have.
I am so very confused and very lonely right now. I believe because of my mental health that I am already a failure for letting my children witness their mum sad and bed bound at times for many years. Am I just going to do the same thing again?
I love my children so much and I am very proud of how they are but constantly beat myself up worrying that I have affected them and that one day they will have learnt to be depressed through me. Can I really do this to another child.
I have little support with these feelings at the minute.
I spoke over the phone to a doctor to let him know that I've been depressed over Christmas and that I haven't been to work since the 21st of Dec. I told him also that I was pregnant and worried because my partner does not want it and that I am on 200mg of sertaline. He told me I would have to come off the medication until baby was born but I could just go back on again after. This horrified me as I know from experience that it's not that easy and that coming off them will more than likely bring back thoughts of Suicide.

I am very frightened at the minute and would appreciate if anyone has had similar issues?

Many thanks K

Kitty41281 I'm sorry to hear about your very difficult situation. It might be better if you start your own thread - i mean you are more likely to get a range of responses - if you post it again in Mental Health section or even Relationships? You'll get helpful people there, helping you think through your options -

I do recommend you do post again in your own thread as you sound very very low, and you have some very difficult choices to think through - I'm sorry I can't offer you anything more useful.

Hi everyone,

Firstly @kitty41281 I am so sorry for feel like this it is imperative that you access help now. Speak to your GP and get an emergency appointment, you don't have to disclose over the phone as to why. Can you get a cab to the appointment? Could someone come with you to help? Your son perhaps? I'm happy to talk to you on here, although I'm in a bit of pickle recently, so not sure if I'm of much help! I would agree that starting your own thread will get you a lot more advice however.

So went to uni on Thursday, as GP was shut for staff training. I had a great morning, then found I had failed a large part of my exam and became very upset. I've been to the GP this morning and I was COMPLETELY honest for the first time ever , I have a psych referral letter and advised to make contact with STAR.
Thank you all so much, I'm feeling okay today and hopefully I will hold it together until there's a new step in my plan.
Have a wonderful day everyone and will update soon.

Thumper way to go, girl!

I'm genuinely relieved and pleased for you, that you've taken a real step forward. Fab.

(I'm sorry about your exam, but can that be retaken when you're really better?)

I am so pleased that you've had some really positive support. I was reading your thread in the middle of the night and didn't feel I had anything helpful to add but just wanted to say how pleased I am that things are going in the right direction.

Would you be able to resit exam due to your extenuating circumstances re: mental health? Perhaps your tutor or admin team could advise?

Thankyou for the update -